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Help with a 2.5 yo who lies about pooping

LittleD8081LittleD8081 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

My DS is "actively disinterested" in potty training.  I don't push it.  He doesn't like the potty and he screams if I put him on it.  He peed into the potty once...standing up.  I don't think he likes sitting down...but that's another story.

My dilemma is that DS HATES diaper changes.  He flails around and screams.  Now, he is lying about pooping so that he doesn't have to have a diaper change.  He has clearly gone, but he blatantly says "no," when I ask him if he pooped.  We've tried celebrating poop by screaming and cheering, but that only works after he has lied and I say I know he has gone and I start acting all excited.  I can't believe he would rather sit in his own poop than get a diaper change, but he would.

So, how do I get him to stop lying about it...and how do I get him to stop freaking out during diaper changes?  It's getting harder to hold down a toddler than it ever was prior to now...he's a tank!

TIA.

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Re: Help with a 2.5 yo who lies about pooping

  • niknak1128niknak1128 member
    Wish I knew!  DS is almost the same way.. he's not always lying about it but he refuses to sit on the potty.  I almost feel like he gets embarressed by it.  He will usually hide behind the kitchen table or the couch when I know he's pooping and I'll ask him.. honey do you have to go potty?  He'll yell no.. leave me a lone.. but I know he's pooping! His face will get all red and he's grunting but he lies anways.  He's peed in the potty several times but not consistently. He doesn't care about diaper changes.. depends what he's doing.  If he's busy playing, he'll say no mommy i not poopy .. or i too busy right now.  But if he's not.. sometimes he'll tell me he has to be changed.  I don't know.  I tried sitting down with him and telling him that everyone poops and it's ok to poop and it's nothing to be embarressed about and we've celebrated it and everything else but I truly feel like he gets shy about it and doesn't want to admit it.
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  • LittleD8081LittleD8081 member

    imagefredalina:
    How do you get him to stop lying about it? Stop asking him! Still change him of course, just don't ask. Tell him "it's time for a diaper change" or point out he is stinky and do it, but don't ask. That's practically asking for a fib since he clearly thinks it will help him avoid a diaper change.

    Wow. I never thought of that.  Seriously.  That's why I like these boards.  Sometimes the obvious answer is staring you in the face and you just don't see it.  Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Raspberry222Raspberry222

    imagefredalina:
    How do you get him to stop lying about it? Stop asking him! Still change him of course, just don't ask. Tell him "it's time for a diaper change" or point out he is stinky and do it, but don't ask. That's practically asking for a fib since he clearly thinks it will help him avoid a diaper change.

    This...

    DD has never been asked to do things...she is told.

    Time to change your diaper, time to leave, time to clean up, etc.  She does not have a choice, because she would always say no...

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  • kellyloveszachkellyloveszach
    About the other part, the trouble while changing the diaper.  We have that happen too.  I look him in the eye and in a firm voice tell him to stay still.  That if he doesn't like having his diaper changed he has to learn to use the potty.  If that still doesn't work I give him a warning to stop kicking and if he doesn't he will go in time out as soon as his bum is clean.  Usually just the warning works, if he doesn't I follow through and he does a time out.
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  • JoannaJesJoannaJes member
    That's a totally normal developmental stage for this age. DS does the exact same thing when we ask him if he's pooped.
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  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member
    Is it possible you are wiping him to roughly and it hurts?
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  • IdhrenielIdhreniel
    I don't know if it would help in your case, but DS stopped screaming and carrying on during diaper changes when I started changing his teddy bear's imaginary diaper as well.  I guess it distracts him?  I put them next to each other on the couch, and we decide if bear needs wipes/diaper cream/clean diaper while I'm doing each of those steps with DS' diaper.  Might just be one of his weird little quirks, but it's worth a try.
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  • LittleD8081LittleD8081 member

    imageKathrynMD:
    Is it possible you are wiping him to roughly and it hurts?

    I've thought about this before.  That might have happened once or twice with a bad poop...but, nothing consistent...and I'm pretty careful about being too rough, so I don't think that's it.  But, thanks for the thought.

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