I'm emotionally spent today and feel hung over after talking and crying with my mom about it last night. SHe stayed over to take C to the cousins today and instead of having a nice chat about the weather, we got into it about him and me and my failures as a parent. I stayed up too late, cried too much, and am feeling stuck and sad.
Three is kicking my ass. I'll be the first to admit it. My particular parenting skill set falls apart at this age and it shows. Intellectually I know I'm the adult and he's just a little tiny kid. And yet in the moment when he rages at me over some every day thing I am having a hard time not over reacting and making one 5 minute thing into a giant Mount Everest problem in my head. I'm putting coal on the fire rather than letting the whole thing burn itself out without my help. The whole cycle is ugly and makes me feel awful. He doesn't seem to have any lasting feelings about it at all, which honestly is unusual for him. My sensitive kid is hiding behind this "screw you" facade.
So I could use any spare dust you've got lying around that I can clear my head and get my self together so this fog of sadness doesn't linger. So that I can forgive myself for not being a peaceful, zen toddler parent 24/7 and for not enjoying him in all his glory. Because I'm not enjoying him as much as I should and when my mother pointed it out to me a dozen times as a huge failing, it's kind of hard to ignore.
Thanks mamas.
Re: Silly Dust request
big hugs, i have sooo had a few of these kind of momments lately. Lexi has such attitude, and all i can think is "really kid? we give you everything!!!! and you cant just go brush or teeth????"
sigh.
Dh hit home last night when i walked in the door and he hands me a pepsi and says here this should help calm you down.
Did not make me feel better, makes me feel like all i do is bite everybodys head off.
So all this is to show you , i feel ya girl!!! screw it lets go to sbux and see if we can see in hot butts walking to the gym?!?!?!
PM me for our family/baby blog
Haley Beth ~ March 3rd, 2011
Totally not a silly dust request. And I think that we've all been there. My son turning three was just hell. No other words for it. The whole "pick your battles" really went out the window for me - no idea why - it just did. And some days I am trying to just forget and prayed that Ryan would forget too. The only thing that sometimes works for me (and he's 4.5) is separating myself from him. Telling him that I'm too (whatever) to talk to him right now and that I need him to sit in (timeout/go to room/leave me be for a few minutes) and then I can reconnect. Otherwise I turn into crazy-mommy...which makes everyone feel horrible and then I regret and have to apologize for it.
Hugs - hang in there. I think that it sucks even worse to have your mom bring it up. That really sucks. Like we don't have enough pressure and guilt without our moms laying it on too.
Thanks friends. I've been going over my mantras today while I'm at work so I can bring more loving patience home to my kid. How's that for some Oprah talk?
And F, we so need a Frapp fest at the old bucks. No kids this time.
br
Huge hugs!!
There were a couple books recommended to me that really helped. Let me know if you are interested in the titles. Tyson challenged every parenting skill I thought I had and I could not simply navigate on gut instinct alone (I needed the literary help as well as the teacher guidance).