Those that struggled with potty training...

Mrs.K&C · August 2011

What finally worked? Time? Desperation???

S is still fighting the potty, won't sit on it, hates it, loves Pull Ups and will be in them forever. We've tried the no diapers, she just pees on the floor. We've tried rewards, she would graze the toilet with her butt then demand an M&M. We read books. We talk about. We model it (TMI). We ask her. We tell her. We have literally done everything except the cold turkey approach and honestly, I'm not willing to take that route. She is in preschool, and we both work full time. I will not send her to school just to have accidents all.day.long and be embarrassed. That is not an option. Also not an option to take 3 days off and stay home to watch her pee on the floor. DH and I both have a lot of travel coming up and simply can't take time off for that right now.

She turns 3 next week. Sad

Lexi & Orion's Mommy · August 2011

Potty training sucks!!!! Lexi really didnt get it untill her 3rd birthday. THen it was like a light switch. She just got it. Maybe it was her party and everyone telling her what a big girl she was, or what. So for me, if i was u, i'd give up. She will do it when she's ready.

Orion was pretty similar too. i think he was 3 and 2 months before he got it.

everydayeve · August 2011

Lexi & Orion's Mommy:
So for me, if i was u, i'd give up. She will do it when she's ready.

I agree with F. Eve would pee on the potty for a long time, but we fought for almost a year (maybe even longer) for her to poop on the potty. It was only when we gave up the struggle and decided that we just didn't care anymore that she finally started doing it without a battle. It really changed my whole outlook on PTing. I'm now of the mindset that you either do it before they're old enough to realize that they're the ones in control of their bodies or you wait for them to be old enough to make the decision that it's something they want.

Mrs.K&C · August 2011

everydayeve:
Lexi & Orion's Mommy:
So for me, if i was u, i'd give up. She will do it when she's ready.
I agree with F. Eve would pee on the potty for a long time, but we fought for almost a year (maybe even longer) for her to poop on the potty. It was only when we gave up the struggle and decided that we just didn't care anymore that she finally started doing it without a battle. It really changed my whole outlook on PTing. I'm now of the mindset that you either do it before they're old enough to realize that they're the ones in control of their bodies or you wait for them to be old enough to make the decision that it's something they want.

Thanks, Ladies. That's what we've been doing lately, I think I just needed reassurance that it was okay not to push! We had a preschool (not where she goes) basically tell us we were bad parents for not making her do it and she should have been trained before 2.5. Well gee, my daughter tested at a 9 month level for expressive communication when she was 2, but thanks for the advice!!

everydayeve · August 2011

Mrs.K&C:
everydayeve:
Lexi & Orion's Mommy:
So for me, if i was u, i'd give up. She will do it when she's ready.
I agree with F. Eve would pee on the potty for a long time, but we fought for almost a year (maybe even longer) for her to poop on the potty. It was only when we gave up the struggle and decided that we just didn't care anymore that she finally started doing it without a battle. It really changed my whole outlook on PTing. I'm now of the mindset that you either do it before they're old enough to realize that they're the ones in control of their bodies or you wait for them to be old enough to make the decision that it's something they want.
Thanks, Ladies. That's what we've been doing lately, I think I just needed reassurance that it was okay not to push! We had a preschool (not where she goes) basically tell us we were bad parents for not making her do it and she should have been trained before 2.5. Well gee, my daughter tested at a 9 month level for expressive communication when she was 2, but thanks for the advice!!

I'm glad she's not going to that preschool. Any place that would make a blanket statement about kids and development doesn't really seem to know kids at all. PTing is a pain in the ass and unless someone volunteers to move into my house and do it, then they have no right to judge.

green*eyes · August 2011

Agreeing with the others. My guy has been going #1 in the potty (on occasion - when he feels like it) for over a year. #2, three times about a month ago. After that, we got all excited about #2 and kept bringing it up every day, many times a day, whenever it seemed liked he needed to go. It is NOT going well at all and he is now more anti-potty than he ever was. I'm going to shut up about it for a week or so, then try the chocolate chip method, and if no luck there, keep waiting again till he thinks it's "his" idea, not ours.

MrsEmm · August 2011

Brooke didnt want to do it until she could do it all herself. We bought stools for each bathroom and that made a difference at our house - plus once she was able to pull her pants down herself. She didnt care if she pee'd herself, didnt care about wearing big girl pants, or sticker charts. Nothing. But then one day she started doing it herself. She didnt want me to help her at all. Shes fiercely independent so it makes sense but at the time it was frustrating. Theyre all so different and its hard to know whats going to make it click for them. Im not sure if she chimed in yet - but one of the moms says SillyBandz did the trick at her house. Good Luck!!

mrscerruti2be · August 2011

Crash can often be behind when it comes to milestones. My approach has been not to push. My summer job was to get him potty trained. Honestly I dreaded it. I didn't want to push because I thought he would be hard on himself if he failed. One day he said he wanted to go on the potty. It was 4 in the afternoon. We made a huge deal, lots of praise. Got a sticker chart up and never looked back.

My MIL tells me he is a lot like his father. He won't do anything until he knows he can master it. Well, he really did master it on his own. The first few weeks were a breeze. He rarely had accidents. The most he ever had was at Disneyland. That was 3 in one day. I expect regression, but overall he is doing well.

I really am glad that I let it be on his terms. I feel like if I would have pushed, it wouldn't have worked as well.

futrkingsley · August 2011

K, it's so hard to know when to push and when to stop fighting. I'm having huge personal issues with it this week. With potty training, I hoped to avoid a battle of wills that I knew would come if I waited too long (4 being too long in my mind given what I saw of my neices and nephews). When C started to show interest and awareness at 18 months I was hopeful. But over all of last year, his interest ebbed and flowed while his readiness stayed the same. He stayed dry for long periods of time, he woke up dry in the morning most days, he knew when he had to go, would tell us that and ask to be cleaned for pee and poop. So after waiting for a year for him to get the motivation, I decided one day after he was 2.5 to bite the bullet. We talked about it, and went cold turkey. I did send him to school the next day in undies. I didn't stay home for three days. I didn't tell him he was a big boy not a baby. I said I knew he could and if he needed help, I would help him. Six months later I can say it was easy. He never just stood and peed his pants or even pooped his pants once he was in undies. He had a few accidents at first but he realized it super fast and made motions to get to the potty every single time. He still has damp undies a few times a week and has had a few full wet the bed episodes (less than 5 in 6 months), but if I just do a few reminders at key times (before bed, upon waking so he doesn't get comfy and wet the bed), he is in control the rest of the time without problem.

I pushed and he was receptive. If he had not been I think we'd still be locked in the throes of it now and I wouldn't know how to give up because it's not in my nature in this area. Objectively, if she doesn't realize she's wet or doesn't care, it does not make sense for you or for her to keep pushing. But boy would I be losing sleep over it if it were me.

dirtbikemom · August 2011

Sara wasn't potty trained until she was 4. We had to push a bit at that point and we used picture cards posted in the bathroom to help her. It took a while but she got it and now she will go in any bathroom.

SweetieP · August 2011

PT does suck. And Ryan wasn't ready when we tried at 2 or 2.5. About a month before he turned three, we talked about what it meant to be a big boy...(big boy toys...big boy beds...big boy cups...big boy undies...etc) and set a deadline that as of his birthday, we were going to get rid of diapers. For whatever reason, it worked. Maybe S isn't quite ready yet? (I had to make a big deal out of "well, I guess since you're not ready for the potty, that means diapers for you...no pull ups - only diapers." And then I made a big deal of packing up his undies and the potty chair.

Celyn · August 2011

the thing that changed, and the only thing that made a difference for both kids, is they decided they were ready. Both were 3.5 at the time and both pretty much PTed totally, including nights within 3 days.

Mrs.K&C · August 2011

Celyn:
the thing that changed, and the only thing that made a difference for both kids, is they decided they were ready. Both were 3.5 at the time and both pretty much PTed totally, including nights within 3 days.

This is it for Sabrina, completely. Yes, she's dry when she wakes up pretty much every morning. Yes, she can get on the toilet by herself, etc. But she is adamant she is not ready. So that's how it goes!

green*eyes · August 2011

Just asked my mom about this, and she said my brother just woke up one day and decided he was ready. He was a few weeks over 3 at the time and people had been worrying he would never get out of diapers... she didn't push... and he just decided it was time and that was it, never had another accident or anything!

scrapmama2201 · August 2011

The more we pushed, the harder it was. We stopped pushing, let Ty take the lead, and he eventually got it. It wasn't a walk in the park, nor did it happen overnight, but it did finally happen. I swore I'd be sending the kid to college with a box of Huggies. Now, the big challenge, when the hell do they wipe their own ass?? This whole potty training/no diaper thing is incredibly overrated. I still have to deal with poop times two!!

dblhappiness · August 2011

I think with A it was just a matter of letting him lead us. We were lucky in that the boys' schools were incredibly helpful and did the legwork and then I just helped to reinforce it at home. We did a lot of baby steps before just jumping into full on undies. We got them to practice, practice, practice walking into the bathroom and pulling up and down their pants. We made it a big deal to just do something as simple as no crying or screaming just walking to the door. In time, the reminders got less and less and while I'm knocking on wood right now, BOTH boys will now either go on their own or tell me when they have to go. This wasn't happening or even a thought that could happen a year or 2 ago.

But I have to agree that the more we pushed and forced it at home, the more resistance we got. So with that we just had to keep a vigilant eye, which also meant more accidents and clean-up and leading to a mommy feeling very frustrated & defeated.

Hang in there! It is the one of the most frustrating and difficult parts of parenting.

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