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September 2011 Moms
natkay02
member
Breastfeeding: Why is this stressing me OUT?
natkay02
member
Like many of you, I plan on breastfeeding & pumping. But at first, from what I've read, only breastfeeding. I keep getting mixed answers on when you should start pumping. 4 weeks, maybe? So once that starts and I build up a supply, I'm thinking I'll be able to relax a little. But my concern is what happens before that.
I have a strong feeling I'm going to love breastfeeding and the special bond that only me and this baby share. So I'm super excited about it, but it makes me a nervous wreck that I'm soley responsible for keeping this baby nurished. Like, what if I'm not good enough? What if I get stuck in line at the grocery store and the baby is at home hungry? What if I want to have 2 tall draft beers (lol, don't judge, this is what I've craved all pregnancy) on my birthday on Sept 23rd... then what? I can't feed my baby? Obviously if the answer is yes I won't be drinking or going to the store, it is just a lot of pressure and I'm used to splitting all responsibilities 50/50 with my husband. Anyone else feel nervous about this? Any BTDT moms have any advice?
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Re: Breastfeeding: Why is this stressing me OUT?
I'm not an expert at the pumping Q's by any means (didn't ever really pump except for occasionally) but the kellymom website is a great resource.
As far as going to the store and baby being at home hungry - the initial few weeks (possible month or two) will be all about getting to know baby's eating patterns. There came a point where I could KNOW that I had 3 hours that DS never ate during that time, so I could go out on my own and do errands. We'd always have a bottle of pumped milk in the freezer as a just in case, but it rarely was needed. Yes, it is overwhelming knowing that you're the sole source of nutrition, but you'll find your groove and have a bottle on hand for whoever is watching the baby so you're not stressed about the possibility of the baby crying from hunger while you're gone.
It is a big responsibility, and in the beginning, its stressful and takes getting used to. For me, the bond far outweighed the other feelings, but I know everyone is different.
You will quickly learn how to time your trips to the store and drinking to work with your baby's feeding schedule. Your body will take 1 hour to metabolize 1 drink, same rules like driving. So right after you feed your baby, you can have 1 beer, and when the time comes to feed again, you should be good to go. (by 1 beer, I mean 12oz or less). The first few weeks are weird with cluster feeding and getting adjusted, but after that you will see that BFing becomes part of your schedule.
As far as pumping goes, I do not recommend pumping until your routine and supply is established. I feel that people get so worked up over what they are pumping, and the stress causes them to produce less milk. You will always get less milk from a pump than your baby will, and I think its sort of a mindfvck when you start pumping early on. But that's just my feelings.
I think it is good to be concerned but know that it really isn't as hard as what you are picturing it to be. Yes, you can have two draft beers first and foremost. The nurses all told me that if I could drive a car after drinking, then I could bf the baby. There is a minimal amount that passes through the breastmilk and many times, beer helps your supply.
My situation was a bit different because I supplemented immediately because DS lost 1 lb. in the hospital so they started feeding him with formula until my milk came in. But, I BF about 80% of the time once my milk came in and I will say, you just get the timing down of how long you and baby can go without bf. The amazing thing about BF is how quickly your supply matches you and baby's needs. Truely crazy what your body is capable of doing.
You will be more than good enough...just don't stress about it. I know that is easier said than done but really, there may be a few speed bumps but know you are more than capable of doing this. If, for some reason it doesn't work as you planned, know that everything will be alright. The endpoint is a happy, well fed baby and I know you will achieve this by whatever means! Feeding your baby and meeting his or her needs is an amazing bonding experience, even at 4am.
Nat, I had NO IDEA what I was doing. When they handed me DS and told me to have him latch, it was a sort of out of body experience. I just sort of put him on and off he went for it. Crazy! I also deal with engorgement until I got into a schedule with him. It just happens and you learn as you go! Remember, really really stupid people BF and figure it out. You will be great!
I plan to start pumping earlier on then 4 weeks, probably within the first week actually. I probably won't introduce a bottle till 4 weeks, but I want to start on my stash.
This! Great idea!
I think it's just the unknown element to it...we can prepare the nursery and prepare ourselves on almost everything else, but breastfeeding is something we really can't learn until we have to do it! I was stressed about it too so I signed up for a breast feeding class at the last minute for tomorrow night. I've read books too, but I figure the more knowledge I have, the less my mind will spin!
I am a FTM too so I'll just let the BTDT moms talk about the alcohol thing, but I do know that a friend of mine had these little litmus papers she would use once she was pumping to test the breast milk for alcohol content, and if it still contained any after a bigger night out of drinking, she would then dump. Don't know how that would work if you aren't pumping yet...maybe give the boob a good squeeze out onto the paper?? Haha! Ignore me...I'm clueless!
I STRONGLY recommend against this.
You will get so little with your pump the first 2 weeks (maybe longer) you will feel like you are starving your baby when you are not. Pumping at the very beginning sets people up to fail, not to have a stash.
I'm certainly no BTDT Mom, but I did read the book 'Eat Sleep Poop' - it's a common sense approach to Baby's first year of life and I really enjoyed the section on breastfeeding. They said to wait until about week 2 to introduce a bottle. As far as having some drinks he said to pump or feed right before you have your drink or two. But not to be concerned too much with having some drinks and BF!
A little off subject something else I really liked about this chapter was the 5-5-5 rule for milk storage. Your milk can sit out on the counter for five hours, in the fridge for five days or in the freezer for five months and still be ok!
This worries me too! I am in a doctorate prog and can miss maybe 2 weeks of class, but after 2 weeks...I have to go back to class so I need to pump by the 3rd week in order for my baby to be able to eat during the 6+ hours that I am gone...I am worried that I won't have enough of a supply to do so and Im not really sure what to do...
Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!
I flipped out the first time I pumped because I only got an ounce and a half. I cried, I called Medela thinking that my pump must be broken, I posted long ranting posts on TB....all to find out that this was totally normal. I was already a little crazy with PP hormones, and the stress of pumping put me over the edge....I went a little nuts. :P
Don't stress, NatKay! What you're feeling right now is totally normal. It's a big responsibility to be the sole source of nourishment for a new little being, and is definitely pretty overwhelming. Just take one day at a time and enjoy the amazing breastfeeding relationship between you and your LO.
Oh, and definitely enjoy a beer or two! Next to no alcohol makes it into BM, and even if some does, it's metabolized so quickly that it'll likely never get in your LO's system. I plan on having a big, fat beer shortly after I am discharged from the hospital.
Ahh very good to know! See, I told you I was completely clueless!
Well, my review is based solely on one friend's usage and a few other discussions around TB....so take it for what it's worth! Just thought I'd put it out there for everyone.
I asked this question to our Bradley instructor who is also an LC. She said "I would recommend you wait to start pumping until all is going smoothly at home nursing. For many moms, this may take up to a month (for some a bit longer, for others it could be earlier)."
EDT: During our last Bradley class we watched a video on Baby Lead Breastfeeding, made it all seem so simple, way less complicated than any of the books. I wish I could remember what it was called.
There are too many people that I want to reply to now that I'm back, so I'll sum it all up:
FTM's, thanks so much for reassuring me a little that this is a common concern. It's not like I don't think we'll figure it all out, it's just thinking about it sometimes makes me super-duper scared.
BTDT's, I can't hear stories like yours enough. Really. I am truly not as stressed about the alcohol thing as just this baby being soooo dependent on me. I do plan on taking it a day at a time once he gets here. I'm hoping there is something very instinctual that kicks in:)
Thanks for the books/video recs, too. I'll look into those.
I think this is the best advice of the bunch
Pretty sure I feel a lot better after this!
FTM here and yes, I totally share your concerns. My plan was to start pumping when the lactation consultant advised me to, lol. I figured that would be after I got in a good routine and things were working well, maybe 3-4 weeks in?
I'm the music director at my church and play piano for 2 masses every Sunday and am at church a total of 4 hours. I'm really worried about going back and breast feeding. I'm going to go back to just one mass about 3 weeks PP so I'm hoping it works out to feed him right before church and then hopefully he can make it 1.5-2 hours until I'm done with mass.
Yeah it is one of the things on my stress list:)
To go along with this post, I just had the weirdest dream last night. I had my baby but it was my dog(think big black lab) and I was breastfeeding her! I couldn't hold her like they taught us in the breastfeeding class (I would guess cause she is about 80 lbs!) and she was so squirmy! But she latched on just fine! SO weird! I felt weird looking at her this morning when I woke up, I violated my poor dog in my dream...I still feel weird:)
This is the absolute truth! Babies are way more efficient than any pump. They are also intuitive and will suck after milk stops flowing and create second letdowns, and or suck longer to increase supply. Most moms never pump long enough and or can't get secondary letdowns during pumping. When you obsess about the amount of milk you are obtaining you will stress and most likely decrease supply. Also new babies will actually feed as often as every 2 hours from the time the last feeding started so if a feeding took 30 min thats only 90 min from when you last finished feeding. These are critical things that I don't think everyone knows or thinks about. And lastly a newborn's stomach is only the size of a marble at first, so compare that amount to what you expect a bottle to hold (most are at least 4-6 oz) and realize that the amount you can initially pump, even if you are a pump master, will and should be tiny for obvious reasons.
Relaxation cannot be overlooked in its importance to breastfeeding
baby #3 arrived in September 2014...cannot get ticker to work no matter what I try!