Why?!?!?!?!? (PgAL rant)

jmckeag · August 2011

Why can't I (we) be one of those women who are blissfully pregnant without the anxiety and issues that come along with being pregnant after having a loss? I am so frustrated that just when I thought I could let my guard down and stop worrying, a few weeks into second trimester nonetheless, and THEN I start spotting. I saw the baby active and with a good HR on both Sunday and Monday (after I had the scare with my spotting), but I just can't shake the paranoia of seeing the spotting. Albeit it is diminished and only tannish in color, AND my doctor said there was absolutely nothing she saw on my u/s or pelvic exam that concerned her -- yet I just can't shake this overwhelming bad feeling of seeing even just the slightest bit of spotting. I know I should stop complaining, focus on being grateful for being pregnant, and practice the PgAL mantra...but it's just so hard when spotting and RPL are concerned. Ugh...Having a bad night as you can see. Hope all you ladies are having a better one. Thanks for listening to my pity party, hopefully I wake up on the other side of the bed tomorrow (and the spotting is gone of course).

"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby"

Eris-Alexis · August 2011

((Big HUGS)) I think all you can do is remember that the Dr didn't see any problems and there is no reason to think anything's wrong since yesterday, especially since the spotting is going away. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

xoladiebug · August 2011

Don't worry about the "pity party"...we're all in the same boat and understand. Hugs and prayers that this is just a hiccup and you're just fine!

emd2887 · August 2011

Being PgAL is hard enough even when everything is going fine, let alone when you're experiencing spotting. Hopefully the spotting is just a fluke and try to remember that the doctor saw nothing that worried her. Big hugs and hopefully you'll wake up tomorrow with no spotting.

hopefulelise · August 2011

I've had those scares one too many times this pregnancy. It always sets me back in my anxiety. ((hugs))

haziedaze · August 2011

((HUGE HUGS)) Just think, in a few short weeks you should start feeling movement! That has made a huge difference for me. It seems like I freak out for a few minutes and then my little guy kidney punches me like, "stop worrying, Mom, I'm still here!"

Junebug060609 · August 2011

I completely understand the 'can I just get an effing break' line of thinking when it comes to spotting. Had it so damn much in 1st Tri I cried myself to sleep with worry just praying it would stop and things would be alright so many times.

Focus on the u/s and pelvic looking good.

alexa08 · August 2011

((hugs)) I'm sorry this is all so stressful! Tan or brownish blood is likely old and may be left over from your spotting earlier in the week or your exam. I hope this is the last you see of it.

BobbiJanay07 · August 2011

Hugs.

clarks415 · August 2011

I am so sorry. What we feel is totally unfair. I had my DS and was blissfully ignorant to all of the worries (until the end where I had complications, but even then did not fully grasp it all.) Now after having a loss, I won't allow myself to feel happy. Every time I start to feel the least bit excited I remind myself to shut it down. How horrible is that of a mother? I feel horrible no matter what. I pray every time I go to the bathroom, every morning I wake up, every time a symptom has disappeared, every time I look at my son. All I do is pray. All I do is worry. If I didn't have the ladies on this board for support I think I'd lose my mind.

JoAnna914 · August 2011

I am so sorry you're going through this. What you're feeling is no "pity party"- it's completely understandable. I had spotting at 12 weeks and I had a huge panic attack over it. Luckily, my doc was able to identify that it was because of a teeny tiny polyp on my cervix, and had nothing to do with my pregnancy (other than the fact that the polyp probably formed because of my crazy hormones). Regardless, I still check for spotting every single time I go to the bathroom.

Hang in there, and know that what you're feeling is totally understandable. ((((HUGS))))

Fififa21 · August 2011

Hugs. I?m sorry you?re going through this. I hope the spotting stops soon. We?re all here if you need anything!

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