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Childless not by choice
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Am I still a mommy if my babies are in Heaven?

xxxkittenxxxxxxkittenxxx member
in Childless not by choice
I know that I am, but sometimes I feel like I am not since I have no children here with me...I am young. Only 21 going on 22 to be exact. My life is covered in tradgedy lately though, enough to make me wonder why I still want children. Not enough to make my husband and I stop trying. Before I met my husband he had already lost 3 children to miscarriage, and I myself had lost 1, all we had ever wanted was a family, even though I am young I have been through a lot and know and cherish the meaning of family and love and even living. My husband and I met and fell instantly in love in October of 2009 and nearly instantly became pregnant with our son in heaven who we call Bubba, I misscariied around 4 months due to stress and we were extremely heart broken, Bubba was my second loss, and my husband's 4th...About 6 months later or so, in June/July of 2010 we started trying and became pregnant instantly again, with our daughter in heaven, Carol "Amy" Long 2/25/11-5/9/11...she died due to SIDS or crib death at 10 weeks 3 days old...our perfectly healthy baby went to sleep and never woke up...she was and is our world and we will never replace her or ever get over losing her, she is the perfect baby in my pictures...now 2 months after her loss our arms are empty, we're still broken and our home is too quiet and lonely...We decided to try again. As of right now, we hit the dates of ovuation and are waiting to see if it worked or not, Amy has come to me in 2 dreams to tell me about her sister Lilly so we will see what happens from here, we pray that God blesses us with a large family here on earth, since we now have 6 children in heaven... I guess we will keep trying until we suceed, but I am so afraid to lose another child...Broken Heart
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Re: Am I still a mommy if my babies are in Heaven?

  • XXXXX222XXXXX222 member

    Yes, you are absolutely a mommy. I'm so sorry for your losses.

    Check out some of the other boards. They will be more supportive. This board is not very active. Take care. 

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  • swhaxswhax
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  • hethr519hethr519 member
    Yes, you will always be a mommy!  Your story really touched my heart.  I am so sorry for your losses. 
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  • luvduv1088luvduv1088
    of course you are a mommy - you are a mommy to angels, as my grandma would say. i wish you the best of luck on this round - and i am sending my prayers that everything goes well and you have a healthy baby in about 9 months :) or when ever it finally happens - good luck and best wishes
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  • OrangeSmokeOrangeSmoke member

    Not a regular on this board, but of course you are a mommy!

    Have you looked into getting some testing done?  It's not normal to have this many losses.  Your OB, or even better an RE, can run a RPL (recurrent loss panel) to determine to root cause of these frequent miscarriages.  It could be as simple as adding P4 support during your early first tri.

    Good luck and big hugs.

     

    Me: PCOs DH: Perfect!
    4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
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  • imleeannimleeann member

    of course you are!

    i am very sorry for your losses. i cried reading this, 
    i pray and hope that you guys will have a big family just like you want!

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  • UOduckBride2beUOduckBride2be member
    imageOrangeSmoke:

    Not a regular on this board, but of course you are a mommy!

    Have you looked into getting some testing done?  It's not normal to have this many losses.  Your OB, or even better an RE, can run a RPL (recurrent loss panel) to determine to root cause of these frequent miscarriages.  It could be as simple as adding P4 support during your early first tri.

    Good luck and big hugs.

     

    OMG...this, every word.  No way am I minimizing your losses, but thankfully you are young and have time to see if an RE can provide a diagnosis.  Please have Karyotyping done on you and your husband.  Particularly because of his multiple losses before you were together.  It is expensive and not always done with RPL testing, but could save you many more heartaches.  Often times doctors do not have this testing done until after people have failed IVFs.  We are having it done in a week, prior to IVF.  I have had 4 losses and while I do not look forward to finding something wrong, I do hope for answers that can give us more clear direction towards achieving success. Good luck to you!

    Me: 37 DH: 43 Married 9/2004 TTC since 9/2005 CP Dec 2006 MC June 2008 at 6 weeks MC April 2010 at 9 weeks 50 clomid+IUI 11/2010=BFN 50 clomid+IUI 12/2010=BFP MC Feb 2011 at 7 weeks 8/11 CD3 AFC=24,FSH=6.91,AMH=5.6,E2=47.9, TSH=1.27,8/26 12DPO BFP Alistair Charles "Charlie" was born 5/7 weighing 8lbs, 10oz and 22" was long imageimageimageimage
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  • misstrish521misstrish521 member

    ::lurker butting in::

    I am so sorry for your losses, and you are absolutely still a mommy. I recommend checking out the Miscarriage/ Pregnancy Loss board and the TTC after a loss board, if you haven't already. The ladies there are wonderful, and the boards are a lot more active. GL to you.

    ::butting out:: 

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  • laurncui812.0laurncui812.0 member
    You are the best mommy there could be. You have your children in the arms of the best care taker they could possibly have. They will never know the pain of this world and they know you better than you can imagine. Someday we will all see our babies again and be with them forever.
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  • MommyLove09011MommyLove09011

    of course!

    sorry for your losses...your story broke my heart.  

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  • hid182hid182

    imagelaurncui812.0:
    You are the best mommy there could be. You have your children in the arms of the best care taker they could possibly have. They will never know the pain of this world and they know you better than you can imagine. Someday we will all see our babies again and be with them forever.

    This made my day!  This is the sweetest thing I've read in a while.  Sorry for butting in, but I don't think this has ever been phrased so well.

    You're always a mommy.  We DO get to see them again, and hold them, play with them, and give them the kisses we so badly want to give them now.  

    I really hope you're taking care of yourself and T&P to you and your family.

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  • alinnolanalinnolan
    Just because you were not able to hold them in your arms does not discount the fact that you held them in your heart. You will always be a mommy. I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you have happy memories of your baby girl Amy. Hold tight to hope and never give up.
    ITS A GIRL!
    Isolde Genevi
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    I am just lurking but I cannot imagine anyone not considering you a Mom, you lost your precious daughter at 10 weeks old, you are her Mom and will always be her Mom.  I am so sorry for your loss.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    This touched my heart so dearly I have had 5 miscarriages so far none explained I am pregnant now and so hopeful I was lurking here because I'm not sure if I will ever have the family I crave. I cried for you and myself after reading this. I will pray for you because its the only thing I have to offer. I'm sorry just doesnt cover how badly I feel and how much I wish you a noisy home and peaceful heart
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