A Vent (Pregnancy/Baby Mentioned)

WeBelieveInMagic · August 2011

Right before I walked into the gym I looked at my phone and saw a message from my mother in law. I opened it, not thinking anything of it. When I did I was greeted by a photo of a newborn baby in its plastic hospital crib, maybe a few hours old. I just sat in my car in shock. I didn't even know who's baby this was. Then I read the caption. My husband's sister has a boyfriend. It is the boyfriend's sister's baby. I have never met this girl. Never even laid eyes on her! How could anyone who knows what my husband and I are going through send me a picture of a newborn!

I thought I was okay and walked into the gym but j ust as my Zumba class started I fell apart. I had to run into the locker room. I had a good cry for myself. Something I hardly ever allow myself to do. I went to class but didn't enjoy it.

I don't know if my mother in law is clueless or intentionally cruel. Thanks for listening. I was just dumbstruck by the whole thing.

gervaisj6 · August 2011

I am so sorry thst happened. I remember being practically forced to hold a baby at a christening, and choking back tears.If I were you, I would have your DH tell his mom not to do that stuff. ((hugs))

naybird · August 2011

I think you should have dh talk to his mom and explain how much that hurt you. You don't know this woman so why on earth would she think you needed to see a pic of her newborn??

Sometimes a good cry is what you need. Big hugs.

coroda2008 · August 2011

So sorry. That seems so insensitive. (HUGS)

FraggleChic · August 2011

That's terrible. I'm so sorry!

eponine7682 · August 2011

I would be just as angry if my MIL did that to me. I already get angry with her when she talks about a baby shower, but at that time she didn;t know about our struggles. Now that she is in the know, I think she avoids baby talk with me, which is just fine. Sorry hunny, that was really insensitive of her!

BeeBee08 · August 2011

Wow. That is very insensitive. My MIL was also doing insensitive things, and DH and I gave her the Resolve list of ways that people can support family members experiencing IF because we had enough. Ever since we gave her that information, it has been night and day. It might be something to consider. Good Luck and ((hugs)).

WeBelieveInMagic · August 2011

Thank you so much for the help and the hugs. My MIL just gets to me sometimes. She has been cruel in the past, making it very clear to my husband and I what is expected of us when it comes to pregnancy and children. That there shouldn't be any. We have been made to feel like our "defective" genes are a blight on the family. When stuff like this happens I can't help but feel like it's intentional cruelty.

You ladies have been great, as usual. I just needed to get that off of my chest. It was the shock of it I guess. Usually, I know when people are pregnant and can brace myself for the announcement. This was just a surprise that I was unprepared for.

labdemon · August 2011

WeBelieveInMagic:
Thank you so much for the help and the hugs. My MIL just gets to me sometimes. She has been cruel in the past, making it very clear to my husband and I what is expected of us when it comes to pregnancy and children. That there shouldn't be any. We have been made to feel like our "defective" genes are a blight on the family. When stuff like this happens I can't help but feel like it's intentional cruelty.
You ladies have been great, as usual. I just needed to get that off of my chest. It was the shock of it I guess. Usually, I know when people are pregnant and can brace myself for the announcement. This was just a surprise that I was unprepared for.

Um, I think "intentional cruelty" is an understatement.... that is a terrible thing to say/imply to someone! Sending hugs your way.... sorry you're dealing with that on top of all the other BS that IF throws your way.

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