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Invites to kid's birthday parties and gift etiquette ?

DCtoLowcountryDCtoLowcountry
in D.C. Area Babies

We've only been at our new daycare for a few weeks and already have received invitations to 2 birthday parties. Yay for being inclusive, but one is scheduled during DS's naptime so we're not likely to attend.

In this area, do you just bring a gift to the party? Or if you can't attend, do you send a gift anyway? I'm confused.

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Re: Invites to kid's birthday parties and gift etiquette ?

  • LindseyJWLindseyJW member

    i send gifts to weddings and showers that i cannot attend, but not birthday parties (unless it's a very good friend, in which case i must have a very good reason to not attend!).

    hence, i would not send a gift to a toddler's birthday party that i can't attend.

    we invite all the kids from T's DC to his parties (even though some are babies), but only because it would be rude to invite 2 and not the other 7! they don't come, but it's the gesture that counts.

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  • LMH1209LMH1209 member
    If we're invited to a child's birthday party and don't go, I don't usually give a gift.

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  • vtkgirl77vtkgirl77
    I would not send a gift unless it was a toddler that our family was really close to. But for someone LO just knows from daycare, I don't think a gift would be expected if you can't make it.
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  • kateztakatezta

    I send a gift if I RSVP and then cannot attend.  It has only happened once or twice.  If we cannot go at all, we do not send a gift. 

    Be careful how much you start to spend on gifts.  At our daycare, especially once she was in the 3 yr old room, we got a birthday invite every weekend it seems.  It can really add up. 

    Another trick I learned is make sure you don't talk about the party with DS unless you can/want to go.  My DD has a mind like a steel trap.  I usually try to hide the invite and not talk about it until the day or two before. 

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