38 week appt, vent, and update on my mom...

whispergrrl · August 2011

Lots of stuff going on today!

I had my 38 week appointment, with NST this morning. All is still good, thankfully! Apparently, I'm having way more contractions than I'm feeling, and my doctor is happy - saying my body is gearing up for labor.

I talked with her more about her ideas on induction. I let her know I'd really like to let the baby try to come on her own, but will also respect her medical opinion on when to do an induction. She said she is fine with letting me go all the way to the 24th (the EDD they have listed - 2 days after my real one), she just doesn't want me going past that. I'm fine with that....so here's hoping baby does her thing sometime before the 24th so I can avoid an induction!

Let's see...my little vent now, if you don't mind. Many of you have seen me talk about my stepdaughter on here. My husband and I have 3 full weeks during the summer (in addition to regular time during the school year and holidays) where she comes to stay with us. These weeks are not consecutive, and had to be established prior to the beginning of the summer and agreed upon by both DH and his ex. We scheduled our last week in August just before my EDD, which we weren't happy about, but it was the only other week that would work the way we had to do it (can't bootstrap onto a weekend visit, etc) So, we were scheduled to have her come stay with us the 12-19th. The only concern we have is if I go into labor on my own while she is with us, we would have to try to find someone to watch her while we are at the hospital. It's doable, but a pain. Since getting the info that I may have to be induced between 39-40 weeks, we figured we would just try for an induction date after the 19th, and then we wouldn't have to worry about missing out on time with her, or finding someone to stay with her while we are at the hospital.

Well, today DH receives an email from his ex basically saying that her mom is taking stepdaughter out to CA (from MI) to see her aunt, and they just realized the dates are during our weekend time ( the last weekend in August before school starts back), and they didn't even realize this until they got all the flight confirmation stuff, so can we please let them have that weekend, and she can just stay with us longer at the end of our week visitation - meaning that she will go back to them on the 23rd instead of the 19th.

Of course we said yes. We aren't going to not let her go visit her aunt just because her mother is an idiot. At this point, though, it pretty much guarantees that she will be with us if I go into labor on my own, and if not, the only day for the induction if it is needed is the last day the doc will let me go to. I know people have babies all the time when they have another child to take care of too, but for some reason this is just really bothering me. This is my first child, and I kinda had this image of me, DH, and baby coming home and having a few days together alone. Instead, it looks like we will have my stepdaughter here too. Again, not that big of a deal....I love her to pieces and she is so excited to be getting a little sister. But I'm a first time mom and I know I'm going to be stressed with the lack of sleep, trying to breastfeed, etc...and I really didn't want an inquisitive 6 year old hovering during that initial first couple days.

Also, his ex pulls this crap every year. She always "accidentally" miscalculates visitation time and asks for us to switch so they don't have to cancel trips and lose out on their payments and such. Last year she did it over father's day weekend!

I'll get over all of this. I'm just being hormonal. Whatever happens, it will all work out fine, I'm sure.

Also, I got another update on my mom today. Some of you may remember that she is now in a nursing home with some type of dementia - all this started back in March, and we have been trying to figure out what is causing her issues and such. Well, I missed a call from the nursing home this afternoon (I decided to lay down for a nap, and of course the one time I do, I miss an important call!) telling me that mom's BP has been spiking, then dipping for a couple days, so she was seen by the doctor today. He suspects some heart issues going on, so he ordered a bunch of tests. They also said he suspects it is aortic stenosis, based on some test she had done in the spring that apparently he is just now looking at! *sigh*

I did a little research, and there is a type of dementia (vascular dementia) that can be caused by heart problems like the one they suspect now with my mom. So, we may have some answers as to what is causing her dementia....which is good. The bad part is, if this is really the cause of the dementia, there is no fixing it....only keeping it from deteriorating faster. I just hate this.

If you read this far, you get a cookie. Thanks for listening to me ramble.

etoyama · August 2011

Ugh hon I'm sorry. That is an awful lot to be dealing with when you're 9.5 month pregnant! I'd be so p*ssed at DH's ex for pulling that crap! What is the matter with her? I don't suppose there's any other relative that your step-daughter is close with that she could go stay with while you're in the very end of your pregnancy? It's such an unusual situation and I don't blame you a bit for wanting alone time with your DH and your LO. I'm sorry to hear things are still difficult with your mom. I continue to keep her in my T&Ps. At least like you said, your LO is looking great! She's a rockstar!

whispergrrl · August 2011

etoyama:
Ugh hon I'm sorry. That is an awful lot to be dealing with when you're 9.5 month pregnant!

I'd be so p*ssed at DH's ex for pulling that crap! What is the matter with her? I don't suppose there's any other relative that your step-daughter is close with that she could go stay with while you're in the very end of your pregnancy? It's such an unusual situation and I don't blame you a bit for wanting alone time with your DH and your LO.

I'm sorry to hear things are still difficult with your mom. I continue to keep her in my T&Ps.

At least like you said, your LO is looking great! She's a rockstar!

Yeah, most of DH's family are local to us...so we do have people who can come get her and keep her while we are at the hospital if needed. I just hate to impose on people like that. I know they're family, but I still don't like doing it. Especially if we have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night or something! I know they are all willing to help out and stuff, though...so it will all work out.

As for DH's ex....she just likes to be a *** and exert what little control she can still have over DH. She knows he's not going to deny his daughter the vacation to visit her aunt. She knows he won't NOT switch times, because if either of us denies the other a "favor" like this, then both sides will always deny favors out of spite. We have had times we've asked for switches too, due to family emergencies or whatever. It just pisses me off that they deliberately schedule stuff for our time when they've had the visitation calendar since May!

As for my mom....I'm just worried about her health. I'm sad for her, and for me. I hate that my child (ren) won't ever REALLY know her. It's bad enough my dad died years ago, so my kids won't ever know him....and now all this with my mom. And on top of it all, I haven't been able to see her in weeks (doc had me stop travelling), and I don't know how long I have to wait after LO is here to take her up to meet my mom.

I guess I'm just in a bad mood today. Bleh.

etoyama · August 2011

whispergrrl:
etoyama:
Ugh hon I'm sorry. That is an awful lot to be dealing with when you're 9.5 month pregnant!

I'd be so p*ssed at DH's ex for pulling that crap! What is the matter with her? I don't suppose there's any other relative that your step-daughter is close with that she could go stay with while you're in the very end of your pregnancy? It's such an unusual situation and I don't blame you a bit for wanting alone time with your DH and your LO.

I'm sorry to hear things are still difficult with your mom. I continue to keep her in my T&Ps.

At least like you said, your LO is looking great! She's a rockstar!
Yeah, most of DH's family are local to us...so we do have people who can come get her and keep her while we are at the hospital if needed. I just hate to impose on people like that. I know they're family, but I still don't like doing it. Especially if we have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night or something! I know they are all willing to help out and stuff, though...so it will all work out.
As for DH's ex....she just likes to be a *** and exert what little control she can still have over DH. She knows he's not going to deny his daughter the vacation to visit her aunt. She knows he won't NOT switch times, because if either of us denies the other a "favor" like this, then both sides will always deny favors out of spite. We have had times we've asked for switches too, due to family emergencies or whatever. It just pisses me off that they deliberately schedule stuff for our time when they've had the visitation calendar since May!
As formy mom....I'm just worried about her health. I'm sad for her, and for me. I hate that my child (ren) won't ever REALLY know her. It's bad enough my dad died years ago, so my kids won't ever know him....and now all this with my mom. And on top of it all, I haven't been able to see her in weeks (doc had me stop travelling), and I don't know how long I have to wait after LO is here to take her up to meet my mom.
I guess I'm just in a bad mood today. Bleh.

(((HUGS))) Don't be afraid to take those relatives up on their offers! Seriously! You need to be your priority right now.

cbubbles2 · August 2011

Wow you have a lot going on you poor thing! I'm sorry YHs ex is pulling all this crap now, she sounds like a real treat! That stress is the last thing you need. I hope everything works out! And your poor mom, it seems like a good thing they figured out what it could be though. Hang in there Hun!

SweetDahlia · August 2011

I'm sorry this is all falling on you now. So exciting you are so close! I hope it all works out for you guys.

NicoleeBonsai · August 2011

wow, you have a lot going on right now, i'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.

i'm sorry that your H's ex is being a PITA about your SD's time with you. she sounds pretty rude and inconsiderate. i hope that everything works out and you make it to your scheduled section on the 24th so you, your H and baby can come home and enjoy your new family for a few days.

and i'm so sorry to hear about your mom. i hope they are able to get to the bottom of her health issues. even if they can't solve them, i hope they are able to bring her comfort and relief.

((HUGS))

MrsVo · August 2011

Just catching this - hang in there!! Sending lots of T&Ps to you!

Want a personalized experience?

38 week appt, vent, and update on my mom...

Re: 38 week appt, vent, and update on my mom...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards