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3rd Trimester
repedrick
member
Those done having babies after this LO-?
repedrick
member
We will be done having babies after this LO and I was wondering if anyone has talked to their doctor about permanent BC? I mentioned it to mine so that I could research the options and was told that we have 3 options:
1) tubal ligation 2) Essure 3) Vasectomy
DH refuses to do the vasectomy and I've been reading about the Essure. It's fairly new and is getting mixed reviews. I've read several posts about it not forming a barrier like its supposed to and people getting pregnant on it. So I'm leaning towards #1 now. My question is- if something were to happen to one of our kids, I wouldn't want to have an only child and would probably want another one then (depending on age at the time). If you do a tubal could they still do an egg retrevial and IVF then? I know if would be expensive, but I still would like that option. Anybody have any info?
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Re: Those done having babies after this LO-?
With IVF, you skip the tubes. The ovaries are stimulated and eggs are retrieved so that status of your tubes doesn't matter. So technically, yeah, you could do IVF after a tubal. But a tubal reversal might also work.
I have not had a tubal or reversal! But I've done IVF a few times and I would hate that to be someone's backup plan. I mean, not only is is expensive - it sucks in many other ways. Hormone injections, procedures, and no guarantees.
If you are looking at a solution that you don't really want to be permanent - perhaps a tubal is not for you. If you want to keep an option open to have another child, don't have surgery.
Is the death of one of your children really the only circumstance where you would consider having another child? Do you think after mourning the death of a child you would be prepare to have invasive surgeries and heartbreak to try for another? That you are thinking of the mortality of your children and planning for a backup in that instance -- perhaps is something to examine. We all worry about our kids but this kind of thought process may be something to look into deeper.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
Definately feel free to give me your opinion but here is our situation:
I hate the pill and suck at remembering to take it everyday. So after DD#1 we tried a different route- we tried Mirena and then Implanon but my body did not react well to either of those 2 options. So for 1 year I went on the pill and tried really hard to stay on schedule with it (didnt go so well) and finally went off it and TTC #2. After #2- we will be done.
However, a close friend had 2 kids, had a hysterectomy and then DD#1 died at age 3. Like us, they did not want their son to be an only child. Their only option at that time was IVF with a surrogate and they now have twin boys.
So, I want a permanent BC with the mindset that nothing will happen and our life will be great. However, I know that things happen (my DH is a funeral director so we've seen lots of things) and even though IVF option would be grueling and expensive- I see it as a backup plan.
If I'm missing an option, please throw it out there. From my research- tubal reversal and vasectomy reversal have low chances of success compared to egg retrieval. I'm just looking at the very small % chance that I would want the option available again and what would work for us.
As I told my Diabetes educator today...She asked "What are you doing for BC after this?
Me "We're just gonna cut off his weenie. I have 2 kids, I have no use for it anymore."
She said I made her day. In my case DH offered to do it because other men have told him that their wives got fixed and it made them crazy. So he's all for anything that won't make mommy crazier.
DH got a referral for the big V on Friday. It's the simplest route plain and simple.
We have discussed that if for any reason we decide we want more later we will adopt. We've always wanted to adopt anyway.
ditto. if i wasn't have a c-sect. mh would be getting snipped for sure but it will easier for me to just do this.
DH is getting snipped after this one. We're going to wait a year to be sure, but I'm already 36 and this pregnancy stuff wasn't as easy as one would hope between the daily injections, etc. One's enough for us. If we want more, we'll adopt.
DH offered to do it. He'd rather a quick snip and couple days of being uncomfortable than condoms again and the very real chance of another oops and having me going through all this again. (I get pregnant at the drop of a hat, just takes a freakin' act of congress for me to stay that way
)
Ahh, the followup makes sense now that you mentioned your friends' situation and what they went through.
Actually, I think vasectomy reversal has a waaay better success rate than IVF. And the closer the time period to the reversal, the better your chances are. So if that backup plan is important to you, a vasectomy would be SO much easier to overcome than going through a tubal and then IVF.
I have actually been considering a tubal also. Which is weird considering my struggles with IVF. See, I'm 39 (today) OLD and this pregnancy has been tough. We will be happy with 2 kids. I think it's probably next to impossible for us to get pg naturally, but we know that there is always that chance. And we have one frozen embryo left - so I feel some sort of obligation for that embryo to have a shot. It only has about a 30% chance. If I got pg by BIG surprise naturally, then we would go ahead with that pregnancy. And that one frozne embryo....well, it wouldn't have it's shot. Weird right? I'm not prepared to be pregnant again. But we may decide to transfer that embryo and be willing to be pregnant by it -- but not a surprise.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
Posting from an Android sorry for any errors
This!
I told DH that I went through 3 rounds of shots and hormones to get pregnant. I took hormone shots to stay pregnant all of first trimest and I will be the one who either births these babies or gets my guts cut open... its his turn to scrotum up to the table.
This except if we decide not to have any more, I'll have a tubal rather than DH having a vasectomy. We've basically decided that based on this pregnancy it's the only biological child we'd like to have, but we are still in our 20's and would like to leave our options open in case we change our mind. We've mainly talked adoption & fostering for any future children, since it's always been something strong in our hearts.
This is our last baby! He will be getting a vasectomy! We discussed it and it's a much easier produce. If I were you I'd do the tubal ligation unless you can talk hubby into vasectomy. A good friend told her husband, "You cant touch me until you do it" He did it within 3 weeks!! Threaten him with no nookie. Lol
I'm having another section, and DH is going to get a V.
Especially when we found out it was twins, he almost RAN to the clinic. Friends that had tubals the day of their sections told me not to do it for various reasons.
I decided that I didn't want to end me fertility (or lack of) the day my babies were born.
I did the BCP, I did the shots, I did the pregnancies, I did the nursing (will do)... um... yeah... it's not my turn : )~
THIS THIS THIS!!!
My husband and I are done after this too and HE was the one that suggested a vasectomy. They can be reversed if needed and they aren't that big of a deal. His dad had one and he knows they aren't as painful as people make them out to be so he is fine with it. He is actually looking forward to it since it means he won't have to wear a condom ever again.
Well, this isn't a "permanent" solution but i'm with the IUD crowd. The copper IUD can be kept in for 10 years and then replaced again after that. You never know where life will take you and like you said, if something happened and you wanted another child, it's easily removed and you can immediately try for another baby. Good Luck.