Feeling so confused...

srkm · August 2011

Maybe it is the fact that I have had 6 hours of sleep in the last two days, IF, my extreme headache or the allergies but I'm starting to feel like I am going to be a bad mom one day...

DH and I took my 5 year old step daughter and my 7year old nephew camping this weekend and they were a handful! Lots of not listening, crying talking back etc... By the end of the weekend I was so annoyed by these two kids and just wanted to go home and go back to my own schedule and quiet time. It got me wondering if I am just not cut out to be a mom.

If I feel this way after two nights how am I going to be a mom 24/7? Is it just because they are not my kids? I really hope you feel different when it is your own. I am so feeling down on myself right now...

Maybe I am better as a dog mommy because he (my doggy) never annoys me and I was sooooo excited to see my little pup! Sorry for the vent.

AmCheri · August 2011

I can relate. We just spent two days (one night) with our friends and their two young children. But the second day, DH and I had had enough of the tantrums, crocodile tears and sassing. Also, even just the loud playing in the house started driving us nuts.

And, like you, we do feel like pretty good dog parents :-)

I really think that it is different when they are your own children. But also, it will be a transition. Right now, we have a quiet, clean and orderly house. Bringing a little chaos into it will be a big change. You're just not accustomed to it, so don't be so hard on yourself. When you're so motivated to have a baby that you'll put yourself through the painful process of fertility treatments, there's no doubt in my mind that you'll be a fabulous mom.

madhatterxo · August 2011

AmCheri:
I can relate. We just spent two days (one night) with our friends and their two young children. But the second day, DH and I had had enough of the tantrums, crocodile tears and sassing. Also, even just the loud playing in the house started driving us nuts.
And, like you, we do feel like pretty good dog parents :-)
I really think that it is different when they are your own children. But also, it will be a transition. Right now, we have a quiet, clean and orderly house. Bringing a little chaos into it will be a big change. You're just not accustomed to it, so don't be so hard on yourself. When you're so motivated to have a baby that you'll put yourself through the painful process of fertility treatments, there's no doubt in my mind that you'll be a fabulous mom.

I completely agree with that statement. It's hard to take care of someone else's children. The children won't respect you as much, and you have to be careful what you say and how you try to make them obedient. I think when you have your own children, it will be completely different.

heathergirl67 · August 2011

I agree with the others. They're not born as 5 and 7 year olds. They start out a lot more lovable!

Mitzi Bishi · August 2011

You'll know your barriers and what you will tolerate.

I know it's easy to be one of those "my children won't XYZ", but at least you have some notion of what you do and don't like. That's definitely a good start!

It's incredibly difficult to discipline someone else's children without stepping on toes. Children naturally push the limits, but it doesn't happen overnight. They are doing those things because it works for them.

I think it's smart to ask questions and to be aware of what you are going to be getting into, but your own children will be much easier for you to tolerate and even enjoy!

CeeCee82 · August 2011

I think you make your children into what you want them to be. Maybe that's dumb but I worked in a preschool for several years and that's what it seems like to me. Kids are like sponges. And the one thing that really triggers them to be loud and annoying is lack of attention. Not all kids are little brats! Hopefully I'm right

babina868 · August 2011

heathergirl67:
I agree with the others. They're not born as 5 and 7 year olds. They start out a lot more lovable!

Agreed! I think you grow as a parent as your child grows.

Delta04 · August 2011

I have had those feelings before as well. But like others said, I firmly believe my lack of patience is due to the fact that they are not mine...at least that is what I keep telling myself... Tongue Tied

labdemon · August 2011

I think it can also be frustrating to spend that much time with other peoples' kids because, at least for me, it drives it home that they're NOT MY KIDS. I can't discipline them, I can't snuggle them when they cry, etc, etc, because they're not mine. It's exhausting!

When they're your own kids, the frustration with the bad behavior is balanced out by the sweet things they do.... random hugs and kisses, the cute things they say, the Mother's Day surprises, and all that business. So you get a better overall interaction with them than only seeing the sh!tty stuff for a few days!

You'll be a great Mom! And you'll have great kids, too

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