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July 2011 Moms
kelsgreeneyes
member
How to get over the guilt?
kelsgreeneyes
member
I was planning to breast feed DD from day one. She was having trouble latching in the hopsital and then when we came home. We had met with the lactation consultant numerous times and things eventually got better. Then the problem became me. I did not produce milk or much milk I guess I should say. I never felt full, sore, or got bigger. When I would pump I would get maybe 1 oz between both breasts.
I have a huge amount of guilt for not being able to give LO whats best for her. I know formula is full of nutrients and will give her what she needs. I just felt breastmilk was beast for her and her health.
Is anyone else going through this? How do you get past the guilt of having to formula feed when you had your heart set on breastfeeding?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How to get over the guilt?
DD1, Kathleen 9/15/2007
I'm going through it right now. I just keep telling myself that many other babies are formula fed and I gave it a shot. I feel like we are all pressured so much to give our LOs breast milk by ANY MEANS POSSIBLE. I truly wanted to BF and when I couldn't I tried EPing and both failed and now even people on facebook are commenting on pictures of him with a bottle of formula saying, "Oh, I thought you were breastfeeding." It's snarky and rude and makes me feel horrible but you know what, eff them.
Nobody is you. Nobody has had YOUR unique experience. So don't feel guilty because you know at least you tried and even sought help when you had failed.
She is definitely happy, healthy, and loved! I also tell myself many babies are formula fed and many babies are formula fed from day one. I know in time it will get better!
I wish women didn't feel guilt for doing what is best for them and their families.
You are doing the best you can. Just focus on that. Anyone who judges you doesn't really deserve to be in your life.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
Sorry to butt in, im a lurker from the 2010 July board. I had the same problem and with everything i did i still did not supply enough milk for DS so with guilt and all i formula feed him, he was happy, i was happy and the mosth important thing of all he was healthy and has been a very healthy baby. So just do what is best for you and baby and dont worry about what other people say, yes BM is best but if you cant do it then the best thing is formula. I got judged lot and got does funny looks when every one asked if i was bf, but u know what unless you are in that situation you wont understand and assume really quick that mom is just being lazy and dont want to try, that is far from the truth, i hope things keep on going well for you and your LO.
Butt out!
I don't have any advice, but I want you to know you are not alone... I also had difficulties breastfeeding. I've been pumping but am about to give that up because my supply is dropping. I feel awful for not being able to give LO what is best, especially since he'll be around all the germs at daycare shortly.
As others have said, just know that you did your best, and that formula will supply your LO with what he needs to grow up happy, healthy, and loved. ::hugs::
The important thing is you tried. BF is suppose to be something that happens naturally, but in reality doesn't always work that way.
Could you possibly try supplementing? If not like people have said, you have to do what works best for you and your family.
How long have you been trying?