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September 2011 Moms
jchristo3117
member
FTM Breastfeeding, DON"T GIVE UP
jchristo3117
member
Hey everyone! Just wanted to share my experience thus far with BF. I am a FTM to a one week old little girl and we are now pretty successful at BFing. Although I ALMOST gave up ! If you are committed to BFing but are having problems and feel like you want to give up, PLEASE DON"T. Here is my story...Day One- Sunday 7/31 at 7:26pm- Kendall Marie was born. I had her on my chest right away for about an hour. She latched to me right away and fed for a good 30 minutes. I was so happy!That night, she was brought to my room several times to feed (I had her sleep in the nursery). The nurses said to feed her every 2 to 3 hours. She wasn't latching on right away, which is very normal. I knew that this was going to be a learned process for both her and me. NBD. The nurse gave her a pacifier because she said Kendall just like to suck. (We no longer use the pacifier)The second time she was brought in that night, a nurse offered me a nipple shield and sugar water to help Kendall latch. We had only been trying to get her to latch for 5-10 minutes. Being a FTM and sleep deprived, I took them both and Kendall seemed to latch better. Day Two- Kendal did well latching to my breast, but would only do it with the nipple shield. I was worried that we were going to start a bad habit, but the nurses kept reassuring me that it was fine for her to use it AND the sugar water. She was spitting up quite a bit of colostrum. Day Three- Kendall continued to nurse using the shield. Nipples started to hurt. I started to research nipple shields online here...(https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/products-making-breast-feeding-easier/nipple-shields) and was surprised to find out that it WAS a bad habit to form (even though the nurses told me differently) At this point, I REALLY wanted to get rid of it, but knew that it would be very hard for Kendall to latch without it...Day Four-ENGORGEMENT! I had NO IDEA what to do once my breasts were engorged. That afternoon, it was so painful for her to latch and I couldn't even feed her using the shield. We resorted to a bottle of formula to get her to stop screaming. I was an emotional wreck. I felt like a bad mommy because I was being so stubborn about formula feeding, but also didn't want to give up the BF. I immediately called the OBGYN to see if they had suggestions. They told me to pump some of my milk off. That night I called my saving grace. Karen, a La Leche league leader in my area. She talked with me for about an hour and gave me helpful suggestions on how to get Kendall to latch. She said to get rid of the shield and spend some time skin to skin with her...She told me NOT to pump off milk (It will probably make my nipples even more sore, but to hand express the milk)
I spent the next 60-90 minutes with a screaming child on my chest trying to get her to latch. I would calm her down, put her to my breast and try again. I kept telling myself that maybe next time she would get it. I was NOT going to give up on my child. She FINALLY latched on, but it was pretty painful. Everything I read about BFing said that it shouldn't hurt. I didn't care, so I fed her through the pain and was just happy to see that she was getting food.We nursed like that the next couple of times....It was still pretty painful, so I called Karen again. She actually came to my house the next morning to watch me latch and to answer any questions. She told me to feed on demand and do a lot of small feedings so that Kendall isn't so hungry that she is sucking so hard it hurts. She had actually been latching on pretty well, but I didn't think it was right because it hurt. YES, it WILL be painful at first. Not toe curling pain, BUT it won't feel pleasant. That is ok and very normal! It WILL get better. That afternoon I spent another 45 minutes to an hour trying to get her to latch. I DIDN"T give up on her and she FINALLY latched. That night, she latched after 3 tries and has been latching pretty good ever since. (Although there are times when we still have our moments... :)Day Five- Had a meeting with the lactation consultant at the hospital and was thrilled to find out that Kendall had gained all but 2 oz. of her birth weight back. We both got an A+! Sorry so long, but the moral of the story is this...1. You NEED a GOOD support system when learning to BF. I don't know anyone who successfully BF. A lot of my friends gave it up for various reasons. I didn't really have anyone to turn to. Unforunately for me, the nurses at the hospital weren't experienced and I think actually hindered my ability to BF at first.. Go to a La Leche meeting in your area. I had went to only ONE meeting prior to giving birth and it helped me so much. I encourage anyone who wants to be a successful BFeeding to attend several meetings. I can honestly say that if I didn't have Karen's support, we wouldn't be BFing today. https://www.llli.org/2. Feed on Demand- watch for hunger cues BEFORE baby cries and they will latch on much better. Kendall doesn't throw up as much because she isn't forced to eat by a number on the clock.3. Don't Give Up- Feed through the pain. (Mine was about a 5 or 6 on the pain scale, it shouldn't put you in tears...If it does, then try to relatch. You may have to do this several times) Apply Lanolin cream or expressed milk to sore nipples after each feeding. The baby's mouth should be open VERY wide. It may take a long time for a baby to latch.... that is ok. You have all of the time in the world to teach her how to do this. 4. Don't try to latch baby onto an engorged breast, it won't work and will be painful. Hand express the milk before latching.5.Read about BFing and have a plan in mind before giving birth...I took a BF class. Well meaning nurses may offer support (nipple shields, sugar water, feeding on a schedule) but I wouldn't use them unless absolutely necessary. The advice you may receive at the hospital isn't gospel, so don't feel like you have to do what they tell you to do. Trust your OWN judgement. I wish I would have done that! I know this is a long story, but I am hoping that I can help anyone who may be at their wits end with BF. Good Luck and DON"T GIVE UP!!!!
I spent the next 60-90 minutes with a screaming child on my chest trying to get her to latch. I would calm her down, put her to my breast and try again. I kept telling myself that maybe next time she would get it. I was NOT going to give up on my child. She FINALLY latched on, but it was pretty painful. Everything I read about BFing said that it shouldn't hurt. I didn't care, so I fed her through the pain and was just happy to see that she was getting food.We nursed like that the next couple of times....It was still pretty painful, so I called Karen again. She actually came to my house the next morning to watch me latch and to answer any questions. She told me to feed on demand and do a lot of small feedings so that Kendall isn't so hungry that she is sucking so hard it hurts. She had actually been latching on pretty well, but I didn't think it was right because it hurt. YES, it WILL be painful at first. Not toe curling pain, BUT it won't feel pleasant. That is ok and very normal! It WILL get better. That afternoon I spent another 45 minutes to an hour trying to get her to latch. I DIDN"T give up on her and she FINALLY latched. That night, she latched after 3 tries and has been latching pretty good ever since. (Although there are times when we still have our moments... :)Day Five- Had a meeting with the lactation consultant at the hospital and was thrilled to find out that Kendall had gained all but 2 oz. of her birth weight back. We both got an A+! Sorry so long, but the moral of the story is this...1. You NEED a GOOD support system when learning to BF. I don't know anyone who successfully BF. A lot of my friends gave it up for various reasons. I didn't really have anyone to turn to. Unforunately for me, the nurses at the hospital weren't experienced and I think actually hindered my ability to BF at first.. Go to a La Leche meeting in your area. I had went to only ONE meeting prior to giving birth and it helped me so much. I encourage anyone who wants to be a successful BFeeding to attend several meetings. I can honestly say that if I didn't have Karen's support, we wouldn't be BFing today. https://www.llli.org/2. Feed on Demand- watch for hunger cues BEFORE baby cries and they will latch on much better. Kendall doesn't throw up as much because she isn't forced to eat by a number on the clock.3. Don't Give Up- Feed through the pain. (Mine was about a 5 or 6 on the pain scale, it shouldn't put you in tears...If it does, then try to relatch. You may have to do this several times) Apply Lanolin cream or expressed milk to sore nipples after each feeding. The baby's mouth should be open VERY wide. It may take a long time for a baby to latch.... that is ok. You have all of the time in the world to teach her how to do this. 4. Don't try to latch baby onto an engorged breast, it won't work and will be painful. Hand express the milk before latching.5.Read about BFing and have a plan in mind before giving birth...I took a BF class. Well meaning nurses may offer support (nipple shields, sugar water, feeding on a schedule) but I wouldn't use them unless absolutely necessary. The advice you may receive at the hospital isn't gospel, so don't feel like you have to do what they tell you to do. Trust your OWN judgement. I wish I would have done that! I know this is a long story, but I am hoping that I can help anyone who may be at their wits end with BF. Good Luck and DON"T GIVE UP!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FTM Breastfeeding, DON"T GIVE UP
Comment along the lines of Don't Give Up:
There is a lady at my bfing support group whose milk didn't come in until day nine.
Wow! Poor lady! She must have been beside herself. This is my worst nightmare. I'm convinced not going to have even enough colostrum and that I'll starve my baby.
Just remember that mantra when you get down the road...Don't give up.
I successfully BF my first two exclusively for the first 6 months (pumping and giving breast milk in bottles when I went back to work). I remember, with my first, freaking out because I didn't feel like I was making enough milk especially since I was pumping a lot of the time I knew exactly how much I was producing. It can be very discouraging but I didn't give up and am very proud of the fact that neither of my daughters had a drop of formula until after they turned 6 months. Not bad for a full time working mom, if you ask me.
We'll see how it goes with number three. I'm going to shoot for longer than 6 months this time, but with a 5 year old and 3 year old at home that may prove difficult.
Best of luck with the rest of the BFing journey!
Who cares what board it's on? I actually am really glad she posted here because it offers a lot of encouragement. I'm worried about successfully BFing so any support/inspiration that can come my way is greatly appreciated!
I'm not going to knock anyone coming in here to give some good, timely advice. I could see flaming her if she was coming here to stir shiit up, but I just can't see this as anything but helpful.
I had a very difficult time starting out bf-ing my DS1. Due to my getting sick (HELLPS) my milk didn't come in for almost a week & then we had latching problems. I did end up supplementing with formula so at least he was getting something. Everyone around me - docs/nurses at the hospital, my mother & MIL tried to talk me out of it & go the so called easy route. The only one I had in my corner was DH, thankfully!
But once we got it together it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I can't wait to bf this next baby!
Maybe she is trying to up post counts but who cares?
I'd like to think she is trying to help FTMs on a board thats coming very close to due dates. Her information is very useful, pertinent & positive!
I understand that it is sort of similar to the drive bys posted on TTGP, but the difference is telling people what worked in order to get pregnant isn't really tangible. No one really knows if it was the Preseed or the EOD sex or the flippin' green tea, so you can't really say what worked for you in that case and that's what offended people on TTGP.
Here though, when discussing breastfeeding you can instantly see if something you are trying is working or not - either the baby is now feeding or they are not. So even though it seems drive by-esque, I think it's different in this situation and I did like reading her advice too as a FTM who has no clue what I'm about to attempt to do.
Just my two cents!
ETA: And I didn't go look at how many boards she'd posted this on, so she very well may be just trying to up her post counts. But that doesn't bother me as much since she did seem to have good advice!
No war, I agree! It's NBD.
I had flat nipples and they are the only thing that worked. We used them exclusively for 4 months until one day DS just went for it without it and we never looked back. It never affected my supply and we BF for 15 months... Had I been told not to use it or been made to feel bad for having to do so it would have caused a great deal of stress and maybe even wouldn't have worked for us. Lifesaver for me and I would encourage any FTM to try them before giving up.
Thank you! this helps me out a lot because my friend got me a set of shields for my baby shower and I honestly had no clue they even existed, but she told me that I may need them. I am trying to be opened minded when it comes to anything about BF as I have never done it before and common sense tells you that it is going to be hard.
I used a shield the entire time I breast fed. Justin would NOT latch to my nipple for anything. The shield was my savior.
Feeding on demand is important because the baby determines your supply, based on his needs.
I am not saying one way or another is right or wrong, but I think you should have an open mind about on demand feeding, as you may find you have more trouble with latching, fussiness and supply if you try to adhere a newborn to a schedule.
For the first few weeks, it's certainly best for your milk supply, and in turn, your baby. If I recall correctly, Baby Wise doesn't even push a "schedule" for at least 8 weeks.
My SIL tried to feed on a schedule from the beginning. When her baby had barely gained any weight at her 1 month appointment, the pedi gave her a huge lecture about how feeding on a schedule benefits no one but mom, and she was doing her baby no favors at all.
Feeding on demand is NOT fun...but it really is what's best for baby in the beginning. Once they're past the newborn stage, then start moving toward a routine or schedule. But for the first few weeks, I highly suggest trying to feed on demand.
glad i could be of some help to some of you. i dont know what a drive by post even is and figured i would post this on multiple boards since i put so much effort into writing my story. plus i figured that some of you who werent due for a couple of weeks could maybe check into going to a la leche meeting before birth. (sorry the link didnt work, contrary to what some of u think, i am not on the bump very often...infact i dont even know how to post a baby age tracker/sig?)
i didnt mean to knock the use of nipple shields...i just felt that they were introduced to me way too early before i had even worked with my lo to latch. i just felt that it made the nurses job easier because she didnt have to take the time to work with me and my lo to latch...
thats all for now, i promise this will be my last post on the september board
don't sweat it. you can post here if you want. Nobody owns these boards. Well, I take that back-- I suppose some giant corporation technically owns these boards-- but no posters have any particular claim over it. I find it really helpful to hear others' perspectives, especially new FTMs, particularly BECAUSE everybody has different experience, and you never know which stories will end up resonating with you. And congrats on getting through the BFing challenges.
As for posting just to up one's post count, I'm a little confused why anyone would do that. Why would anyone care how many post counts they have?
No worries hun! I enjoyed hearing your story and what worked for you. Thanks for posting it!