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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Whats something you wish someone had done for you?
Hello ladies! I do not have children yet, but my sister in law just had her baby this past week. She is having a really hard time adjusting. The baby is not sleeping, and he is not eating very well. Also I believe her hormones are still a little wacky.
I was just wanting some ideas on what I could do for her that would help her out? Like I said I don't have children yet so I don't know what someone with a new baby would need. What is something that you wish someone had done for you with a new baby?
TIA
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Re: Whats something you wish someone had done for you?
Thats what I was thinking but the ladies from our church have already got them fed for the next two weeks.
Any other suggestions?
My MIL comes over a few times per week and rocks my kid so I nap, shower, run errands, cook, clean in peace.
I know lots of bumpies hate the baby holder type of visitors but I rather love and so does my sanity. Doing normal things is good for me and to be honest while I'd never say anything to those being helpful I'm a bit fussy about how things are done in my house, so I prefer to do it myself.
Just ask and see what she says, everyone is different.
Food is always welcome! And ditto the dog suggestion. Also you can do some simple cleaning like sweeping/vacuuming, wiping down counters, so you're not handling her underwear (if she's private).
And ditto just holding the baby so she can take a nap. As soon as she has fed the baby, take the LO and force her to go lie down. Tell her you'll call her when it's time for baby to eat again. Let her get at least an hour or so of rest if possible, even if she doesn't sleep.
Offer to go to the store for her if she needs anything. She may run out of maxi pads or some other things, or just be craving ice cream and chocolate sauce.
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Food is ALWAYS welcome! Bring over breakfast food! We also had someone do that for us and it was so nice since dinners were already covered. Bagels, banana bread, dougnuts, etc. If she's a private person she may not want someone cleaning her house. I know I would decline anyone coming over to clean. I like my own space (especially when things are hectic) and would not be crazy about someone coming over to do that....just something to think about.
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I really like the taking care of pets idea. Walk the dogs, completely change the pan of kitty litter/ bedding of hamster cage/ whatever it may be.
Ask if she needs help with groceries- she can give you a list and money and send you off. Or you can go together so she doesn't have to try to push and fill a cart and carry a car seat in, etc. I still find it hard to grocery shop by myself. If her baby gets fussy you can keep an eye on her stuff while she feeds/ changes them. Yes, she'll have to do those things by herself soon but it really helped when I had my mom here to push DD in her stroller while I grocery shopped.
These are all really great ideas!! Thank you so much!
Her husband will go back to work tomorrow so she will be alone with the baby all day, so I think I will offer to watch him while she sleeps or takes a shower, and then maybe while she is resting I can do some little cleaning for her. DH and I live in the apartment next to them so I could even bring the baby her that way she won't get up every time she hears him cry. Thanks again ladies!
Oh I could compile a list a mile long... Cleaning, esp maybe helping out with laundry, coming over just to give her some adult interaction. Maybe offer to watch LO while she gets a nap and takes a shower (the real kind of shower where she can do her hair and makeup afterwords). Offer to get groceries, even if meals are being provided, they may need things like milk, snacks, etc. Anything will help.
That sounds AAA-mazing! Want to come to my house next??
SNACK BAG!
With BFing and baby juggling, I never have time to eat and I'm always hungry-- The meals my mother left went fast and took time to prep, but all day long I'm snacking and a big bag of her favorite snacks would be awesome!!
Ditto on the baby watching so you can nap!
The most helpful thing so far was when one of DH's aunts came to visit for the weekend. She held DD for me and entertained her while I napped. She would bring her into my bedroom when she was hungry and I would breastfeed her, then she would take her back out so I could continue sleeping. One morning while DD and I were still asleep, she went grocery shopping and stocked my fridge. She cooked dinner for us on her last night before she left. It was just AWESOME to have her over for the weekend. She was like the baby whisperer or something!
I think if you can cook a meal, clean all or part of her home for her, entertain the baby for her while she naps - any of that would be a huge help!
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
Make or bring diner
offer to do some laundry/and or other cleaning like bottle washing/dishes.
offer to give Mom a break so she can nap, while you sit with baby
Im sure she will be very grateful!!
This is a great suggestion! I was so appreciative of the ladies from church who brought food for the first two weeks, but they tended to stay and chat. If you go over to bring food or to clean, keep in mind that she's probably stressed out from baby and doesn't want to worry about having to feed the baby or try to work in a nap with a guest over!
Also, if I had had someone to take DD for a couple of hours during the day so that I could nap, that would've been incredible. You could watch the baby between feedings (if she's BF), and I'm sure she'd be grateful.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
This is an awesome idea! I know that I struggle to eat enough healthy snack during the day. Too often, I grab a sugary granola bar or crackers just 'cause they're the easiest.
As for meals, if the church ladies have the first couple weeks covered, bring her a couple meals that can go in the freezer for later. I spent a couple months stocking our freezer & it's been fantastic! The food deliveries will stop after a couple weeks, but she still won't have time to cook, especially if she's BF-ing.
Even if she's too private to consent to full house-cleaning, little chores can help out. Every time she comes over, my mom empties my dishwasher, refills it and washes any other dishes sitting out. It's so simple, but makes my life easier.