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3rd Trimester
Not ready at all help long rant.
Aside from not even having the nursery ready yet with less than a month to go I am not ready in other areas as well. I haven't gotten a shower so the purchasing of items is up to me and my boyfriend. I ask him to drive me places to buy a few things but he is either lazy or it is his weekend with his other kids. They are happy about LO arriving and always offer to help me go shopping but it seems so daunting to do it with just them and without his help. I still need a bassinet and a crib. I also need a rocking chair and who knows what else. I am an FTM so I am sure there are so many other things that I need and I don't really know what they are. I want to try all that I can to EBF with a breast pump to take care of the meals while I go back to work. My boyfriend has given me flack for that too saying he would be grossed out giving her my expelled milk. Now I am filled with this axiety about what I still need to get for her arrival. I am 36wks and some days. It is getting down to the wire and I am afraid I will be ill prepared once she is her. I looked online for items I need but it is not easy finding them where I live at even though I am in a big city. Plus so many different sites say you need this or that and I wonder what are really needed or what are just a waste of money and we can do without? Could anyone tell me what I still need to get for her which is pretty much everything. What are some items you got from your shower that are going to be useful for your LO? As this process becomes a reality I am becoming more stressed out and feeling like a bad mother to be. TIA for any advice or opinions you have. 
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Re: Not ready at all help long rant.
I'm a FTM to but I wanted to give you the idea of ordering some of this stuff online if you are having a hard time getting him to go shopping with you. A lot of places will do free shipping if your order is over a certain $ amount. You can get the big items like the crib and rocking chair and bassinet that way.
Other than that all I can say is think about what you will be doing with your little one on a daily/weekly basis.....sleeping, eating, playing, bathing......so get the essentials for those tasks and then play it by ear from there?
And tell your BF that he is a wuss if he feels weird giving the baby a bottle with your milk in it. I don't see how it would be any different than using milk from a cow??? Maybe get him to watch a quick video on the internet that explains the benefits of breastfeeding. (notice I did not recommend getting him a book that he would most likely never read lol).
First off... :hugs: I'm sorry you're in this situation without the support of your boyfriend. He needs a reality check: like it or not, he's about to have another child to care for. In fact, he has another child that needs his care *right now* and needs to man up to that. I would lay out your expectations to him in no uncertain terms: he needs to help. There are things you need for the baby, and he's just as much a part of this as you are (or at least, he should be). AFA what you need, don't panic! Here's what I'd suggest:
Crib
Pack n Play with bassinet top (kill 2 birds with one stone)
Swing or Rock n Play Sleeper
Stroller and car seat (travel system or separate)
(Try finding the big stuff on Craigslist if you can! That will save lots of $.)
Several packs of diapers, size 1 (you can get newborns from the hospital, then send out your bf for more if baby fits into those for awhile)
A rocking chair is nice, but fwiw, I rarely used mine with either of my two kids, so if money is at all a concern, I'd wait on that particular purchase
5-10 receiving blankets
10 onesies in 0-3mo size
10 lightweight sleepers in 0-3mo
10 baby outfits in 0-3mo
(You can save money on all those things by checking out Once Upon a Child or other consignment stores for good quality, used items.)
Several different types of bottles so you can see what baby likes
Breast pads and lanolin cream
Breastmilk storage bags or containers since you're planning to pump
That should get you through the first few weeks until you have a better idea of what you will need and use with your daughter.
AFA your boyfriend being "grossed out" by breastmilk, whatever. He needs to grow up. He probably drinks cow's milk himself, for goodness sake, meaning he has no problem consuming juice squeezed from a dirty barnyard animal, but won't even handle the milk produced by his child's mother? Does he know the benefits of his child receiving breastmilk, as well as how much money it will save him to have you do the hard work of pumping milk for her? Sounds like he needs to take a class at the hospital about caring for a baby, regardless of the fact that he has other kids. You are NOT a bad mother to be. This is a time when you need love and support from the people around you and it sounds like your boyfriend is failing to provide that quality. That does NOT reflect on you as a mom. You will do great!
Your baby needs a few outfits, carseat, place to sleep, diapers/wipes, and thats about it for the first few weeks. You can get the stroller, packnplay, toys, etc. after birth if you are behind or too stressed. A lot of other items are best purchased at garage sales anyway.
Additional items I am/have purchased in advance for my comfort are a baby bath tub, towels, tummy time mat, boppy, breast pump, breast cream, breast pads, breast feeding nightgown, baby medicine travel kit which includes a sample size of almost anything you would need, organic baby wash products, musical toy.
That pretty much covers the bulk of my registry. I added a few fun things to my registry because I didn't want my shower guests to feel like they couldn't buy me something fun instead of something practical. But if I don't get the toys and stuff, its not like my newborn will really notice.
Marshalls and Burlington Coat Factory (with a baby depot) are great places to shop for discounted prices on clothes and toys. I bought my breast pump at BCF yesterday and with a coupon saved about $120. I also bought a packnplay/bassinet/changing table in one for cheap.
If your too stressed, then shop online and have everything delivered to you. It may cost a little more, but it will avoid conflict between you and what seems to be your less-than-understanding husband.
I am a FTM and www.lucieslist.com has been a lifesaver!
Medela Pump in Style.
And why can't you shop without your boyfriend? My DH doesn't care so much for baby shopping so I go alone, with a friend or mom.
I'm a big fan of the Lucie's List website for making sense of what you really need to get. (https://www.lucieslist.com/) As a FTM, I've found it really helpful.
Also, I would encourage you considering shopping off Amazon. Their prices are reasonable on most things and I found enrolling in Amazon Prime was totally worth it for the savings in shipping and two-day delivery on most items. (Moreover, I think when you enroll in the Amazon Mom's program, it gives you three month's free Amazon Prime.)
Good luck!
I love love love my Lansinoh double pump. It served me well for over 10 months when I exclusively pumped for DD. If you are going to look at them used look for either a Lansinoh or an Ameda. They are the only consumer grade pumps that are closed systems.
GL sound slike you have your hands full, take it one day at a time and make yourself a list and just start whittling away at it.
Hope it all works out for you.
If your boyfriend is grossed out by breast milk you should totally let him know that eggs are not 'baby chickens'.. but chicken embryos... basically the same as our monthly period.
Though make him some egg salad first, and wait until he is in the middle of eating it