2nd+ timers--A sleep survey

brit072206 · August 2011

So I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" and feel like the format made it hard for me to digest all of the information. I wish it had been organized by LO's age. I could have wrapped my head around that. Anyway, so I thought I would make a FAQ survey to refer to in a very, very short time!

Please answer all questions with the newborn stage in mind (0-3 months):

1. Do you recommend any books or websites that address sleep habits of newborns?

2. In the newborn stage, is all sleep good sleep? By that I mean, is sleeping in the swing for an hour just as good as sleeping in bed or sleeping in the car seat? Or is it important to establish "sleep spots" so to speak from day 1?

3. Should any attempts be made (at this age) to get LO on a STTN pattern? I've heard a couple things, like feeding frequently throughout the day and/or having clustered feedings just before nighttime. I've also heard of the idea of making nighttime sleep in bed, quiet, no playing during feedings/changings, etc. while making daytime sleeping in more active parts of the house, with lights on, etc. to encourage more restful sleep at night. But I don't know if this is a bunch of nonsense or what.

4. What routines (if any) do you find to be helpful in getting newborns to sleep well? (ie pacifier, swaddling, etc)

5. Is it true that newborns don't know how to fall asleep? If so, what techniques have you used? (ie shhhhing, patting, etc)

5. Being completely honest--is this survey just a waste of time? By that, I mean, are there not really any hard and fast rules when it comes to newborns and sleeping, and the baby will determine what happens?

6. What's the best piece of advice you can give regarding sleep and newborns?

7. What's a piece of advice that you heard that you found to be completely inaccurate?

TheFannins729 · August 2011

instead of going one by one, i'm just going to say to listen to cues from your newborn. they aren't old enough to sleep train, they may or may not sttn (both are normal) and I really don't think you can get them on a set schedule until later (other than we sorta did sleep, eat, play around 2ish months). If they want to sleep, let them sleep. I wouldn't wake a sleeping baby just to keep them on a schedule, in other words. we did everything "on demand" and he was sttn at 8 weeks, so that is what worked for us. doesn't work for everyone. and may not with this one. and that's all ok. I don't remember doing anything to make them/help them fall asleep.

Lissa832 · August 2011

In my experience, newborns can and will sleep anywhere, and it is all good sleep. As they get older, that is not necessarily the case. I think the best advice I can give is start a routine from day one. You cannot put a newborn on a schedule, but you can begin to plant the seed for one. For example, with DS, we started a bedtime routine from day one. Bath, bottle, bed. We did this every single day, and as he got older, he expected it which made getting him to bed much easier. Also, be flexible. Adjustments will have to be made along the way. In the beginning, DS would only wake up to eat, then it was right back to sleep. Then it was being up for 45 minutes, one hour, 90 minutes, etc. Follow their cues and make adjustments accordingly.

chargermama · August 2011

1. Do you recommend any books or websites that address sleep habits of newborns? There is no way to train a newborn. My best advice is try at this stage to get them used to the 24 clock. Try to have them awake more in the daytime so they sleep at night

2. In the newborn stage, is all sleep good sleep? By that I mean, is sleeping in the swing for an hour just as good as sleeping in bed or sleeping in the car seat? Or is it important to establish "sleep spots" so to speak from day 1? Any sleep is good sleep. And most newborns will sleep anywhere with any type of noise

3. Should any attempts be made (at this age) to get LO on a STTN pattern? I've heard a couple things, like feeding frequently throughout the day and/or having clustered feedings just before nighttime. I've also heard of the idea of making nighttime sleep in bed, quiet, no playing during feedings/changings, etc. while making daytime sleeping in more active parts of the house, with lights on, etc. to encourage more restful sleep at night. But I don't know if this is a bunch of nonsense or what. Babies are just not big enough at this stage to STTN. Especially if they are BFed they will require feedings more frequently. But I agree don't wake a sleeping baby to eat. They will wake up when they are hungry.

4. What routines (if any) do you find to be helpful in getting newborns to sleep well? (ie pacifier, swaddling, etc) I really liked the book you referenced b/c it worked for us. The whole, swaddle, sway, etc. We had a bedtime routine from the start. meal, a little cuddle time, a bath, another meal, a song or story and then sleep.

5. Is it true that newborns don't know how to fall asleep? If so, what techniques have you used? (ie shhhhing, patting, etc) I don't buy into this theory

6. Being completely honest--is this survey just a waste of time? By that, I mean, are there not really any hard and fast rules when it comes to newborns and sleeping, and the baby will determine what happens? All babies are different. This is not a waste because any tips or pointers can always help

7. What's the best piece of advice you can give regarding sleep and newborns? Swaddle and swaddle and swaddle. Try to relax because if you are a hot mess of tension the baby will feed off that. There is not a high likelihood that you will get a full night's sleep for several months so just go with the flow

8. What's a piece of advice that you heard that you found to be completely inaccurate? That babies can be sleep trained starting at 6 weeks - that a bunch of poppycock

Mereou12 · August 2011

1. Do you recommend any books or websites that address sleep habits of newborns? I read The Baby Whisper and Baby Wise. I was not a fan of Baby Wise at all. I felt that they pushed CIO far too early. I loosely followed the EASY method discussed in the Baby Whisperer, but didn't do it to a tee. I also got a TON of sleep info from fellow bumpies.

2. In the newborn stage, is all sleep good sleep? By that I mean, is sleeping in the swing for an hour just as good as sleeping in bed or sleeping in the car seat? Or is it important to establish "sleep spots" so to speak from day 1? You'd never get to leave your house if you want your newborn to only ever sleep in the crib. And many babies simply WON'T sleep where you want them to. DS napped exclusively in my arms or the swing for almost 4 months...and believe me, I tried EVERYTHING to get him to nap in his crib.

3. Should any attempts be made (at this age) to get LO on a STTN pattern? I've heard a couple things, like feeding frequently throughout the day and/or having clustered feedings just before nighttime. I've also heard of the idea of making nighttime sleep in bed, quiet, no playing during feedings/changings, etc. while making daytime sleeping in more active parts of the house, with lights on, etc. to encourage more restful sleep at night. But I don't know if this is a bunch of nonsense or what. Simply put, no. Newborns aren't designed to STTN, and you shouldn't expect them to. Making routines before bedtime is definitely a good plan for healthy sleep habits, and after a short while they'll start sleeping longer stretches at night naturally....but you shouldn't do it to try to force them to STTN. Some babies will do it on their own, others won't. Every kid is different.

4. What routines (if any) do you find to be helpful in getting newborns to sleep well? (ie pacifier, swaddling, etc) We swaddled (MIRACLE BLANKET! The Swaddle Mes with velcro were worthless for us) and used a pacifier. DS wouldn't sleep flat on his back for well over a month, though. So he'd often end up in the bouncer at night....or in the swing...anywhere that would get us more than 30 minutes of snooze time!

5. Is it true that newborns don't know how to fall asleep? If so, what techniques have you used? (ie shhhhing, patting, etc) The 5 S's of Happiest Baby On The Block are great. DS loved really loud white noise -- we went through a period where the only way he'd fall asleep for a nap was if I ran the vacuum cleaner around him in the swing.

5. Being completely honest--is this survey just a waste of time? By that, I mean, are there not really any hard and fast rules when it comes to newborns and sleeping, and the baby will determine what happens? It's not a waste of time, as it's important to get as much info as possible to prepare yourself...but know that every baby is different. Some babies are naturally great sleepers, others aren't. And even for me as a BTDT mom, I don't expect my next little guy to be the same as DS1.....because every baby truly is different.

6. What's the best piece of advice you can give regarding sleep and newborns? Routine, routine, routine. It's pretty irrelevent for the first month or two, but as soon as your LO starts falling into a routine naturally, stick with it. I live and die by my DS's naptime, because our life is hellacious if his schedule gets thrown off. But he now sleeps beautifully at night and for naps, and I attribute that to my adherence to our routine.

7. What's a piece of advice that you heard that you found to be completely inaccurate? Putting rice cereal in bottles or giving formula DOES NOT make a baby sleep longer. Total myth.

meredith anastasia · August 2011

1. Do you recommend any books or websites that address sleep habits of newborns?

Ferber is a really good book, it's not just about CIO. It has a lot of helpful information about sleep cycles for babies, toddler and kids/teenagers. Gave a lot of insight.

2. In the newborn stage, is all sleep good sleep? By that I mean, is sleeping in the swing for an hour just as good as sleeping in bed or sleeping in the car seat? Or is it important to establish "sleep spots" so to speak from day 1?

I firmly believe (from the experience with my son) that sleep begets sleep. So, if your baby will sleep for a few hours in their carseat or swing, go for it, since it might help them fall asleep later. An overtired baby has a REALLY hard time winding down to go to sleep, so for the newborn stage (and up to about 3 months or so) I say go for sleep any way you can get it. Besides, you need sleep to rest and if you're BFing, supply can dip a bit if you're exhausted, so do what you need to do to get some sleep, as long as its safe for everyone. Worry about sleep associations later (6+ months).

3. Should any attempts be made (at this age) to get LO on a STTN pattern? I've heard a couple things, like feeding frequently throughout the day and/or having clustered feedings just before nighttime. I've also heard of the idea of making nighttime sleep in bed, quiet, no playing during feedings/changings, etc. while making daytime sleeping in more active parts of the house, with lights on, etc. to encourage more restful sleep at night. But I don't know if this is a bunch of nonsense or what.

I think in general the nighttime wakings should be kept really mellow, to help baby learn day from night. Lights off, no playing, just up to feed, change, back to bed. I don't know about daytime sleep with lights on in active parts of the house, that sounds like you're going to make it harder than it needs to be to get baby down for a nap. I'd aim to expose baby to sunlight during the day since that naturally helps them understand the day/night differentiation, and keep nighttime stuff really calming.

4. What routines (if any) do you find to be helpful in getting newborns to sleep well? (ie pacifier, swaddling, etc)

We swaddled from the beginning and DS loved it, but not every baby does. We didn't introduce a pacifier until 5 weeks because I was BFing and didn't want to cause any confusion. DS was in his own bedroom, swaddled and with a paci, but honestly you will just have to see what works for you and your baby.

5. Is it true that newborns don't know how to fall asleep? If so, what techniques have you used? (ie shhhhing, patting, etc)

The 5 S's, from Happiest Baby on the Block are a lifesaver. Check it out for sure. And yes, it is true that they don't always know - and it's not like if they just get tired enough they'll pass out. My experience was that he'd just get more and more worked up the more tired he got, and it was really hard to get him to sleep if he passed that optimal awake time.

5. Being completely honest--is this survey just a waste of time? By that, I mean, are there not really any hard and fast rules when it comes to newborns and sleeping, and the baby will determine what happens?

I think it's good to be informed about what worked for other people, and to read up on this stuff before hand so you're not trying to digest information when you're exhausted and LO is screaming, but so much of it is baby dependent, and you really have to be ready to go with the flow. Might mean driving around the block to get baby to sleep, might mean sleeping in a swing or carseat, you really can't predict.

6. What's the best piece of advice you can give regarding sleep and newborns?

Like I said above, sleep begets sleep. If you notice baby is sleeping a lot during the day one day, don't be paranoid that they won't sleep at all that night. It could mean the opposite - they're going to go down even easier during the night because they're rested and a rested baby can put themselves to sleep and stay asleep so much easier than an overtired, over-stimulated baby. In our house, we don't wake a sleeping baby. (well, not a newborn - we did just transition my son to 1 nap a day from 2, so we were making his morning nap shorter and shorter, but that's a different scenario).

7. What's a piece of advice that you heard that you found to be completely inaccurate?

Hmm, I don't know, I guess there's sleep tips out there that didn't work for me, but I chalked that up to the fact that they probably work for a different baby, just not mine. I don't think there's hard and fast LIES about baby sleep, just differences of opinion and different babies that need different things.

kenandlaura06 · August 2011

Lots of good advice already here and I just wanted to emphasize a few of the points. Don't worry too much about sleep patterns/training early on, but do yourself a favor and set up good habits by keeping things louder and brighter during the daytime and quiet and dark at night.

Also, in my experience sleep does really beget sleep, so wherever your baby will nap in those first few months (mine would only nap in the swing at first) let it and you will eventually have better sleep at night, as well.

babyAutumn · August 2011

1. Do you recommend any books or websites that address sleep habits of newborns? Secrets of the baby whisperer by Tracy Hogg

2. In the newborn stage, is all sleep good sleep? By that I mean, is sleeping in the swing for an hour just as good as sleeping in bed or sleeping in the car seat? Or is it important to establish "sleep spots" so to speak from day 1? Newborns get better and deeper sleep when they are not moving. So when they sleep in a swing, the sleep is not as restorative as when they are in a crib or other stationary object. I don't necessarily think that they have to sleep in the same spot from day one. My kids would fall asleep in the swing and I would just turn it off. If they fell asleep in the stroller, I would just sit under some shade in the yard until they woke up. From what I understand the fact that they are sleeping without moving is what's most important.

3. Should any attempts be made (at this age) to get LO on a STTN pattern? I've heard a couple things, like feeding frequently throughout the day and/or having clustered feedings just before nighttime. I've also heard of the idea of making nighttime sleep in bed, quiet, no playing during feedings/changings, etc. while making daytime sleeping in more active parts of the house, with lights on, etc. to encourage more restful sleep at night. But I don't know if this is a bunch of nonsense or what. I found the book mentioned above really good for answering that question. The author helps you understand the structure of a baby's day so that you can better adapt to them. I did find that cluster feedings helped between 8 and 11 but not until my kids were almost 4 months old. Until then I don't think that their tummy's could intake enough food to sustain them for 10 hours. When we change and feed baby at night, we do it with a nightlight so as not to fully awaken the baby.

4. What routines (if any) do you find to be helpful in getting newborns to sleep well? (ie pacifier, swaddling, etc) I always followed the same routine from day 1 (for nightime sleep)...bath with Johnson's Nighttime Bath (lavender scented), story and nursing. They always fell asleep nursing and I didn't really worry too much about it until they had teeth.

5. Is it true that newborns don't know how to fall asleep? If so, what techniques have you used? (ie shhhhing, patting, etc) I sometimes rocked them but most of the time, I would just place them in their crib and they would fall asleep on their own. DS sometimes had a harder time falling asleep so I would just stroke his forehead and sing softly and that seemed to do the trick. He still has a harder time falling asleep than DD and he's 4yo.

5. Being completely honest--is this survey just a waste of time? By that, I mean, are there not really any hard and fast rules when it comes to newborns and sleeping, and the baby will determine what happens? As long as you're open to letting baby set the pace for the day then a routine will just fall into place. I found that when I tried to set the routine it didn't work quite as well which was a little tougher once I had 2u2. The baby whisperer suggests the E.A.S.Y. method (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You) and it worked really well for me.

6. What's the best piece of advice you can give regarding sleep and newborns? Go with their flow and when frustrated make sure to have a really good pair of headphones on hand Wink

. I remember when DD was a week old she cried for 6 hours straight every night until she was 3 weeks old. I would get so frustrated. No matter what I did (rock, bounce, sing, shush...) nothing seemed to help. So DH one night brought in his recording headphones and placed them on my ears. I thought he was crazy but in the end it's what kept me sane on those long crying periods.

7. What's a piece of advice that you heard that you found to be completely inaccurate? Don't hold the baby to help her fall asleep, she'll always need it because she'll get too used to it. Never let the baby fall asleep when nursing or that will be the only way they will ever be able to fall asleep. I also hated the Ferber method. It seemed to make it worse each time we went back into the baby's room but that was just when they were a bit older (6 months or so).

lmjt · August 2011

I think its most important to just follow your baby's cues at the beginning. If he's sleeping, let him sleep. Its ok if he falls asleep in the swing or the car, or your arms. Just let him sleep. He will wake up when he needs to eat on his own.

We aren't routine people, so we didn't have a specific routine when J was small. We just went with what he needed, and we sleep trained at 5 months under the advice of our pedi. I wouldn't worry about sleep training and routines as much until around that age. Until then, its all delirium.

KAK ;-> · August 2011

You've gotten a lot of great feed back. I only have a couple of tidbits.

1. Don't worry about the first couple of months - do what works for your family so that you are as well rested as possible.

I swore that I would never bed share. My DD was sleeping with me by the first night because that was the only place she would sleep. I was humbled right away. She is a well adjusted and very independent child and has been all along. She still likes to sleep with me sometimes, especially if I am working a lot.

I know other babies that went straight to the crib with no problems. Kids have different needs.

2. Please don't let your baby sleep in the car seat when not in the car.

Sleeping in the car seat could keep the baby from getting enough oxygen because of chest compression. The 45 degree angle that seats are supposed to have when installed in the car is to reduce this compression.

I also recommend getting as much sleep as you can before LO gets here! That's hard to do when you're peeing every hour. Stick out tongue

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