Community› The Bump Month Clubs› February 2011 Moms
February 2011 Moms
New Discussion

MIL issue

Sweetbay505Sweetbay505
in February 2011 Moms

Hi ladies,

I'm usually more of a lurker but I could really use opinions from other moms on this one!  My MIL is really possessive of DS when I'm around her.  She sees him every day because our nanny watches him at her house (long story, but can't change the situation).  She works shorter days than I do so she's always home when I drop him off and home before I get there to pick him up.  I'd guess she sees him for 30 minutes every morning and 30 minutes every afternoon.  Every afternoon when I get there she is hanging out with him and the nanny is doing other things (cleaning up, etc).  The weird thing is, she doesn't want to hand him over to me!  She makes this really obvious, to the point my SIL has spoken up and said "Let her see the baby!  She hasn't seen him all day!"  Yesterday I took him from her, after she turned away the first time I reached for him, but she just followed me into the kitchen and literally pulled him back out of my arms.  I was waiting for DH to talk to his dad so it's not like I needed my hands free to do anything right then.

This probably happens 3 times per week.  It's really awkward every time she does it, but I just have no idea what to say.  DH offered to talk to her, but I don't even know how to approach it.  Also, am I being weird and jealous?  I am having a really hard time being a working mom right now, so maybe my own issues are just making me more annoyed than I should be by this.  What do you think?  Is it worth saying something?

Report Reply to Post

Re: MIL issue

  • Jacqui105Jacqui105 member
    I would be very firm with her. I am a pretty passive person but I am learning to fight for what is best for me and my child in these situations. I would rip my baby out of her arms and hold on tight so she cant get her back! When she tries to avoid letting go of baby I would do whatever it takes to grab onto my baby, look her right in the eyes and say "give me MY child." Hopefully she will get the hint. After that, I probably would have DH talk to her, since it is his mom. Especially because Im sure she will make comments, etc when you put your foot down. But I think grandparents just have a hard time with boundaries and she will walk all over you if you dont make them clear and stick to them. Its really hard to do though. I was always worrying about their feelings, until I realized they sure weren't worrying about mine! So I guess what I mean is I think you are right to be bothered by her and something should be said!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Sleep2LiveSleep2Live member

    I've learned with my own mom that if I don't put my foot down, it just gets WORSE.  Now I just have to give her a look when she's overstepping, and she realizes what she's done and backs off.

    Like the PP, I'm a very passive person, especially when it comes to my mom, so it took me a really long time to learn to do this, but it's well worth it because it totally reduces the resentment when I feel like my mom is trying to parent MY children. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • LilleybugLilleybug member
    My ILs do this too. I finally just let it go. They are excited to see the baby and feel we see him all the time. It bothered me at first (sometimes they wont even let us hold him for family photos) but I am over it.
    image     image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

                                         image    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"