first timers- have you thought about a will yet?

iluvmylab · August 2011

I know none of us like to think about this....

DH and I don't have one because we don't have anything, HA! Except for our dog of course, which would go to my mom. We could care less about our other stuff. We don't have a lawyer because we've never needed one, so how do we go about doing this? I know my work has a legal club, but I am not a member and it's too late to join.

Chargersgrl33 · August 2011

DH and I have wills. I make DH go update his each time he deploys too. When I first deployed to Iraq in 06 I had a will, it was just a general one that didn't state much other than who got all of my belongings if something were to happen.

I always reccomend people have a will, no matter the situation. Once Wyatt is born we will be going back to the legal office to update everything. It's a must!

uncharch7 · August 2011

we don't, but we need to get one. we also need to get more life insurance for DH. i believe i have access to the will part through work, but i need to check again.

this whole being an adult thing sucks sometimes!

heuy · August 2011

Yes! Creating a will has been weighing heavily on my mind. At the very least I'm going to create a will for myself outlining what I'd prefer if I die giving birth. We will definitely, if not before, shortly after babe, be spelling out our assets and who gets the kidlet (I don't want the inlaws raising my kid!}

iluvmylab · August 2011

heuy:
Yes! Creating a will has been weighing heavily on my mind. At the very least I'm going to create a will for myself outlining what I'd prefer if I die giving birth. We will definitely, if not before, shortly after babe, be spelling out our assets and who gets the kidlet (I don't want the inlaws raising my kid!}

I know this sounds awful, but neither do I. My DHs family doesn't have the same sense of family that my side does. We see his brother and 3 boys once every 1 or two years or so and they are only 5 hours away. He's a teacher and gets lots of time off, so there's no reason we can't see them more often. DHs mom has to take care of his stepdad and has no family other than her sons. So no aunts, uncles, or cousins on his side at all. That just bothers me for some reason.

Plus, I want our son to be raised with religion and none of DHs family does any kind of church.

heuy · August 2011

iluvmylab:
heuy:
Yes! Creating a will has been weighing heavily on my mind. At the very least I'm going to create a will for myself outlining what I'd prefer if I die giving birth. We will definitely, if not before, shortly after babe, be spelling out our assets and who gets the kidlet (I don't want the inlaws raising my kid!}

I know this sounds awful, but neither do I. My DHs family doesn't have the same sense of family that my side does. We see his brother and 3 boys once every 1 or two years or so and they are only 5 hours away. He's a teacher and gets lots of time off, so there's no reason we can't see them more often. DHs mom has to take care of his stepdad and has no family other than her sons. So no aunts, uncles, or cousins on his side at all. That just bothers me for some reason.

You have to go with your gut on this....it's your baby! My inlaws aren't bad....but they're almost 10 years older than my parents and I know my parents can provide better opportunities. {Plus: my mom's nursery is decked out more than mine at this point!}

Ricola · August 2011

https://www.free-legal-document.com/how-to-write-a-will.html

That is where we took a sample for our wills from. I chose the one for married couples without children and we will adjust it once the baby is actually here. We did it a few weeks ago, after finding out that we are expecting our LO. I created word documents and we went over everything together and adjusted where needed and then took them to the bank and got them notarized. Now they are in our fire- and waterproof document safe at home Big Smile

iluvmylab · August 2011

Ricola:

https://www.free-legal-document.com/how-to-write-a-will.html

That is where we took a sample for our wills from. I chose the one for married couples without children and we will adjust it once the baby is actually here. We did it a few weeks ago, after finding out that we are expecting our LO. I created word documents and we went over everything together and adjusted where needed and then took them to the bank and got them notarized. Now they are in our fire- and waterproof document safe at home

Thanks! I'll have to show DH this when he gets home.

missyscadoo · August 2011

Scary! Um... well, we really don't have much and my biggest thing is that my mom doesn't raise the baby. Not that I love the idea of my MIL either. She just doesn't have room with her step sons there! (Five people already in a very small two bedroom house). I think we will end up choosing friends to be the in case we die option. All of our stuff would just go to whomever has the baby. I have a feeling we will just have to talk about it. BIL is getting married here soon, so maybe that will be the person that we choose. Really just not sure at this point. :S

jmd22 · August 2011

Neither I or my husband have a will right now, but we have discussed the fact that we will have to get them done soon. It's something that I really don't want to think about, but bringing a child into the mix, it has to be done. My husband has told me a few times what he wants done if he were to pass away (he's a firefighter, so they talk about it a lot) but I really don't know what I'd like to have done, if were me.

As far as who would take our child in the event that we both died- I have absolutely no idea who to name as guardians. I think that both sets of our parents would be great- but they are getting older, and I'm not sure that's a fair burden to put on them. My brother and his wife just split up, so that's not an option, and my SIL and her husband aren't people that we would want raising our child. It's such a tough decision- I really don't know what we'll put in the will for that.

We have a lawyer that we've used through work, and my parents had their wills done through them as well, so that's probably who we'll go to....

[Deleted User] · August 2011

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chrlyr · August 2011

I actually am an attorney, and I wouldn't chance drafting a will on my own. That's not my practice area, and I really wouldn't trust a document I pulled off the internet.Since there are intricacies to every state's laws, it's not really a "one size fits all" situation.

I would recommend asking friends and family for a recommendation for an estate planning attorney rather than trying to home cook it. Alternatively, a lot of state bar associations have lawyer referral systems.

Personally, guardianship of LO is something that we haven't discussed yet, but need to soon. I want to have everything in place shortly after the birth.

DiademChi · August 2011

I'm fortunate to have a lot of attorneys in my family, including my father and uncle. Everyone in my family, (extended and otherwise) always go to them for legal documents, wills, etc. So we'll just be having my dad update things for us.

I know there are online services that help you set up all the legal documents at a reduced cost. Do your homework and get the basic information compiled (finances, guardianship, inheritance, living-will health directives) before that first meeting to save on time and expenses.

awillis13 · August 2011

We definitely need to do this too. We don't have a lot, but we do have my condo. The guardianship discussion hasn't even been on the radar yet, I think I will have to bring that up with DH soon.

Speaking of guardianship...do you discuss with those who you would consider naming as guardians before you do so, or do you just do it? I know it's such a morbid conversation to have, but I've never had to deal with it so I'm not sure the protocol on that situation.

Summer0715 · August 2011

You should always discuss with potental guardians BEFORE naming them to avoid any issues should they ever be called upon (such as they not feeling ready to take on such a responsibility and the rest of the family then fighting over child). We haven't talked about guardians yet but its something we need to do soon and then update our wills.

zoeyandsummersmom · August 2011

Yes, I have thought about this. Since DH is a lawyer one of his associates can work on this for us for free. We just have to figure out legal guardianship. It is difficult because we have so many people who would care for our child. I do know I would prefer one of our sisters rather than our parents so that they can enjoy their retirement.

mintyblue02 · August 2011

As a paralegal I have "drafted" many standard wills. We just had a template and plugged in names where needed. The attorneys charged about $200 for a standard will, which in my opinion ain't bad, but since you say you don't have much, I also think you could probably write one out yourself with no problems, just make sure to get it notarized and keep the copies in a safe place. I would only think you'd need to go to an estate planner if you had a lot of accounts/assets that needed to be sorted. FYI each state does have thier own rules, so I recommend looking up online what the ones in yours are.

cdymond · August 2011

Everyone should definitely have a will - but if something should happen to you and your husband, your property etc. would automatically pass to your baby if you don't have a will. The most important thing is setting up the paperwork for who will raise your baby in that event, because it could easily end up being someone you don't want. You can probably do it on legalzoom.com if your situation is pretty simple and you don't own property or have a ton of stocks and all that.

iluvmylab · August 2011

cdymond:
Everyone should definitely have a will - but if something should happen to you and your husband, your property etc. would automatically pass to your baby if you don't have a will. The most important thing is setting up the paperwork for who will raise your baby in that event, because it could easily end up being someone you don't want. You can probably do it on legalzoom.com if your situation is pretty simple and you don't own property or have a ton of stocks and all that.

Well we do own our home and stocks as well. We both have ample life insurance policies as well. I'll probably ask DH what he thinks we should do.

dbob · August 2011

We don't yet but our good friend who is an attorney has been bugging us to do it for a while now, and especially now that we're having a baby. I think that is something we'll be doing this fall just to check one more baby-related thing off the list. I know that is no help to you OP I would just call around, many attorneys can do them and if they don't specialize in that area they can recommend someone.

alkinney · August 2011

Yes, absolutely. We have met with an attorney to build a basic will. The main point of this is so that if we both die, our property won't go into probate. This can be very expensive and take a long time for loved ones. We won't look at buildling a trust yet, however we are setting up college funds for our LO.

We have also met with life insurance agents as well and are getting that set up in the next months.

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