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D.C. Area Babies
If you have 2 or more--balancing needs of both
The other thread got me thinking about something that is often on my mind---I am having a hard time coming up with the sentiment, but basically, does anyone have strategies for feeling like you are giving all the children enough of your time?
Mine are very close in age and when I got pregnant the second time, I felt so guilty for my daughter (my first) thinking that she would be getting less attention, etc. But I feel like my son (the second) actually gets less because my daughter is more vocal and demands more attention and my son is much more laid back. Even now, and he will be 1 next week.
I go to play dates with my daughter and I used to bring my son, but since he has been mobile, its nearly impossible for me to watch them both at a public place or at someone elses house. So my son stays home with DH, and then I feel bad for him. On the weekends, I usually get a good hour of time with him alone while my daughter is napping, but then I think--an hour! that's it?!?!
Because of DH's schedule, I am often the one putting both of them to bed. With my daughter, I would read her books every night since nearly the beginning but with my son, we do books so much less just due to the craziness of putting them both to bed at the same time.
These are all random thoughts--I am not sure if I am making much sense. I do love having 2 and watching them together--they "chase" each other around and she is very cute when she brings him toys or his blanket when he is crying.
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Re: If you have 2 or more--balancing needs of both
SO TRUE. And double true for my #3 - he is the most ignored!
wow I could've written that post!
I often tell people who are considering #2 - really, don't worry about your first child being ignored for the new baby, for us, it was the total opposite. #1 was the center of attention when #2 was born.
However, now that my #2 is vocal and has opinions and is being potty trained and needs help getting dressed, etc., she's the one that gets all the attention, so #1 sort of gets ignored (because she can basically take care of herself) and #3 might as well be wallpaper sometimes (because he's not mobile and as long as the diaper is clean, he just plays by himself on a mat). So really, at age 2.5, #2 is now the center of attention.
I tell myself that #3 will just be all the better for it - he'll grow up self reliant! I also am the third/youngest of three kids and I don't feel like I'm any worse for wear, and surely my mom paid more attention to my older brothers in the early years than she did me. And I bet at some age the "order" will change again and #3 will have his day!
I am the youngest of three kids too and I like to think I turned out okay! My mom (who is an awesome mom and awesome grandmother) was visiting a few months ago and made a comment that I was so tired because I spent so much time with the kids, like on the floor playing, etc., making me think maybe back in the mid-70's it wasn't like that.
I'm the oldest of 4, and I am certain my parents played with us differently than I do with mine. My earliest memories are of playing with my brother (15 months younger) and playing with the dog. I know as my younger brothers entered the family and became mobile, they just joined in the fray.
I think DS gets less attention from me than DD did, 1 child is certainly easier to focus on than 2 - but he gets lots of attention from DD so I think it balances out. DD definitely commands more attention than DS. 2.5 year olds are high needs. She is constantly telling me that baby wants daddy. I also feel bad that I don't read as many books to DS but I aim for 1 a day and usually make that. He's still at the age where he'd rather eat than read them.