Illinois Babies

Shower Invite to distant relatives.

So I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the guest list for the family shower my mom and sister are throwing for me. My issue is I feel awkward inviting relatives who i have not heard from or seen since my wedding (4 years ago). This is primarily my fathers side of the family. My father passed away a couple month before our wedding, and over the last few years we have grown distant from them and my step mothers family. I send holiday cards, and try to keep them up to date with my life, but they don't really respond. It's kinda sad. Anyway, they know I'm expecting (although only 1 aunt and 1 cousin replied with a congrats). And they were all invited to my sisters baby 3 years ago, and I believe they all came. I'm worried that inviting them to mine will look more like a plea for gifts instead of a kind gesture. I'm thinking instead I just send them a baby announcement when she is born, and if then want to send something, great, it's not the intent of the announcement.

 

thoughts? 

Re: Shower Invite to distant relatives.

  • I hate that feeling of "I want to invite you if you can come, but it isn't a plea for a present".  Can you call or email them to give them a head's up?  A quick, "I'm having a shower and would love to invite you if you think you can come" type note.

    In this case, I think I'd invite them especially since they were invited to your sister's shower.  Unless they live far away and would not travel.  They can always make an excuse if they don't want to come.  In my family, anyone in my parent's generation would be offended if they weren't invited, even if I haven't seen them in years-but that might just be my relatives.

    It may be bad etiquette, but I don't send a gift for showers I don't attend (although do normally send baby gifts, and both for people I'm really close to).  I would make an excuse not to attend if I felt really weird about being invited.

    good luck 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Yeah, after thinking about it, and talking to my sister. I think it's best to invite everyone, and let them make the descision. As my sister said "These ladies love for these things!" Which is true.
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  • I always have the same problem. I invited those relatives to my wedding shower, but for my baby shower I opted not too. It just felt strange. I'm planning on sending them an announcement and I send them holiday cards but I never hear back. I'll keep trying and when I start hearing back I'll send them family get together invites again. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Proud Mom to the ZooCrew - Jack 3 years old and Joey 21 months. 
    Excited and delighted to welcome the 3rd member of the ZooCrew in 2015! We can't wait to meet you Matthew Henry!
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