Watching toddlers and tiaras....

Melicakes · August 2011

Yes I know judge me lol. I can't help but wonder why some mothers choose to put their little girls through such harsh expectations.

Would you put your daughter in a pageant if she "wanted" to?(I don't think two and three yr olds are capable of such decisions)

I want to support Carina in things she'd like to do but I think pageants (at least the ones they show on tv) just claw at their tiny self esteem.

Thoughts??

lovelyAngelique · August 2011

This is so hard because I feel like what toddler is capable of making ANY choices yet ?People sign their kids up for all sorts of sports and arts. To me pageantry is just another one of those. Some parents just take it too far. I have seen parents take things too far in sports and other competitive things too. To me I just think kids should learn teamwork, cooperation, or even just a little competition (practice for later in life) but overall they should be having fun and enjoying being young. It is the parents that can ruin it for them by being TOO competitive.

etoyama · August 2011

That show disgusts me. I feel like these pageants sexualize children. Sure I want my daughter to be confident. Confidence can be gained through learning a musical instrument, being a part of a sports team, etc. I do not believe it is gained through wearing false eyelashes and baby stripper heels. I never, ever want my daughter to feel that she's valued only for her looks and ability to turns a man's head. I tend not to share strong opinions on the board but this is one topic I definitely do not feel neutral about.

lovelyAngelique · August 2011

Ahh! haha. Stripper heels for toddlers. It reminds me of an article I just read online somewhere for stripper pole dancing classes that included kids as young as 7. I was just like HUH?? WHAT? This is not fitness folks.. take gymnastics or a sport for fitness!

steveandkim2 · August 2011

I watch it every week and I shake my head (so no judgement on you for watching it). I realize it may be a regional thing -- they certainly aren't popular in the NE/Mid-Atlantic where I grew up and live, but I just don't get the allure. Plus, it sounds like big bucks.

Honestly, I think they could show crazy parents in anything - soccer, baseball, pushing kid to be top of class. I think its one thing if that's an activity your child asks to pursue at an age where they understandwhat they are doing. Its completely wrong (IMO) to push a baby or toddler into any type of competition.

Melicakes · August 2011

etoyama:
That show disgusts me. I feel like these pageants sexualize children. Sure I want my daughter to be confident. Confidence can be gained through learning a musical instrument, being a part of a sports team, etc. I do not believe it is gained through wearing false eyelashes and baby stripper heels. I never, ever want my daughter to feel that she's valued only for her looks and ability to turns a man's head. I tend not to share strong opinions on the board but this is one topic I definitely do not feel neutral about.

I have to agree with you E. I'm all for things that will build her up not break her down. I wouldn't be opposed to a pageant where showing a talent meant playing an instrument or singing a song (for real) . I don't see the talent in booty shaking or for that matter tantrums because the contestant is 2...

I agree with you also that they're sexualizing these poor girls. Tanning? Fake eyelashes? Heels? Midriffs showing and bikini tops? Hellllllll no to all that for my daughter. And to teach your child that she is being judged on beauty, c'mon how wrong is that? So if she doesn't win shes not pretty anymore?

And we wonder why 8 yr olds have eating disorders??? I agree also with pp that the parents do make it worse trying to live through their children for what I think are strange and unrealistic goals. One mom said it was her dream for her daughter to compete and win a crown in all 50 states. Side eye for sure!!!

Again I'd be into something constructive that will make her feel good about herself whether she wins or loses which I think is a key lesson in life that you don't always win it all but it doesn't mean you'll be any less successful. I lost a spelling new in 8th grade and I'm just fine Stick out tongue

DeputiesWife · August 2011

etoyama:
That show disgusts me. I feel like these pageants sexualize children. Sure I want my daughter to be confident. Confidence can be gained through learning a musical instrument, being a part of a sports team, etc. I do not believe it is gained through wearing false eyelashes and baby stripper heels. I never, ever want my daughter to feel that she's valued only for her looks and ability to turns a man's head. I tend not to share strong opinions on the board but this is one topic I definitely do not feel neutral about.

This is me.

DD did dance this year - she loved it - it taught her to follow direction, take turns, and some socialization with children outside her daycare. At her age, 3 to 4 years old, it isnt competitive, nor is the studio itself, there are different competitions they go to should they choose to but that isnt until older. I never once forced her to go to class and had she of not wanted to dance in the recital I would be ok with that.

The things that this moms do to their children is absurd, let your kid be a kid.

I dont believe that I would let her do it if she wanted to. My DH feels a lot stronger about it than I do.

leecrystalwed08 · August 2011

Guilty Embarrassed

I love watching that show...I don't agree with it at all...But I do watch it.

I feel terrible for those girls who don't win Grand Supreme and the mom's are like "Well you don't get a big crown if you don't do it perfect" I wanna slap some of them by the end of the show and my husband is always asking why I still watch it since I am yelling at the TV.

MaybeMore · August 2011

My daughter would loveloveloveloveLOVE pageants. Not just any pageants, but the "glamour/glitz/whatever" ones. She's not 3 yet, but I can't EVER let her see that TV show because I would never hear the end of it.

I don't think it's "claw" at her self esteem in the least, but I really don't like the frank sexualization of young children in so many of the shows and costumes. And it's precisely because my daughter would love it SO much that it might not be healthy for her.

Note that I think that the self-esteem movement is a bunch of hogwash. That her feelings might get hurt if she didn't win is the last reason I'd keep her form doing something. You should only win if you're the best, and if you're not, you should realize it and either make winning a priority or decide you just don't care that much. Getting a prize for showing up is a thousand times more damaging than any disappointment.

wordslikeswords · August 2011

DeputiesWife:

etoyama:
That show disgusts me. I feel like these pageants sexualize children. Sure I want my daughter to be confident. Confidence can be gained through learning a musical instrument, being a part of a sports team, etc. I do not believe it is gained through wearing false eyelashes and baby stripper heels. I never, ever want my daughter to feel that she's valued only for her looks and ability to turns a man's head. I tend not to share strong opinions on the board but this is one topic I definitely do not feel neutral about.

This is me.

DD did dance this year - she loved it - it taught her to follow direction, take turns, and some socialization with children outside her daycare. At her age, 3 to 4 years old, it isnt competitive, nor is the studio itself, there are different competitions they go to should they choose to but that isnt until older. I never once forced her to go to class and had she of not wanted to dance in the recital I would be ok with that.

The things that this moms do to their children is absurd, let your kid be a kid.

I dont believe that I would let her do it if she wanted to. My DH feels a lot stronger about it than I do.

I agree with both of you! I've only seen the show a few times but some of the things they so are just way too "adult" for such little kids. I did dance when I was little though and it was great for socializing and I got to learn skills. Pageants I just don't get.

Jessiree · August 2011

My big issue with pageants for young children (aside from what seems to be the overt sexualization of children) is that I think they reinforce the ideal that you are only as good as your appearance, which is a pressure that girls especially face, and don't need any more of. I think most young children aren't able to distinguish between how they look and winning and places them in competition with others at an age that it is particularly inappropriate.

I have no issues with pageants for teenagers as long as it is a desire of the child, and not of parents forcing them to live out some dream of theirs, but I also feel that way about most things, including competitive sports.

Melicakes · August 2011

MaybeMore:

That her feelings might get hurt if she didn't win is the last reason I'd keep her form doing something. You should only win if you're the best, and if you're not, you should realize it and either make winning a priority or decide you just don't care that much. Getting a prize for showing up is a thousand times more damaging than any disappointment.

If we were talking about a test of skill I would totally agree. But in these pageants the focus is beauty and perceived "perfection". These mothers are smothering their daughters in comments of how beautiful and perfect and gorgeous they are and then only one or two of them gets to win... That's not sending a positive message to these girls when their self esteem is still so fragile.

MrsVo · August 2011

I have an interesting perspective on this because I was in pageants as a kid. When I was little they were not as over-the-top as they are now, but I still feel like it did a number on my self esteem. I'm sure it didn't help that I was shy and overweight, but regardless it is something that my girls will not be exposed to. I've already had the "over my dead body" talk with my mother in regards to my girls and pageants.

lovelyAngelique · August 2011

I'm also wondering though what the difference is between the regular pageants and these "glitz" ones. All they ever show on there is the Glitz ones. The regular ones may not be as bad. I remember watching a lady describe that a tan, wearing a flipper (fake teeth) and the expensive outfits were normal for glitz but not necessary in other pageants. You have to also remember that it is a TV SHOW. They are meant to get ratings so they want to show the moms and little girls that will shock and awe viewers. It is all edited that way. We see mostly spoiled little brats and crazy moms. I'm sure there are more normal contestants and parents. Probably more so in a regular pageant than glitz?

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