WWYD re: a frustrated babysitter (long)

anglndsguse44 · August 2011

DS was diagnosed with reflux a few weeks ago. We took him to the doctor when we noticed him spitting up more often. He didn't see to be bothered while spitting up, but would become hungrier after about 2 hours of eating his last bottle.

We had DS's 4 month appointment last week, and again we told the pedi that he is still spitting up a lot, but again, did not seem bothered by it. The pedi said that because DS is gaining weight and sleeping well, she is hesitant to prescribe him meds for the reflux since he will be starting solids soon, and that typically babies grow out of reflux around that time.

Yesterday, I picked DS up from the babysitter (who has been my friend since 7th grade), and she proceeded to tell me that DS is always fussy, is always spitting up, and she is getting frustrated because she doesn't know what to do. I advised her about my conversations with the pedi and she told me that I "needed to get a second opinion".

Let me preface that DS is rarely fussy for me and my MIL (who watches him one day a week). My sitter has two little girls, ages 3 and 1, and I know it is difficult for her to pay 100% attention to DS, and I don't expect her to, but I explained to her that I wish she would have said something to me sooner instead of allowing her frustration to build.

I plan on calling the pedi today to relay my sitter's concern. I have a feeling she is going to tell me the same thing, so now I am wondering if I should get a second opinion or just trust that my pedi knows what she is doing. Generally, I LOVE our pedi - she is patient, caring, full of knowledge, and a non-alarmist, which I appreciate.

Any thoughts would be helpful. I don't want my babysitter to be frustrated, but most of all, I don't want my baby to always be fussy and I want to be able to help him. I just don't like it when my "mommy judgement" is questioned

JPLbride · August 2011

It sounds like maybe your friend is overwhelmed with three children, two being under the age of 1. She may be struggling with having to hold, soothe, clean up and feed your son and the lack of attention she can give her two children at the same time. If your son does not exhibit the fussiness for you or your mom then maybe she is telling you this so the doctor will maybe put him on medicine, but what she may not know is that the meds do nothing for the spitting up. My son has reflux and is on Zantac twice a day and he still has days when his clothes have to be changed at daycare three times a day.

amy259 · August 2011

I don't think you NEED to get a second opinion...she should not have said that to you. I think that if you aren't questioning the doctor or your own thoughts/feelings then I wouldn't see another doctor. I agree with the pp maybe she is feeling overwhelmed with the 3 children or maybe something else is going on in her life personally as well. Since you are friends she probably feels like she can say things to you where a daycare wouldn't put emotion behind it. They would probably tell you if he was more fussy then normal, sick or just acting not like himself. Babies can be fussy and spit up (some more then others) that's life. She could also just be having a bad day which shouldn't be an excuse for her since she should be being more professional to you when it comes to taking care of your LO. I would see if she says something again to you and if she does they I would ask her if she was still ok with taking care of him.

pregaftertubal · August 2011

yeah, it sounds to me like sitter is having a bit of a problem dealing with the three.

GreenFlamingo7 · August 2011

I've got a super puker too, so I understand your frustration. In reading the board, I do notice that many of the ladies on here have babies on meds for reflux. DH and I talked about it multiple times (I am an RN, he is a PA), we pulled the research articles from Up To Date (a online database that provides Physicians and other healthcare providers with diagnosis and treatment information; the information is reviewed annually and links to the latest studies) and read and discussed further.

Our Pedi told us the same thing yours did, which is in line with the research and current diagnosic and treatment guidelines. For babies that have normal growth and development, medication is not indicated for treatment. It's a laundry problem, not a need for medication.

Honestly, the babysitter has no business telling you that you need to get a second opinion. If you, as the parent, are happy with what the Pedi told you the babysitter needs to respect that.

anglndsguse44 · August 2011

Thank you! I feel the same way, after discussing it with DH. Babies spit up. It's a fact. My sitter told me that her kids hardly ever spit up, so of course she is going to say something about it.

JanaVT9183 · August 2011

Yeah, I'm in the same boat as you with the spit up. Luke spits up after almost every bottle, but he's gaining weight, and it doesn't seem to bother him. In fact, sometimes he laughs after he spits up. There's no way I'm putting him on medicine when it doesn't bother him. My pediatrician is telling us the same things yours is, so I wouldn't worry about it. I might look into a different daycare though if I were you.

Twinkz · August 2011

DS was diagnosed with reflux and we too aren't on medication. Sometimes he's super fussy when he spits but in the past month and a half it's become a non-event for him. I don't want DS on any medication that isn't absolutely necessary and I don't agree with other people pushing it. I agree that it sounds like she's overwhelmed. If you can find another sitter I would. Not just because she sounds like she has her hands too full but also because it sounds like she's being passive agressive and making you question your decisions as a parent.

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WWYD re: a frustrated babysitter (long)

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