Parenting after 35

Do you have an age you consider a ttc cut-off?

I go back and forth pretty much daily on having a third child. I'll be 39 in a month and thought I'd feel totally done by now, but no matter how insane my day with two is I can't totally shake the idea of having another. I'm not ready right now, and I am very nervous about waiting longer/being older. Anyway, do you have an age cut-off for having another child, or does it play no part in deciding to have more?
Nadia Irene 8/13/07 Reid Owen 8/18/09

Re: Do you have an age you consider a ttc cut-off?

  • I think if my energy level and fertility is not an issue, having a complete-feeling family is more important.  Still, 50 might be pushing it.  We're hoping to get just one more after this next one.

    ETA: I'm currently 43. 

    Okay, another edit:  My pregnancies have been really easy on me, and I don't think we'd go for any big interventions to get pregnant if we were having trouble.  We're blessed with one, we have a good chance that number two will be healthy as well, so three would really be icing.  :) 

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  • PeskyPesky member
    I first said 35.  That clearly didn't work.  Then I said 40.  And now that I'm almost 40, eh, 43?  It's really a matter of personal comfort and not surprising that if you don't feel like your family is complete, that you suddenly find your cut-off to be a bit further out than first imagined.  You're done when you're done.  Age shouldn't matter.  Well, I'll go with peppernut and say 50 might be a bit taxing.


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  • I turned 40 today.  I was 37 when I conceived #1 and 38 when he arrived in the world.  We just started trying for #2.  I was pg the third month of trying the first time around.  I will give it until spring 2012 and if we are not pg by then, we won't be having another. My reasoning is this:

    I had extreme tailbone and low back pain for the entire 3rd trimester, which required me to start my mat leave 3 weeks before my EDD because I couldn't sit at my desk at work anymore.  I had a very rough delivery of a 9lber (back labour, posterior position, 3rd degree tear and broken tailbone) and am not sure how well my boby will handle the later stages of another pregnancy.  I really want my son to have a sibling though, so we are trying for now.  I  don't want to be delivering after the age of 41 though.  Friends of mine keep reminding me that I will be going thru menopause when my kid(s) are in highschool.  The thought of that is almost enough to stop me in my tracks now!

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  • steverstever member
    If we decide to have another, 40?
  • I'm 41 now and we are currently TTC #2.  I plan to keep trying until either I get a BFP or I finally decide it's time to throw in the towel. 
     
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  • I think you also have to consider the age of the father.  I am 41 and if I could, I think I would get preegnant again.  However, DH is 47.  I have no desire to do this without help.  He is slowing down more than I am (although he can run an overnight camp with 350 kids and run them into the dirt) and I want him as an active participant.
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  • I think it is different for everyone. I turn 40 in August so I thinking that's it for us. I go back and forth all the time. It does play a role for me sadly. If I was younger I would be pregnant with my 2nd by now. So, I guess for me, yes age plays a role :-(
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  • I thought it was 37 & said that for years. I was 36 when my LO was conceived, 37 when she was delivered. No sooner was she here, MH & I started talking about when to start TTC the next one--seriously, I was still in the hospital when we started talking about the next. We're going to TTC #2 in early 2012...a spit shake might've been involved.

    We were very lucky the first time around. It only took 7 months to conceive our LO (chemical pregnancy/miscarriage the month before), so if all goes well the 2nd time around I'll be 38 when LO #2 is conceived, 39 when s/he is delivered. We're thinking 2 is it for us, but who knows? We thought 1 was it, but we have TTC #2 planned for next year. 

    I guess no matter the number we decide on, I think 42 is my cut-off. MH is 5 yrs older than me, so that kind of plays a factor for me. He's not slowing down yet, but who knows what can happen between now & 47/48. 

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  • Early 40's for me. E. was born two days before I turned 41. I would maybe like one more but H. is 52 - we have to consider his age/enegry level, too. So we closed the shop and I had an IUD put in.

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  • While I decided to be one and done, I did have a TTC cut-off--that was age 42.
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  • KL777KL777 member
    Not really, maybe 37 (I'm 37 now).  I think we're one and done over here.

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  • We took into account my age, his age and our daughter's age.  Add in the years of miscarriages and what-not, our cut off was 30 to stop actively trying.  Hubby is several years older than me and our first was born when I was 19.  We did not want to be late 30's and almost 50 starting over. That and we have done enough to the almost-grown pumpkin with deployments...just wasn't wanting to do that to another kid.

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  • imagePeppernut:


    ETA: I'm currently 43. 


    Peppernut: In my birthing class when DH and I were preparing for Maddie there was a couple where the woman was 45 with her first baby. She had a pretty uneventful pregnancy and had an at home birth. 

     

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  • Well, I was certain I wouldn't try after I was 35 and when I hit 35 with out my family feeling complete (and me a single mom), I was devastated.  DH and I married when I was 37 and wanted a child together, maybe 2.  We started TCC after our 1st anniversary and conceived Maddie when I was 38 and DH was 41. We are pregnant with our 2nd child together at 41 and 44, respectively. We were fortunate to get pregnant easily and IMO, the pregnancy and delivery was much easier at 39 than when I had my boys at 21 and 23!

     

    FWIW, my OB/GYN is pregnant at 39 with her first. :) She said they also got pregnant with no trouble and is having a beautiful pregnancy.

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  • I don't have a cut-off, per se, but I thought I'd pregnant and 40 since we had DS so late.  Well, I'll be 40 in December and I'm not ready yet to TTC #2, so I think I'll shoot for pregnant at 41, maybe birth at 42.  We shall see!
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  • imageStrunella:
    I'm 41 now and we are currently TTC #2.  I plan to keep trying until either I get a BFP or I finally decide it's time to throw in the towel. 

     

    This! But my personal cut-off age at this point is 42, so that means we better get busy!

    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
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