Last name clicky poll...

saffie2011 · August 2011

Someone asked about naming her baby with her FI's last name and it got me wondering what other folks have in done terms of last names...

I did not take DH's name when we got married 3 1/2 years ago because I always imagined keeping my name. I was almost 30 when we got married and had a professional life of my own, so it felt strange to me to change my name. Our kids will have his last name. We've had no real issues with this thus far, but sometimes it gets a little annoying with paperwork... especially during this pregnancy.

I plan to use his last name casually when it comes to family stuff and PTA, but legally and for most purposes, I will keep mine. What did you all do?

[Poll]

mm&es · August 2011

I didn't take DH's last name, but our DD has his last name. I haven't encountered any problems at all. DD's doctor calls me Mrs. DD'sLastName, but I haven't bothered to correct her because she has more important things to remember.

Willosious · August 2011

I am going to take my DH last name, but I was finishing up my degree and it was going to be a pain to get the university to change everything over with only a few months to go then I started working on my CPA so it was kind of left up in air. ANd my me initials will be WW instead of WE. So I get the bottom of the list no matter what Ido, but there was never any question as to whether our daughter will have his last name, she will. I am traditional about that kind of thing also. I will get it changed eventually Embarrassed

, I am just a procratinator (also really like my last name)

StephK · August 2011

Since I was 28 when we got married and my publications were in my maiden name, I compromised and took his last name, but changed my middle name to my maiden name. I didn't want to hyphenate because my first name and last name aren't short and there is rarely enough room for all three names together!

mdrswedding · August 2011

When I got married I was older (mid 30's) and was already established in my professional life. The thought of changing my name made me uneasy and DH didn't care either way - he would of been fine if I didn't change. We both knew we wanted to try and get pregnant and that is the only reason I did change my name. I really wanted my last name to be the same as my child's. Personal choice though.

hairspray77 · August 2011

I like my Maiden name much much more than my H last name, but I took his last name without hesitation. To me, it's symbolic of joining our 2 seperate lives into 1 life together. It would bother me to have a different last name from my husband and our children.

PearlPink · August 2011

I considered using my maiden name but I think DH would have been hurt (even if he said he was fine with it) but decided I wanted to go the more traditional route and take his. I'm glad I did as I want the same last name as our child. Friends of mine have switched their maiden name to their middle name, I kind of wish I had thought of doing that, except our daughter is being given my middle name (which is my grandmother's middle name also).

CMonkey515 · August 2011

hairspray77:
I like my Maiden name much much more than my H last name, but I took his last name without hesitation. To me, it's symbolic of joining our 2 seperate lives into 1 life together. It would bother me to have a different last name from my husband and our children.

This exactly

saffie2011 · August 2011

hairspray77:
I like my Maiden name much much more than my H last name, but I took his last name without hesitation. To me, it's symbolic of joining our 2 seperate lives into 1 life together. It would bother me to have a different last name from my husband and our children.

While I totally get the bolded part, I just don't get why that means the woman has to take her husband's name. DH didn't mind me not taking his name and I don't mind our kids taking his, but I know that we are in the minority on this... I also don't mind when I am called "Mrs. [DH's last name...]" although it makes me giggle and feel like I am playing house every time! Embarrassed

Liz4444 · August 2011

I never considered not taking my husband's name. The women in my family have all changed their names. I also wouldn't want to have a different last name as my children.

ProcrastinatingBride · August 2011

saffie2011:
hairspray77:
I like my Maiden name much much more than my H last name, but I took his last name without hesitation. To me, it's symbolic of joining our 2 seperate lives into 1 life together. It would bother me to have a different last name from my husband and our children.

While I totally get the bolded part, I just don't get why that means the woman has to take her husband's name. DH didn't mind me not taking his name and I don't mind our kids taking his, but I know that we are in the minority on this... I also don't mind when I am called "Mrs. [DH's last name...]" although it makes me giggle and feel like I am playing house every time!

This for us too.

MsTammy · August 2011

I took DH's last name when we got married 4 years ago. DS was already 5 at the time and had DH's last name. It was important to me for us to all have the same last name as a family. It was also a big deal to my DS when I changed my name. He was running around telling everyone "Me and my mom have the same last name now!".

ababymaybe · August 2011

I changed my name. It was important to DH and it was important to me that I have the same last name as my children. For me, those were more important than the education/career side of it-- by and large, most women here change their last name regardless of their field anyway.

Ceridwen21 · August 2011

In my province (Quebec) marriage is not considered a valid reason to change your name, so everyone keeps their maiden names. Made the decision pretty easy for me (though I wouldn't have changed it even if I had the choice), and it's also easy in the sense that doctors, teachers etc expect you to have a different LN than your child, so it's not a hassle at all.

A Pregnant Pause · August 2011

I didn't take H's last name even though it did cause some hurt feelings. I understand the tradition of it, but don't see the practicality of it. I have no problem being referred to by his last name casually (I'm not militant about it) and the LO will have his last name as well, but as far as all of us needing to have the same last name, I'm not as concerned about. Families come in so many different permutations that I feel like most people are use to this by now.

rkto · August 2011

I go by my maiden name at work and I go by my husbands name in all other aspects of my life.

but I think the whole name change thing is different in Ontario. We just assume the name, we dont have to offiicially change it.

I wanted my child to have the same name as me and my husband. If you go by your maiden name, then your baby is called Firstname Mothermaiden at the hospital and I know that would crush my husband. He wants to be connected.

rescueddogmom · August 2011

We have been married over four years and I haven't changed my name. Like Steph, I already had publications in my maiden name and wanted to build my CV. Also, my dad died three months after we got married and I just wasn't ready to give up my family name at the time. Our baby will have DH's last name and I will likely change too after I publish my dissertation research. It's just more important to me now than my career.

kat72883 · August 2011

I got married between college and grad school, so I didn't have anything in my maiden name yet. I also don't really like my maiden name (purely from an I-hate-spelling-and-pronouncing-it-for-everyone standpoint). And my maiden name and DH's last name would make quite a mouthful hyphenated.

I never really thought it was a big deal, though, to keep my maiden name. Now my cousin is getting married in a few weeks and his girlfriend intends to keep her maiden name. They have a 4 year old son already who has his last name, but she just wants to keep hers. I don't see a problem with this, and neither does he, but some of our family is getting their panties in a twist. His sister just keeps going on about how rude it is. Lol. Of all things, I don't think it's rude. Didn't know people had such strong feelings about someone else's last name these days.

dejavu · August 2011

I didn't change my name, and always knew I wouldn't. DH had no problem with that (I think his family was more upset, but whatev). DS has his last name and this LO will too. We ahve never had any problems. Sometimes I am called Mrs his last name and on ocassion he has been called Mr my last name. LOL. We did hoever use my last name as DS midle name.

rubysue267 · August 2011

I voted SS because I am still carry my maiden name in the eyes of the law, although this is only because I have been the ultimate in lazy. We have been married for over 2 years and I use DH's last name professionally and personally. The only time I have to remind myself about my maiden name is when traveling or paying taxes. I've begun to process the paperwork to have my name officially changed and honestly I'm really embarrassed it's taken this long. I think it's a personal decision for everyone, but I am eager to legally share the same name before DS is born.

Hoping For A Davis · August 2011

Josh and I aren't getting married until next summer, so we obviously have different last names. We are giving LO his last name, so we don't have to change both his and mine after we're married.

LisaMarie_ · August 2011

I do not share the same last name as Matthew simply because we aren't married yet (we are common-law though) So our son has his last name, as will this baby and I will take his number once we get married.

ladybirda · August 2011

A Pregnant Pause:
I didn't take H's last name even though it did cause some hurt feelings. I understand the tradition of it, but don't see the practicality of it. I have no problem being referred to by his last name casually (I'm not militant about it) and the LO will have his last name as well, but as far as all of us needing to have the same last name, I'm not as concerned about. Families come in so many different permutations that I feel like most people are use to this by now.

This. I don't go out of my way to correct people if they call me by his name, but I didn't change my name when I got married. I'm just used to my name and suddenly being called something else felt weird. LO will have his name, but I'm thinking of maybe adding my name as a second middle name - it's common in Latino culture - but it would just be on official docs like his birth certificate and not something that he would have to deal with all the time.

rainlily · August 2011

I had several publications, my D.D.S., my dental license, DEA certification, etc in my maiden name. DH is fairly liberal and I assumed that I would keep my name. He asked me if I would take his name before we got married and I couldn't say no to him. So, my maiden name became my middle name and his last name became my last name. It was such a hassle, but it made him happy.

eeyore3838 · August 2011

I took H's last name, even though I preferred by maiden name. I disliked my middle name, so I removed it and added my maiden name as my new middle name. Two birds with one stone!

UofMWolverines · August 2011

I changed my name legally from First Middle Maiden to First Middle Maiden Married -- without a hyphen. This way, I could continue to use my Maiden name professionally but could go by my married name with friends, etc.

uberbitter · August 2011

The whole name ordeal really irritates me because there is no good solution as far as I'm concerned. While I certainly wouldn't mind DH and me and the child having the same last name, I didn't want to give up my name, and my DH didn't understand in general why women change their names. By the same token he didn't consider changing his. We considered making up a new last name, but we never really came up with anything worthwhile. LO will likely have my last name, as it is MUCH easier to pronounce and say than DH's, and he's pushing for that purely from the practical perspective.

Edited to add: hyphenating would be too ridiculous to consider, as DH's last name already doesn't always fit on standardized forms.

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