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December 2010 Moms
lilmgirl
member
2nd time+ moms - a question
lilmgirl
member
How hard was it to go from 1 child to 2? I have a feeling we're going to end up with another one but I'm dreading it at the same time.
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Re: 2nd time+ moms - a question
Why isn't this done already? I thought you were instructed to get on that a couple of weeks ago.
Seriously though, why are you dreading it? Everyone I've ever spoken with said that it was going from 0 to1 that was hard and 1 to 2 was no big deal. Literally everyone has said that. I'm going to hope that's the case.
ha ha ladies. well, since we decided to do the debt snowball thing, we were thinking of re-visiting it then in a couple of years. But ugh. Just as soon as Kami will be sleeping on his own, (hopefully) and potty trained (hopefully), I'd have to start over.
I just can't make up my damn mind.
I think it was harder going none to one. You already know what to expect, are way more relaxed, and enjoy the infant stage more because you know how fast it goes. BUT you lose a lot of "me" time (I know you think you don't have any as it is, but it gets worse). Someone always needs something and someone is always cranky.
It can also depend a lot on the children though. My two kids couldn't be any more different. My 1st was and still is extremely hard while my 2nd is laid back, easy peasy. My DD commands so much of my attention that sometimes I forget my son is still in the room!
I agree. We said many times to each other "Why did we do this again?" It's hard to go back once you feel like you kinda got your life back.
I think we're the polar opposite of the PPs... having baby #2 after DD was potty trained, more independent, STTN, etc. was a lot easier on us to transition than if we had 2 in diapers, 2 who couldn't talk/communicate their needs at the same time, etc. We were also in a much better place financially and emotionally when we had DS, in part because DS was planned and DD was not... so we were able to take a lot more in stride without feeling like the whole world was crashing down on us, you know?
And the 6-year age gap we have is AWESOME. I mean, for us it works so well. DD is incredibly helpful and loving, and it helps keep things balanced for us.
everyone has told me that its easy going from 1 to 2. it was way more difficult going from 0 to 1 since everything is new and you dont know what to expect.
that being said, everyone has also told me to have kids one after another really fast (as in only a year or so apart in age) so that you have a few short years of diaper changes and no sleep but at least you get it all over with. whereas if you wait and have an age gap of 3 or 4 or more years, thats hard to do. i guess cause you have a newborn again and have to get into that frame of mind all over again (but if your kids are only a yr apart, youre still in that frame of mind.. well, thats what a few ppl have told me.
DO IT, DO IT!!!!
I had a much harder time going from 0-1. BF was easier, I knew what to expect, I was MUCH more relaxed this time and actually enjoyed my maternity leave more. This one is a much suckier sleeper than #1, so that does blow, but he's not horrible!
Working FT and having 2 and pumping/ BF has gotten me down here and there, but I recently dropped to 4 days a week and it's so much better!
We were gonna stop at 2, but we might have 3!!
I was dreading having number 2. The sleepless nights, not being able to communicate, poopy diapers, lack of sleep, learning to eat (choking), bottles, etc after years of sleep and a year of being potty trained (basicly). I also was so worried how this would affect DD#1. I'm the only certain thing in my kids lives. DH is active duty AF and has deployed 3 times since DD#1 was born is currently deployed. For DD#1, she was used to having me all to herself and I was worried how she would react. But she did great! There is a 3 1/2 year difference between my girls. She is helpful and can be patient. They are great together. Now, I have no idea how things will go in a few months when number 3 gets here less than a year after number 2.
I'll have to get back to you in a few years to let you know which way works best....back to back or 3+ years in between. You are a lot more laid back with your second child but I understand the feeling you're talking about. Good luck! 
Going from none to 1 is the hardest. But going from 1 to 2 is still rather difficult. You don't get to sleep when the baby sleeps - huge difference. You have a toddler that needs your attention plus a baby that needs you as well. Going from 2 to 3 was a little easier and then going from 3 to 4 and 4 to 5 was not a big deal at all. However, it all depends on the child (if they are healthy, their personality, the age difference in the kids, etc.).
I definitely recommend having a second child - good luck!
I think some things are easier and others are harder. I had mine pretty close in age, though. It was definitely nice to have a "been here, done that" feeling. I knew I could leave him for while when he was crying and he'd be okay. I knew he wouldn't hate me if I took him to daycare or left him with a sitter. All of the little things that seemed so terrifying with DD (starting solids, getting sick, bumps and bruises) aren't such a big deal this time around.
What has been hard for me is figuring out how to divide my time. They both want Mommy, but they don't always want to share me. Asher will pull out DD's hair if she gets to close, and she doesn't understand that he's not trying to be mean. DD tries to wrestle with Asher or cover him with blankets, and it freaks me out which freaks them both out. DD was going through a phase of not STTN when Asher was born, and I thought I was going to die of exhaustion. In the end, I just have to make sure we have a really good schedule and I just can't ever leave Asher anywhere DD can get to him if I step outside or further than the next room over. She will hop in his jumper or crib or whatever just to be close to him.
What makes it all worthwhile is how much they LOVE each other. He saves his biggest smiles and happiest giggles for her. She loves him more than anything and always snuggles and kisses him. I feel like giving them each other has been the best thing we could have ever done for both of them.
Yes, I'd agree with this.
I found the hardest thing the total lost of 'me' time, and the guilt. I know DS loves DD to pieces, but he doesn't have nearly as much mummy time as he used to.