April 2011 Moms

Frustrated (vent)

I will start this off by saying, I have a very supportive family, and I am very close with my mom. That being said, she sometimes drives me crazy. I have had some rough times with DD(I just posted on the 3-6 board about her feeding issues), and have been very stressed multiple times when she has refused to eat, sometimes for days at a time.  She even stopped gaining weight at one point. DD has also had two surgeries to her eye for a congenital cataract and has had reflux. So, ya, I do obsess a little about how well she eats. I guess part of it is because she has had a lot of issues so far and I am constantly worrying other issues are going to pop up.

DH works nights so I am home by myself with DD from when I get out of work until when I leave for work the next morning basically when DH takes over. None of my close friends have kids so I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I tried to talk to my mom last night to tell her I was getting concerned about how little DD was starting to eat and she replied....

"My co-workers daughter brought her baby in and he barely eats, but she doesn't seem concerned." And " I never remember counting how many ounces you ate, I just fed you when you were hungry, I think you're just working yourself up into a frenzy."

Ya, I get that I probably worry too much. But I am a first time mom, I don't always know what to do, and with all these feeding issues, I just want to make sure there isn't an underlying problem.  I just wanted someone to talk to and she just made me feel worse. Now I feel like I have no one to talk to about it, and no solutions yet to help DD either (we have been working with the pedi on it).

Re: Frustrated (vent)

  • Sometimes it's hard to talk to the older generations - they did things so differently back then. I'm sure she means no harm - but I know it can make you feel almost defeated in your efforts.

    Keep up with your pedi's advice, come to the boards here for advice and listen to your own instincts. That's the best you can do for your lo!

    GL

  • I'm so sorry your going through this. Especially feeling like you don't have anyone who understands; I have this too. Sometimes I have to tell my mom at the beginning of the conversation that I am looking for sympathy- not a solution. LOL She laughs at me (in a gentle mom way) because she knows that she'll do the same thing as your mom.

    And you can't worry "too much"- you're a mom. It's part of the program!! :) And I don't think anyone would be any different if it were their child having these issues.

    GL! {hugs}

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  • imageGina418:

    Sometimes it's hard to talk to the older generations - they did things so differently back then. I'm sure she means no harm - but I know it can make you feel almost defeated in your efforts.

    Keep up with your pedi's advice, come to the boards here for advice and listen to your own instincts. That's the best you can do for your lo!

    GL

    Agreed. If I hear "it's amazing my kids survived" one more time in regards to crib bumpers, car seats, walkers or whatever, I will scream. You are doing a great job. I sometimes find it is best not to tell other people too much of what I'm doing (ie I let DS nurse to sleep, or gasp! I hold him for naps sometimes).

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  • Thank you all for your support and letting me vent. I agree, I do hear the "it's amazing my kids survived" thing a lot. I wrote her an e-mail and told her I just needed someone to listen, and she actually wrote back that she felt terrible last night with how she handled it, and she understood where I was coming from. I feel much better now that we talked about it.
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