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School-Aged Children
jettagurl
member
Kindy teasing help.....teachers?
jettagurl
member
So B started K today. He said all went well, he enjoyed it, loved recess of course, etc.
About an hour after he got home (convo sparked by him using the bathroom here), he told me that when he used the bathroom at school some other kids were calling him "gross" for pulling his pants to his knees to use the urinal. Then they called him a "girl" in the hallway after finishing in the bathroom. He told me he was sad about it, we talked about how those are not nice things, about maybe just pulling his pants down a little bit next time, etc.
I emailed the teacher, as B said he didn't tell her (totally his personality), and I think she should be aware.
So aside from all that, what would be the 'proper' thing to tell him to say?
"Stop looking at me, that's gross"
"That's not nice."
"I am a boy."
"Leave me alone."
Is there anything better? I want to tell him to tell them to F off, but, I'm biting my tongue. 
I also told him to tell the teacher when it happens next time.
Any other advice?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Kindy teasing help.....teachers?
Gah -- I had typed out a whole response to this, and my computer ate it! I'm so sorry something like this happened to mar your son's first day.
Anyway, in short, I think you are handling it the right way by affirming your son, giving him assertive responses, and letting the teacher know.
Also, know that incidents like this can happen early in kindergarten as a bunch of 5 year olds scramble to figure out how to be independent in a new "big kid" setting for the first time. Although I'd watch this like a hawk, I wouldn't assume that there are going to be ongoing problems for your son just yet.
My son's story: He started K last year at age 6, and was the second biggest kid in his class. In the first week of school, at recess, the only kid bigger than him grabbed him and threatened him on the playground, telling my son not to play with other kids, including my son's best friend from preschool. My son dreaded recess for a few weeks, and his BFF (also a shy, sensitive kid) was totally confused as to why my son wouldn't play with him! I let the teacher know; she said she'd keep an eye out, etc. Finally after about 10 days, my son realized that the bigger kid had moved on, and things got back to normal. Needless to say, though, I was mentally at DEF-CON 5 over it, although I tried to present a "you can handle it" facade to my son.
Well, as the year progressed, my son got to know the bigger kid better through class. They actually became pretty good friends. One day my son asked him about the earlier incident at recess. The other boy remembered it and said, "I wanted you to play with me!" My son said, "well why didn't you ask me? We would have let you play!"
Lessons learned all around.
Thanks ladies!
Auntie - thanks for that link. You always have good advice and this is no different. I know I'm getting all mama bear-ish about this, but I do realize some of these things he just has to work thru.
He's pretty timid, so the likelihood of him saying anything (or saying it loud enough) may be pretty slim. We talked about how it's not nice, and how he knows he's a boy, so he doesn't need to listen to them, or even say anything back if he doesn 't want to. My H talked to him about not pulling his pants down so far. I'm trying not to make it a bigger deal than B thinks it is, and hopefully it blows over in a couple days.