If you're still on maternity leave and your SO is back to work.....

melissa.1985 · August 2011

does your SO help out during the night? Our LO is such an amazing sleeper but I still have to wake her up to eat (until she's back up to her birth weight) and I'm getting so tired.

Does your SO help during the night or do you just let him sleep? If he does help, how? MH started work Monday and is already complaining how tired he is because he got up to feed her yesterday at 5:30 (I bf and supplement).

TrickyLittleMinx · August 2011

Nope!! I get up and do it myself. DH is up for work at 630 and sleeps all night long. DD is up about 2-3 times in the middle of the night. I find it easy to just BF lying down. DD sleeps with us after she gets up the second time. BF lying down allows me to relax while feeding and usually puts DD right back to sleep!!

ChocolateDiamond1 · August 2011

Nope.. I get up both times with her by myself. He is pretty worthless in the middle of the night!

TrickyLittleMinx · August 2011

Mind you - i live in Canada and we get a year of mat leave.

lacey321 · August 2011

I get up with DS through the night, I BF so it doesn't make much sense for DH to get up just to change his diaper and go back to bed. On the weekends he helps during the night if I need help though. DS sleeps for about 5-6 hours the first stretch and then 2-3 hours after that so I usually feel fairly rested since I get a good block of sleep when he first goes down for the night.

katiewhompus · August 2011

Sort of. H is usually up until 1am anyway so he will change diapers or give her a bottle of BM so I can sleep. After that I take over.

MustanGTbaby13 · August 2011

DH has never gotten up with me. We don't sleep in the same room because of his horrendous snoring. I also ebf. I have gone and gotten him twice to give me a break when she was up for 2 nights for over 2 hours, but other than that he is sttn....bastard.

We are starting to go over our typical 2 hour stretches now, which is nice!

Rachel5782 · August 2011

DH works 10 hour days so during the week he does not help me for night/early morning feedings. He does help me by putting him to bed if I don't want to do it. During the weekends, we split the night/early morning feedings so I can get some extra sleep. I figure I can nap during the day m-f if I need extra sleep. However, when I go back to work, we're going to have to split the feeding duties at night. I'm hoping he's STTN by then so neither of us will have to deal with it.

mbritto4 · August 2011

I SAH. But no he doesn't. If he's actually home he will get up with LO after 6 and if it's a work day he tries to not have a meeting until 8:30 or so, so I can sleep. Weekends he takes LO at 6 and lets me catch up on sleep. I FF but I'm a night person and he's a morning person so I'm better at night time. He just gets grumpy. I really hate he's gone m-f because I'm it for LO and the dog. Once night DD1 also got up in the middle of the night (unusual) so that was super fun.

flows912 · August 2011

My DH will stay up a little later (usually until 1am) while I go to bed around 10pm. He's always been a night owl and LO usualy has one feeding during this time (expressed bm). It's been a great help! But this was similar to our schedule before LO arrived - I would go to bed between 10-11 and DH would stay up for another 2-3 hours.

Jay_Cee · August 2011

Yes, he does. I'm EPing and pump once during the night. At that feeding (I get up when she does), the Mr. feeds her while I'm downstairs. I change her diaper and put her back to bed when I get back upstairs. I do all the other feedings, though (so 11:00/12:00 and 4:00). It works out well for us, and the Mr. often goes to bed before Adele and I go up so he can get some extra sleep.

Also, congrats Melissa! I don't think I said that to you yet.

catherine225 · August 2011

My husband does dreamfeed at 10-1030 pm, while I go to bed around 930. I wake up to do the ~4 am feeding, and then we all wake up by 7 am.

LacieMI · August 2011

During his work week, no my DH does not get up to care for LO. He works 11-12 hour days and I do all baby care during the nights when he has to get up at 5/5:30. Mind you, these days LO is STTN for 9-11 hours and we don't typically need to do a diaper change during that time, so there isn't a lot of baby care to be done! I do get up and pump twice throughout the night and will do anything that needs to be done while I'm already up. On DH's days off, he always gets up first after Sam's first morning feeding and they both go downstairs and I sleep for another 1-2 hours.

I return to work part-time next week. DH and I will split care nearly 50/50 due to our work schedules and desire to avoid outside childcare.

kpaivel · August 2011

At this point, I am only waking up once during the night to BF DD (usually around 4am). DH still gets up with me to change her diaper once she's done feeding. He works 9 hours during the day and so far he's managed to be an amazing helper during the night! :-)

kelsgreeneyes · August 2011

MH is a stubborn arse.... Smile So our night looks like this:

LO wakes up, he gets her and changes her diaper and goes back to bed. I make the bottle and then feed and rock her back to sleep.

The schedule is for me to get up with LO Sun-Thursday nights on my own. He gets Friday and Saturday nights. He feels like he HAS to help during the week and that I shouldnt do it all. I feel bad that he's getting up but he refuses to be the only one to sleep so he does a quick diaper change and sleeps again. I do love that he wants to be so involved and helpful though.

Spartanmama722 · August 2011

In the middle of the night, no, I generally let him sleep since he has to get up and be functional for work in the morning. However, we have an agreement that if DS is being fussy and wants to be up anytime after 5 am, DH will get up with him. He usually takes him out to the living room, that way I can get at least a 2 hour stretch of completely uninterrupted sleep before DH has to get ready for work.

M&M227 · August 2011

Dh puts her to bed (around 9) then will take het if she wakes uo before midnight, but she usually doesn't. I take the rest, unless she's having s really bad night and is up more often

Shelleybell · August 2011

fogleer:
She has fallen into a pattern of waking twice per night, and for a few weeks she has just eaten and gone right back to sleep, so the up time is only 1/2 an hour. I let DH choose every night if he wants the first or second waking and he decides based on which makes sense with when we go to bed, what time he has to work, etc. So I guess it's pretty 50/50 now.

this.

XSailoretteX · August 2011

No, DH isn't on baby duty at night. I breastfeed (no bottles or supplementing at this point). If DS needs his diaper changed, it is usually also time for a feeding. If DH wakes up, he'll get up and come check on us sometimes, ask me if I need anything, and go back to bed.

If he is a zombie during the day, he loses his job and we have to go live in a tent. If I'm a zombie during the day, I take a nap. Plus there's really nothing he can do to keep me from having to get up and feed DS.

NthnButMoonshine80 · August 2011

Last time I checked my sleep was just as important as DH's. I am a SAHM and he has to go into to office. I dont see his sleep as anymore or less important than mine when I still have a 3 year old to care for in addition to our newborn, and a house to clean and laundry to do and doctor's appointments to get to (DD has congenital hypothyroidism and between lab work and the endo, we are always going someplace!) and grocery shopping to finish and storytime and playdates to shuttle DS to... My point is, we both have tons to accomplish each day. When it was just DS, DH and I, yes, I got up almost exclusively to feed DS at night. Now that we have DS and DD, heck no! I dont have the opportunity to nap this time around with DS to care for during the day. Fortunately DD was a once a night feeder from the day we brought her home. DH and I would trade off nights tending to her. This way every other night we had a decent sleep. Even better now that she is STTN after her 11:30 dreamfeed. Now we trade off doing the dreamfeed. On the weekend, we each have a day to sleep in later and play catch up. My attitude is, he helped created this children, he can help care for this children regardless of the time on the clock.

DRN8302 · August 2011

As soon as DH went back to work, I did the feedings at night alone. On weekends, I make him get up and burp her and change her and put her back down so I can go to the bathroom, get a drink, etc. without being up longer.

Granted, DD2 is an awesome sleeper at night and it takes barely any time to get her fed and back down, and she's up only 2x a night. If I were super tired or exhausted, I would wake him up for at least one feeding, esp if you're supplementing. We're EBF now, so sometimes it's not worth his crankiness to get him up.

soxfan74 · August 2011

yes. We go to sleep after her late night feeding and DH gets up later and in the early am. He feeds her around 4:30 am and leaves for work at 5:30. He lets me sleep.

cherokeemomma87 · August 2011

I get up with both of our LO at night. Our 2 yo gets night terrors so he still wakes up during the night sometimes. And I will get up with him if he has one, the only time DH gets up with DS is when I am up nursing DD. But since DH works from home he gets up with DS in the morning and will let me sleep another hour or two (DD sleeps until around 9 usually).

MommaA117 · August 2011

I wish. I will be a SAHM aside from working 2 days a week at 13 weeks. He does not get up at night...in all fairness though he can't BF her

Since I don't work and he wakes up early for work, works about 50hrs a week until sometimes 11 at night I guess I understand...not saying that I don't get a little resentful sometimes. Then he steps up to help more on his days off....lol

anakalia10 · August 2011

Unfortunately, DS#1's sleep has regressed- so he is up with him at night while I feed DS#2 (EBF). Sometimes he does the diaper change- but usually only once per night

skio · August 2011

No. Once he went back to work at 3w pp, I told him he was off the hook from midnight until 7am so that he could get a good stretch of sleep. He works hard and he works long days - I didn't see how it was fair for him to be getting up when he had to go to work for 12 hours the next day while I sat at home. I'm not saying SAH is easy, but I at least have the option to nap while the baby naps, he doesn't. And he drives an hour to and from work - I don't want him doing that drive being all exhausted from waking up to change the baby and hand her off to me, which is kind of pointless, since I'm up anyway to BF.

When DD was waking up early to eat, he always had morning duties, though. I went back to bed after her morning feeding at 6 or 7 and he played with her while I slept another hour or two. Nowadays, she sleeps until 9, so we all get up together and he makes me breakfast while I nurse (he doesn't leave for work until 11am).

11kacey · August 2011

My husband gets up at five to go to work and gets home around 5:30pm so I do all of the night feedings and diaper changes during the week. On the weekends I still feed her (since I BF), but if she is super cranky I let him rock her for a bit while I go back to bed. I do not have another kid at home OR care about a clean house so I can nap if needs be during the day.

kevinslove · August 2011

I am not back to work yet (I start back to work this upcoming Monday), but my husband has been for 7 weeks. My thought is that our daughter is my job for now, and that includes getting up in the middle of the night to feed her. We formula feed, so he could get up in the middle of the night, but why should he get up in the middle of the night and be tired when he goes to work when I could do it and take a nap later.

There has been a couple of times when he has heard her cry before I have and he has willingly gotten up to feed her because he said I looked exhausted. We both agreed that we would take turns getting up in the middle of the night when I go back to work (since I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off, I will get up on Monday nights, Wednesday nights, and Saturday nights and he will get up on Tuesday night, Thursday night, Friday night, and Sunday night). Hopefully we will not have to get up in the middle night too much longer because she will hopefully be sleeping all the way through the night before too long.

hepcats · August 2011

I was doing it all but then I was losing my mind so now DH takes the last morning feed, usually between 6 & 730, and I do all the rest. It's tiring but I can at least nap during the day when he can't.

tokenhoser · August 2011

I let DH sleep. I started cosleeping pretty early on, and am still doing it. It's the only way I got enough sleep to feel good, so that's what we did. This way, I slept through most of his feeds. Now he starts off on his own and I bring him to bed with me when he wakes up at 2 or 3 am.

DH sometimes gets up to do a diaper change, but honestly... it's not that much help.

Birdies08 · August 2011

Yes, MH helps at night. He gives her a bath every other day before bed, He goes to sleep kind of late, so he'll snuggle LO for the first part of the night while I get some sleep. I EBF, so I have to do each feeding, but he changes her as needed through the night. I take some changes to be nice and let him sleep, but he's willing to do them all. He'll also sometimes take her for her morning wakefulness and let me sleep a little extra, depending on when he has to be at work.

It works really well for us!

march2008 · August 2011

DH helps me by changing DD's diaper, swaddling her and rocking her back to sleep after I BF her if he's not working the following day. Otherwise, I'm generally on my own during the middle of the night. He needs to be alert at work, so I understand. He does help out a lot when he gets home from work - he cooks our dinners and will watch DD for a little while so I can have some time to myself to go on the elliptical or whatever I want to do. DD has recently started only waking me twice during the night, so it's not so bad nowadays.

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If you're still on maternity leave and your SO is back to work.....

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