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Should I even bother w/ a WTF appt?

Mahon BabyMahon Baby member
in Success after IF

DH and I can't afford another IVF cycle and I'm thinking I'm wasting the RE's time by going.  I mean, does it really matter at this point WTF happened?  Bottom line..I'm not pregnant and there's no round 2.

My DH thinks I should atleast go to say thank you for all he's done so he doesn't think we're walking off resentful.  I agree but I'm worried I'm going to leave his office thinking "maybe we could squeeze one more out".  WHICH I KNOW WE CAN'T!!

I'm thinking about asking about embryo adoption which I know his office offers.  But am I setting myself up for more disappointment?  Are my chances any better with a FET (not my embryo) at 41? 

From what I understand, adopted embryos cost no more than a FET which is only a few thousand, right?  I think we can work that but what are our odds?

I'm sorry, I'm all over the place here!!  I just don't know if I should go to the appt.  Thanks for listening to my babbling and I'll take whatever info or opinion you'd like to share!

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Re: Should I even bother w/ a WTF appt?

  • howleyshellhowleyshell member
    imageMahon Baby:

    My DH thinks I should atleast go to say thank you for all he's done so he doesn't think we're walking off resentful.  

    Ummm... he's a doctor not your BFF.  I highly doubt he takes it personally when people discontinue treatment, KWIM?

    You PAY for a WTF appt, right?  No need to pay the man to say "thanks but we're done"

    As for embryo adoption?  I'd totally go if you want to explore that option and to answer your question your chances would be VASTLY improved using the embryo of a younger woman.  If your heart wants more kids but your pocket book and patience can't handle more cycles facing the odds of an older egg/embryo I'd totally be looking in this direction as a much more affordable and promising option.

    Your eggs age.  Your uterus hangs in there just fine.  Hence... you read those crazy stories about women in their 50's and 60's carrying babies for their daughters, etc. 

    One of my gal pals has a son from embryo adoption.  It's an amazing thing!!  She thought it was the best of all worlds - adoption without the stress of parents backing out, without the insane costs and she still got to be pregnant with and BF her son.

     And don't you dare feel bad for babbling.  You're dealing with a really rough loss and you're trying to figure out your options.  This is what we're here for!

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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  • Jessica&BobbyJessica&Bobby
    Maybe you can call him and let him know that you can't afford another round and thank him for his help?
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  • RoxBrideRoxBride member

    I think I'd go, not for your husband's reasons, but so you know what the options are, even if you feel they are unreachable.

    I'm sorry.

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  • pinkcallalilypinkcallalily member
    I think I'd go because it sounds like you haven't completely ruled out all options.  If you are at all interested in embryo adoption it doesn't hurt to go ahead and talk to your RE about it.
    It took 3 1/2 long years, but we finally got our little miracle!
    IVF #1 - BFP (6dt)
    Unassisted Pregnancy #2 - lost at 15w6d due to T21, severe heart defects, and fetal hydrops

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