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Single Parents
new here :(
Hello! I am using a very old AE that I don't think anyone would know me as anymore. Here is my story and I hope to get to know you better on here:
I hate to admit, I will be embarking on as a single parent in the future. My husband of 3 years has told me he regret marrying me and that he never loved me even though he cares for me. He told me this 2 years ago and even told our pastor 3 times that he did not love me and wanted a divorce. I couldn't believe it then because we didn't fight and he always did kind things for me daily. He changed his mind about 2 weeks after counseling. He confessed 3 weeks ago that his feelings never changed as he had hoped it would. He did say that he still wanted to be a good husband but couldn't provide for me in the love department and that he would be happy if I found a man as a best friend. He also said that my disability is something that bothers him more than he thought it would and it is too big of an issue for him.
I told him I can't pretend and by allowing him to continue to pretend, then our marriage is based on a lie. So I kicked him out of our bedroom. After some talks, he wants to divorce but still live together as roommates so we can both be there for our 10 months old son that we both dearly love.
I don't yet have a plan for the future yet and need to figure out something. For the time being, I am sharing a room with my son. I am taking an effort to spend more time with people I trust at church but it is hard because the concept of our divorce is not really understood by people of faith but I have to follow my gut feelings for what is best for me. I don't want to punish myself anymore and it sounds like my husband needs a lot of help but I am not in the position to help him as I need to take care of my self so I can be a healthy mom for my son.
My family is out of state so I am kind of stuck not being able to be with them so I got to make the best of what I got.
Do anyone have any tips for what I should be planning for my impending divorce and my right as a parent?
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Re: new here :(
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My best advice is counseling and lawyer up. You have to know your rights as a parent. Make sure you document everything in regards to visitation, etc. But definitely going to see a lawyer should be your first step.
BTW: the roommate idea will not work.
Thanks for your input. As far as roommate idea, we just sold our home and have to move into a rental tomorrow. I live in a very high cost of living in the Bay Area and don't know anyone at the moment I can roommate with. Hopefully I will have a plan soon.
I'm sorry you're going through this, as I'm going through almost the exact same thing. He's been telling me recently that he regrets the majority of our relationship (10 years) and that he thinks that it may be possible for him to love someone else more.
It sucks, bad. To love someone unconditionally that doesn't feel the same way back tears you apart inside. We have a 5 year old and a baby that is due any day now. It BLOWS. I've been a SAHM for over a year and don't know how we'd get by if we moved out.
I wish you the best of luck.