Afraid to hold your baby?

mariposa_atl · August 2011

Fortunately, our little girl is doing very well. She is 3 weeks old, 32 weeks gestational age and we are at a point where we can hold her and do kangaroo care once a day. But it makes me so nervous! Her oxygen levels desaturate and the alarm goes off at least one time while we are holding her. Whereas when she is in her bed, she does great. The nurses are not concerned and say this is all normal and we should stay calm. Has anyone else ever been afraid to hold your baby? I also worry about passing germs to her. How did you get over this.

jjilly7 · August 2011

i was terrified, and it took me about a week to get over it. My husband held noah as soon as he was allowed. It also took me a couple more weeks to be able to take him out of the isolette myself. as for kangaroo, i was VERY nervous and not sure about it, the nurse i had that night was pushy, but in a good way, and she put noah on my chest, cause i was too scared to do so, after that, i was better, but still asked for help doing it. it gets better, just go at your comfort level, the nurses are helpful, and will guide you.

ChickensFive · August 2011

I was only afraid to hold them in the very beginning when they were so small; I was more afraid of taking their temp or diaper changes when they had IV's.

Your LO is probaby desatting when you hold her because she gets so comfortable with you. It probably makes her feel like she's back inuteru (sp). One of my girls stopped breathing while I held her and had to be bagged. The nurse said she probably felt like she was back in the womb where she didn't have to breath. Or maybe she told me that to make me feel better.....like when parents tell their kid Fido went to live on a farm with other dogs to play with when it was really put to sleep. *shrug* Eitherway, it comforted me.

Don't be scared to hold her your LO will grow out of their breathing issues.

kck329 · August 2011

ChickensFive:
I was only afraid to hold them in the very beginning when they were so small; I was more afraid of taking their temp or diaper changes when they had IV's.
Your LO is probaby desatting when you hold her because she gets so comfortable with you. It probably makes her feel like she's back inuteru (sp). One of my girls stopped breathing while I held her and had to be bagged. The nurse said she probably felt like she was back in the womb where she didn't have to breath. Or maybe she told me that to make me feel better.....like when parents tell their kid Fido went to live on a farm with other dogs to play with when it was really put to sleep. *shrug* Eitherway, it comforted me.
Don't be scared to hold her your LO will grow out of their breathing issues.

All of this exactly. And my nurses told me that too so maybe its true Keep trying, talk to the nurses so you know how to respond, and it will get less scary. It might also help if you focus on how much kangaroo care does for your LO's development--helps with breathing, growth, etc. Good luck!

mariposa_atl · August 2011

Thanks ladies for responding. The idea that my baby is desatting because she feels so comfortable on my chest does make me feel better.

MrsLee22 · August 2011

Unfortunately you just have to bite the bullet and DO it... it's terrifying but it gets better! The benefits just so far outweigh the risks.

Rachie_B · August 2011

Sophia was not allowed to be held during her first week. We were lucky that we had a nurse who was "pushy" in a good way and encouraged me to start taking her temperature and changing her diaper during that first week. This made me more comfortable with all the wires and oxygen.

Easter Sunday, 6 days after her birth I came in to visit her and the nurse looked at me and said "I have a present" she said she talked one of the doctors into allowing me to hold her for the first time!! I was scared to death, but so excited. She had me sit in a big recliner, wrapped her warmly and handed her to me!! It was the most wonderful feeling! Actually holding her!! She was so tiny!!

The next day we were allowed to start Kangarooing with her. For the first few days of Kangarooing we had the nurse help us get her from the isolette to our chests. Finally I started feeling more comfortable with everything and I would put her back in her isolette. Then I started feeling comfortable picking her up for Kangarooing and swaddling her when we wanted to hold her. It took my husband much longer to feel comfortable getting her out and putting her back into the isolette. It's funny, my dad (a nurse) was scared to even touch her for weeks!!

When she was able to start wearing clothes I would get a little help until I felt comfortable with picking her up in the isolette to changer her.

The more you do it, the more comfortable you will get!! :-)

J&MsMom · August 2011

I keep wondering why Max would destat so much when I held him. This makes me feel better.

mrsmacias2008 · August 2011

at the beginning it was tough. Especially when they had the CPAP on for the first two days. I was so nervous and scared. But as soon as I held them, it made me feel so much better and anything I could do to help them along was fine by me.

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