- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
February 2011 Moms
CIO/Ferber update
So awhile back I said I was gonna do it cause I found out I was pregnant again. Here are the results:
Night 1 - she cried for 3.5 hours straight!
Night 2 - she cried for 1.5 hours straight
Night 3 - cried for 2 20 minute sessions
Night 4 and current - goes down at 9pm, sleeps til 7am!
We're still working out nap times now. They were pretty steady before the sleep training, but now she takes 2-3 naps a day ranging from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours. Oh well. The night time sleeping was I all I really needed anyway. AND, she finally learned from CIO to flip from her belly to back so now she doesn't get stuck anymore. I guess it just took her getting angry to figure it out!
Wish I would have done it sooner honestly.... 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: CIO/Ferber update
I'm not familiar with CIO or Ferber and I also got [very] lucky that DD prefers to lay down and fall alseep herself, so absolutely no flame intended, but I could not imagine hearing my baby cry for 3.5 hours. I think I would have felt so bad that I would be probably be crying too.haha. I guess your post just made me curious and I am just wondering what your nighttime routine was before starting this method?
Oh yes. It was awful. And i made it worse because I laid down on the floor in her room and listened to it the whole time. I think it was because I tried Ferber first and tried comforting her every 10 minutes or so which probably made it worse.
Before this she was was going down around 9:30, sleeping til 11:30 and woke up crying had to be put back to sleep, awake at 2ish crying, had to be put back to sleep, sometimes wouldn't calm down. If she did go back to sleep at 2, she'd wake up at 4 crying and wouldn't go back to sleep until I brought her bed with me. If she wouldn't go down at 2, sometimes then I'd have to bring her to bed then! (No flames for co-sleeping please. I barely slept, didn't move when I sleep, and would wedge a pillow between her and DH so he couldn't even roll towards her. I know its not safe or good for either of us, it was the only way for me to get a few hours of sleep.) Then she'd wake up around 8ish and be up for the day besides naps.
Oh, and we tried bottles when she woke up at night. Didn't change a THING.
It was not fun. And now that I'm pregnant and exhausted all the time, 6 hours of totally interrupted sleep won't cut it.
just out of curiousity did you track her sleep times and her sleep cues? ferber suggests that in order to find the best sleep time. to be honest, I have ferberized twice and my children have never cried 3.5 hours....
Just because you want them to go to bed at a certain time doesnt mean that is their "best" bedtime.
Just a thought...because 3.5 hours is a Long time for a baby to be crying with ferber....
20 minutes makes me sad, 1.5 hours makes my heart break and 3.5 hours just makes me mad.
Sorry to be judgmental, but this just seems horrible to me. "To each his own" I guess...
Yes. Usually she falls asleep on her own around 9 and at the time was waking up around 5 am and then sleeping in bed with us until 8 or so. I wasn't forcing her to go to bed at any particular time. We don't have an issue with her falling asleep, its the staying asleep part.
This particular night she went to bed at 9, slept until 1 and then woke up rolling and turning over and fussing (not really crying.) I rocked her and calmed her down, she fell back asleep so I put her in bed. 10 minutes later she woke up and I went in, calmed her, put in her paci and laid down on the floor next to her bed. Getting up to calm her every 10 or 15 minutes. There was nothing wrong with her. She just had SEVERE separation anxiety because we waited too long to sleep train her, and she was completely used to me coming in to calm her or sleeping with Mommy (which I did every night and sometimes at naps durning the day.) Honestly, I shouldn't have "calmed" her every 15 minutes because I think that just kept reminding her that I was there. Silvie has always been a very stubborn baby and a difficult eater and sleeper, so I knew this would be difficult.
And it wasn't 3.5 hours of constant screaming. She's cry for 20-45 minutes, then whimper and drift off for 5-10 minutes or so. Then wake up and start winding up again.
For those ladies that think I was being cruel. Honestly, try laying in that room with your crying baby for 4 hours and not cry yourself. I felt like I was in physical pain and I honestly don't recommend it for anyone. I called the pediatrician and asked what I should do about her not sleeping through the night. She told me just to let her CIO and not even visit her. I couldn't do that. I worried too much that she'd choke or something. The pediatrician said that she NEEDED to learn how to comfort herself and sleep through the night for her OWN HEALTH. That what we were doing was actually detrimental to her development.
But make your own judgments. I posted this to help those contemplating Ferber/CIO and sleep training and to share my experience. I hope it gave some insight to those thinking about it.
I'm glad it worked for you after just a few nights, I am sure it was rough. I'm pretty sure you don't need validation from me, but please don't listen to people who say your baby gave up on you. I am sure when she woke the next morning she was all smiles. Babies need to learn to sleep on their own. I am still having a problem with DS. He almost always needs to be rocked to sleep. I am the selfish one who rocks him so that he falls asleep faster, and then I get to get right back in bed. If I let him figure it out on his own, he would be STTN like his sister.
Ok, I guess I was confused. I thought these methods are for when you first put your baby down at night. But, it is actually for when she wakes up crying and the approach is not to respond? I'm really not trying to be an idiot about it, just trying to understand. I would never be able to do this because my heart would break.
My approach is laying her down with love/kisses/lullabies (like we all do, I'm sure) then walk out of the room. If she fusses I come in without saying anything and can get away without her seeing [making eye contact with me] most of the time, help her get comfortable again with her Nuk & lovey blanket. Oh, she also has a fisher price aquarium that makes water noise and that's a big no-no these days too. I'm a nurturer, maybe too much, who knows, but it works for us. As this may for you. Every Mother has a different approach, there is no right or wrong. My method may be horrible to some, as this seems to me.
This is an asinine comment.
OP, I know it wasn't easy, but I'm glad it worked for you. As parents, we make tough choices at the time that help our children in the long run. Hell, I had to clean snot off DD's face this morning and suction it out of her nose. She screamed bloody murder at me like I was beating her. You think I stopped cleaning her up, because she didn't like it in that moment? You do what you have to do as a parent to make your child better in the long run, whether it's ferber, pu/pd, etc.
People may give you guff for your choices but until I am 6 weeks pregnant and dealing with a 6 month old who doesn't STTN then I will not judge. I was beyond exhausted my 1st trimester and I couldn't imagine being in your spot right now.
Besides, when you said she cried for 3.5 hours I didn't think she cried continiously for 3.5 hours. I don't know you personally but from your posts I do not get the vibe that you could do that.
My mom let my sisters and I CIO. None of us are emotionally stunted, and I still call my mom when I am sick because I need to hear her voice to feel better. I haven't "given up on her" because she let me cry when I was a baby. My baby cries like a banshee when he is in his carseat. So as not to stunt his emotional development, I should probably put him on my lap when I am driving to assure him that I have not abandoned him. Jesus.
OP, I'm glad CIO worked for you. We will be trying it in a couple weeks if A doesn't learn to put himself to sleep and stay asleep. Lack of sleep is not healthy for the parents OR the baby.