Driving after giving birth?

Megan0426 · August 2011

My Dad lives in Michigan, and he and my step mom have a flight to come out here 14 days after my due date. He asked me to come and get him from the airport which is an hour and 20 min drive from our house. I know that I will be sore after 2 weeks, but the more I'm thinking about it, is it disrespectful of him to expect me to go get him after 2 weeks of giving birth?? Then I started thinking, if she comes late, that will be less time to heal? And if I have a c-section, I won't be able to drive period during that time? My husband can't take any time off work, since he's taking a week when she comes, and I'm not asking my MIL to do it.

I suggested he book a rental, and if I feel up to it we could cancel, but he did NOT like that idea. He's one of those people who doesn't want to be inconvenienced... but excuse the he** out of me, I'm the one that just gave birth!

mabma80 · August 2011

I would stick to my guns and say "Hey that's to close to me giving birth, and IF the baby is not late." And if he is unhappy with it, oh well. Everybody heals at their own pace and he can't expect you to drive for over an hour to pick them up. Just apologize and say that's how it is. Sorry. If they really want to see the baby, they'll shut up about it and just do it.

Sometimes, you just have to put your foot down.

mooninlv · August 2011

personally i don't see what the big deal about driving a couple weeks after you have a baby is. unless you have some complications or something else going on, it shouldn't be an issue. and you *might* be sore for a couple weeks after, or there's a good chance you'll feel better sooner. either way, shouldn't affect your ability to drive.

+diana82+ · August 2011

You could still theoretically be having the baby or recovering in the hospital at 14 days past your EDD. Make him hire a car or a cab if he doesn't want a rental. He's an adult.

jpsquared · August 2011

mabma80:
If they really want to see the baby, they'll shut up about it and just do it.

This. Does your step mom know this is his plan? Maybe he's just being thoughtless?

It seems like a lot of unnecessary hassle for you. You are not supposed to be entertaining them--they're supposed to be coming to help you and welcome their new grand-baby. If they don't want to do that, they can wait until it's more convenient for you.

Megan0426 · August 2011

Everyone that I've talked to says, there's just too much "unknown". Like, I may be bleeding heavily still and a 3 hour car ride will be very uncomfortable, not just because of that, but also soreness. And also, that a 3 hour car ride is WAY to long for a newborn when they're fed every couple hours. (Assuming I would feed her right before we left)

He's always been like this, but I feel like damn, this is the one time where I'm not going to cater to you and you need to be a big boy. After all, I thought I was the one that was supposed to have as less stress as possible on top of taking care of a newborn.

Stardust54 · August 2011

Yeah, I had significant tearing and I was not allowed to drive for 2 weeks. A lot of women will say their dr said the same thing but drove anyway, which isn't a good idea. My dr. explained that where the wounds are you are way more hesitant to slam on your brakes if you need to because of the pain/stitches etc, and your reaction time is slower. I wouldn't chance it, especially since you'll have your LO in the car. If your Dad is so intent on coming so close to you giving birth then he needs to deal with what comes along with it...which is sometimes doctors orders that you can't drive. Its not your choice....Good luck, sorry you have to deal with that.

Maybride2 · August 2011

Your father is being a thoughtless jerk. Driving anywhere - let alone 3 hours roundtrip - was the last thing on my mind those first few weeks at home with a newborn. Since I had a c/s, I wasn't even allowed to drive for 2 weeks.

I'd seriously tell your dad to go fly a kite if he still insisted that you act as his taxi while you're supposed to be at home recovering from childbirth and taking care of your newborn.

ababymaybe · August 2011

No way in hell would I be doing that! Even if you're permitted to, that sounds beyond uncomfortable. Not to mention, that is a long time to take LO on a trip when you're still getting used to baby-- if baby starts to fuss etc it will be really stressful.

Can you just say your doctor nixed the idea? Nothing over 15-20 min drive til you're cleared at 6 weeks postpartum? Maybe that will put an end to his complaining.

katiegal · August 2011

That really seems inconsiderate of your father. Even if you are all healed up, I can't imagine making a 3 hour RT with a newborn. Maybe because I'm a FTM but I definitely wouldn't want to do it! If you're worried about confronting/standing up to him, could you tell him a white lie? Maybe just say you talked to your doc and he/she says no driving for you. Your dad should rent a car or arrange for a car service on his own. Having you figure it all out for him when he knows you have so much other stuff going on is just beyond me. Good luck!

SailorGray · August 2011

Megan0426:

Everyone that I've talked to says, there's just too much "unknown". Like, I may be bleeding heavily still and a 3 hour car ride will be very uncomfortable, not just because of that, but also soreness. And also, that a 3 hour car ride is WAY to long for a newborn when they're fed every couple hours. (Assuming I would feed her right before we left)

He's always been like this, but I feel like damn, this is the one time where I'm not going to cater to you and you need to be a big boy. After all, I thought I was the one that was supposed to have as less stress as possible on top of taking care of a newborn.

My DS was 8 days late and I wasn't allowed to drive for 2 weeks and I had your normal vaginal delivery with some tearing that required stitches. I am pretty relaxed and would not have been comfortable driving that long. I would be fine if I were a passenger, but not as a driver. Plus, you have to take into account your milk and toting a newborn, etc. Just tell him that you talked to your doc and the doc strongly advised against it since you have no idea when you will have the baby or what will be happening at that point. Hell, my Dad drove two hours to my house to take DS and me to the pedi 30 minutes away b/c I wasn't able to drive. You could offer to go halfsies on the rental.

Lissa832 · August 2011

Even with a vaginal birth, I wasn't permitted to drive for two weeks after DS was born. I was advised that if I ignored the doctor's order and was in an accident, my insurance didn't have to cover any of it. I think it is a *** move to expect anything from you so soon after giving birth.

futuremrsmcnichols · August 2011

My doctor's rules are 2 weeks of no driving or lifting anything heavier than your baby after a vaginal delivery, 3 weeks after a c-section. That's cutting it too close for me! So I'd tell him either rent a car or come at a later time!

jessicaclare · August 2011

I was given the ok for minimal driving a few days after a vaginal birth, but only if I felt I could handle it, and only around the town type of stuff. I was fine with driving, but sitting for 3 hours roundtrip to the airport would be pretty uncomfortable if you're still healing.

There really are too many unknowns, what if baby is late, what if baby needs NICU time, what if, what if, what if. Tell your Dad to hire a car service and call it a day.

bhw5660 · August 2011

You need to tell him that you aren't able to pick him up. It is too close and you will not be allowed to drive. I heard that pediatricians often only see the dads at the first baby visit because mom can't drive yet. So if you can't drive down the street to the doctor then you certainly can't make a 3 hr. trip so soon. I know you don't want to inconvenience DH and I also don't know his schedule but if he works a 9-5, could he do the airport run after work? Your dad would have to wait a few hours or so but oh well. My parents also don't always plan very well with their airline tickets and have had to wait until my sister and I can get off work and drive the hour and half to pick them up. They usually try to get something to eat during this time.

cate42807 · August 2011

I would definitely put your foot down. My mom suggested that my husband leave the hospital (with me in labor hypothetically) to go pick them up at the airport. Which I thought was crazy and disrespectful to my DH's feelings.

I gave her a couple of choices: 1) They wait a week after delivery and my DH WILL go pick them up at the airport 2) They rent a car and we will give them directions and leave them a key or 3) They wait until 4 days post delivery when we are home from the hospital and they take the commuter rail from the airport and we will pick them up at the train 15 minutes from us. AND because we are 6 hours away, they also always have the option to drive if they like.

Honestly after I gave her the options I think she is leaning toward rental car or driving the whole way... and I felt better because I gave her some choices. I think the most important thing for you is to realize you aren't being unreasonable, you are being a MOM and putting your new baby and your recovery first, which is what you should be doing.

blu-eyedwife · August 2011

On top of everything already pointed out - he needs to have his own transportation while he's there. What happens if he needs to run to the store, or go pick something up you need? There is no way you can be chauffeuring him around with a new baby at home.

CAM2007 · August 2011

I think your idea of booking a rental and canceling if you feel up to driving seems reasonable.

katiewhompus · August 2011

I wouldn't do it. I had a 3rd degree tear and am just now able to sit in a car comfortably for about 20 minutes. You also need to think about you mental awareness for driving a long ways that early. I'm nott going to say that you will be getting no sleep, but you definitely won't be well rested the first few weeks.

soontobemamabair · August 2011

I was told that I couldn't drive for 2 weeks after birth. We're planning a natural birth. I'm not sure why the same rules wouldn't apply to you. Even if you only tell your dad, you aren't able to drive 2 weeks after birth. There is NO reason why your father should expect you to bring your new baby on an hour long car ride to pick him up from the airport. I cringe thinking of all the germs now! I'd say that he needs to get a car and drive himself to you, your right you did just have a baby!! GL

cynth1 · August 2011

I had a C-section and was not allowed to drive for 6 weeks. My cousin had a vaginal birth and had a 4th degree tear and was also not allowed then to drive for 6 weeks. So I would not be making that drive.

Megan0426 · August 2011

I'm sitting here almost in tears because I know you ladies are right. And it just reminds me what kind of person he is. First off, any visit that I make home I spend minimal time with him because we just don't get along that great. So needless to say i'm not SUPER excited about seeing him but my step mom is the greatest in the world. I'm actually amazed, she didn't say something about it before he asked about this request.

Thank you so much ladies!!!

katxattack · August 2011

cynth1:
I had a C-section and was not allowed to drive for 6 weeks. My cousin had a vaginal birth and had a 4th degree tear and was also not allowed then to drive for 6 weeks. So I would not be making that drive.

No driving for 6 weeks? is that the norm for a c section???

tuluwen · August 2011

mooninlv:
personally i don't see what the big deal about driving a couple weeks after you have a baby is. unless you have some complications or something else going on, it shouldn't be an issue. and you *might* be sore for a couple weeks after, or there's a good chance you'll feel better sooner. either way, shouldn't affect your ability to drive.

Normally I would agree, but for him to actually be depending on her to come get him is unwise since they don't know for sure what day the baby will come. I would say book the rental and cancel it if you feel up to driving on that day. It would be bad if you planned on driving to get him and then ended up going into labor that day or the day before and he was stuck without a way to get to your house.

shortstuff15 · August 2011

While I agree that your Dad shouldn't be relying on you for transportation at that point, I am baffled as to why you shouldn't drive? My doctor mentioned nothing about not driving and I would have driven to my daughters first doctors appointment a week afterwards, but my husband was still home then. I did have to go to town about 1 1/2 weeks after baby was born and I did that trip all by myself. I was gone probably 4 hours total (30 minute drive to town, about 2 hours in town, 30 minute drive back) and was totally fine. I wouldn't have any hesitation about driving, but having somebody relying on me to be their transportation, that I would have an issue with!

bhw5660 · August 2011

Awww...sorry that your father is this way. You should probably talk to your stepmom about it since you seem to have a good relationship with her and she probably will understand why you can't/shouldn't drive. Good luck and it will work out in the end. Your focus should be your new family as well as your health during that time and not trying to deal with inconsiderate people.

water-fairy · August 2011

I was gladly driving a week after birth, just couldn't wait to feel "human" again, but I was still sore. Anyway, it is totally up to you if you feel like driving people back and forth or not. Remember you'll also have a newborn, who may want to nurse, be changed and whatnot. It's not just you by then. Tell them to find their own transportation. If they still don't hear it, tell them the doctor forbids you to drive for "you pick a number" weeks after giving birth. It is totally disrespectful of them to expect this thing from you.

Megan0426 · August 2011

Talked to the MW yesterday (they were calling to confirm my appt Wed) and I asked her since I had her on the phone. She did say as a general rule for "no to little tearing" they say no driving for 2 weeks period. After those 2 weeks little trips are fine, but she said she didn't think I'd be up for an hour and 20 mins each way. I didnt ask her about c-section though.

So I called my step mom today and she said she already booked the rental car without telling my dad. She said she knew it would be way to early for me to make a long trip with the baby in tow. My Dad called today after he found out and said, "you really don't think you'll be able to do that after 2 weeks". I told him that there was just way too many "unknowns" and that if he wanted to visit, I had no problem with them visiting and staying at our house, but I was not going to come get them while this was my time for my little body to heal and recover and to take care of my new baby. Nuff said!

Thanks ladies!!

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