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Advice please!

materialgirl79materialgirl79
in Blended Families

My husband and I just got married in June and started trying for a baby right away...and holy cow it worked right off the bat! We're 4 weeks pregnant! We are both still in shock. I need some advice on how best to tell his 12 year old daughter that she is going to be a sister. Her mom and friends that have siblings have been on the "being an only child is the best" train for years now and I don't know how she's going to react to finding this news out, so I want to figure out the best way to tell her. Thanks in advance! 

 

 

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Re: Advice please!

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    karleegirlkarleegirl member
    Honestly I wouldn't let her know yet. I would wait till you are out of the 1st tri or until you have first ms visit. When you do tell her try to include her somehow (looking at baby clothes, how great of a sister that kind of thing. I have a 16 yr old from a previous relationship. Dh and I have a 4 yr old and one on the way. My 16 yr old loves his liitle brother but is pissed about this pregnancy. He won't talk about it at all. I'm trying to give him space right now.
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    cynjo21cynjo21

    Definitely wait until you're out of your 1st tri.  Try to tell her about all the positives that come with being a big sister, and let her know that she is still very important to both of you.  If she does get upset just give her time.

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    Jessys_GirlJessys_Girl
    Honestly, I'd play it up as "the best of both worlds"  Talk to her about how it's been great to be an only child for as long as she has been and how it's great that she'll still be an only child at her mom's, but that now she gets to ALSO have the awesome experience of being a big sister.  Tell her that this is just one more perk of living in a blended family is that she gets to have it both ways, only child and big sister.
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    Cash8812Cash8812
    I was in the same boat. My fiance has a daughter and he took her out and spent an evening with her. He sat her down and told her that he had very big news and told her. She was allowed to voice her concerns in a mature manner. i warn you, she didn't take it too well. Have him explain to her that she will always be his girl and the new baby will change things, but never the bond between them. we waited for us to be three months because that was what was suggested by the doctor. He told her that if she had any questions or anything to ask us. 
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    britzymamabritzymama
    Yes I agree with the other posters, wait until your through your 1st trimester at least.  We didn't tell my Hubby's kids until 2nd trimester.  They are younger, however, I was still a little nervous.  But we told them and they were just fine.  And the best advice would be to let her know that you love her very much and that your love for her will never change.  Also advice when you LO arrives is to not be too focused with the baby also remember that your step daughter needs attention too so she doesn't feel forgotten.
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