My cousin has been my bff but lately she is really getting to me. She left her husband 3 years ago and the divorce will be final 2 years ago in October. She was my MOH in my wedding and did nothing to help, she sulked the entire time. Since I too have been divorced I just thought, she isn't ready for this, and I didn't say anything. But now her sister is getting married and she is so excited. She asked me if I was excited I replied "well i'm excited for her, but i'm not excited" she just badgered me "why aren't you excited?" I replied "Its not my wedding, I'm not in the wedding, but like I said I'm excited for her". I was a little hurt that she was consumed with self pity during my wedding but overjoyed for her sisters. I didn't say anything until we were at BRU and I got so excited about something I found, she said "this isn't my type of store, I'm trying to be very patient, this store makes me sad" then she walked to the craft store next door without telling me she was leaving. I later asked her about why it made her sad and she started in on the whole "poor me poor me" thing. I then explained (very kindly) that she was hurting my feelings that she refuses to share in any of my excitement when we've been friends for so long but that she gets mad at me if I'm not jumping up and down for her sister.
We had a long talk and I explained to her that she would eventually meet a good guy and have a family. She explained to me that she isn't ready to be excited for me, she said "maybe if your wedding was 6 months later I would have been excited for you, but it wasn't and no one asked me if it was alright that you had a baby" then she proceded to call me selfish because "its always about EB's perfect life" She also told me she wasn't going to be fake about it, then eventually she apologized for not showing any excitement. BUT then she said "well arent' you going to say your sorry" I just looked at her like wth? and she said "aren't you sorry that I'm hurting" I said of course I am but 3 years later, you should at least be at a point where you can accept that good things are happening for other people.
It may not sound like it but it actually was a good talk, it ended well and I feel like we both expressed our feelings. But I'm still completely confused about how she could call me selfish and in the same breath say that no one asked her if it was ok for us to have baby? I'm going to see her again in a couple of days and while the conversation ended well, I can't stop thinking about how "selfish" I am according to her.I'm in complete disbelief. Why is this bothering me this bad?