Weight gain scrutiny

TeacherVicky · July 2011

(bumping from phone) My mom drives me crazy. She is always making comments/asking questions about my weight gain. Let me preface by saying that she has been obsessed/critical of my weight since grade 10. Well of course the first thing she asked me this weekend (DH and I are at my parents cottage for the weekend) is how much weight I put on when being weighed at my appt on Thursday. 3 lbs (in two weeks). Her response: "Oh well that's ok. Much better than your last 9 lbs weigh in." She makes me feel like a fatty. My sister (who has always been slim) only gained 23 lbs with her DD and my mom always compares me to that (I've put on around 30 so far). I know I should talk to her about it but I'm just feeling so hormonal lately (re: anything makes me cry) that I just don't want to bother. And now she's asked me to come spend the september long weekend with me in case the baby comes early. Lovely. Sorry - vent over, thanks for *listening*.

itsmegin · July 2011

Ugh I'm so sorry, that's awful, and awful that you've dealt with her doing that your whole life.

My mom was one of those perfect pregnant women and tracked her food and calories and only gained like 25lbs (I've gained 27 as of my appt. at 28 weeks) so I feel your pain. I try to ignore her, but it's hard.

You should just lie if it comes up again, or say something like, "My doctor said I've gained the perfect amount!" if you don't want to outright lie about the numbers. It's none of her business how much you've gained.

allybaby85 · July 2011

Kudos to you for keeping your mouth shut I would have let her have iy, then I'm sure DH would have went off too. Weight is not permanent and having a health LO is more important than anything. I wouldn't even acknowledge her question next time she asks. Just tell her its none of her business!

jillcanada · July 2011

Tell her you know someone who has gained 35 pounds and still has 8 weeks to go! If your doctor is not concerned, then you should just tell her that. It's so frustrating though since you are pregnant and of course you are going to gain weight. No need to analyze it for you!

SheLovesMrHip · July 2011

I am sorry that she seems to be so critical of you, that really isn't fair at all. If I were her daughter I am sure she would flip because I know I have put on the lbs!! Hang in there, I am sure you look beautiful and tiny!!

ksulli · July 2011

Sounds like my mom, but she let up for the pregnancy. I gained 40, and 4w out I'm down 35. I have a good friend that gained 55 and within 3mos was back down to 5 below where she started from. Your body does what it needs to to grow that baby, so just make sure you're taking care of yourself, and blow your mom's comments off as part of her issues, not yours.

mgduke19 · July 2011

I bet if you start asking her the same question when you see her, she'll stop. I was getting very annoyed by everyone thinking it was alright to just rub my belly whenever they felt like it, so I started doing it back. Sure enough, they stopped right away. Good luck and I'm sure you look perfect and healthy LO certainly appreciates the weight gain.

rock-elle · July 2011

Thats rotten, I'm sorry. MIL is like that too, and she is not one to talk lets say Angry

BobbiJanay07 · July 2011

My mom doesn't ask she just calls me fat. My daddy is the numbers obsessed one, has been since I was in high school. It is hard when neither of them have ever been thin.

pennynjon · July 2011

I am sorry. That would bother me too. Maybe your could tell her it bothers you. But I don't know how you feel about doing that...or if she would even change.

D&D4Ever7 · July 2011

Oh no, I am sorry your mom is comparing your weight gain to your sister. That is not fair. From your past BPFs, you seem like you put on just the right amount of weight. You are also much taller person so 30 pounds are probably pretty appropriate for you to gain. ((((HUGS))))

TeacherVicky · July 2011

Thanks ladies. I don't think I'll be answering my mom's weight related questions from now on as I'm sure they'll get worse postpartum.

jess252 · July 2011

Oh no, im so sorry. That really stinks. Just tell her your doc says it perfect and she would know better than anyone.

Eris-Alexis · August 2011

mgduke19:
I bet if you start asking her the same question when you see her, she'll stop. I was getting very annoyed by everyone thinking it was alright to just rub my belly whenever they felt like it, so I started doing it back. Sure enough, they stopped right away. Good luck and I'm sure you look perfect and healthy LO certainly appreciates the weight gain.

I second this idea. I'm really sorry that she is being so critical of you, and if you think that you can't talk to her about it, I would go with something a little more creative. Your weight gain is between you and your Dr, and as long as your Dr is happy and your LO is healthy, it shouldn't matter. Maybe remind her of that the next time she comments.

sessa717 · August 2011

that really sucks that your mom is being so nasty. i wish she would concentrate more on how you're feeling and that your LO is healthy and right on track. try your best to ignore her, the issues sound like her own self esteem issues and not yours. it sounds like you've gained exactly what the doctors recommend.

Weight gain scrutiny

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