I miss you guys- need to get some stuff off my chest.
Christakim
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Life is so incredibly busy. I didn't forget you all:) I check in and lurk every once in a while. I love that I have most of you on FB to catch up with too! I hope everyone is doing well and people who are on TTC #2+ are successful!
We are doing ok. Having twins and a 2 (almost 3) year old is hard, but I LOVE the busyness of it.
Ella is doing great, but having her terrible two's bout that doesn't seem like it's going to end anytime soon. Jules is also doing great. The Drs aren't adjusting for her age and she is nearing 17 pounds. That girl can eat lol.
I'm ready to tell you all about problems we are having with Tuck because I feel like I need to vent a little. During his 6 month well appointment, I had expressed to the doctor about how he is delayed in doing certain things and how isn't even holding his head up by himself yet (unless he's on his tummy). He bobbles his head, only uses his right side of his body, isn't close to sitting up on his own, and many other things. Well the doctor said if I hadn't said something, that he was going to suggest that he needs PT and OT. He was about done and looked Tuck over one more time. He happened to mention to me that we should be looking for markers of Cerebral Palsy. The doc was very concerned about his feet (the way they point) and how his head would not turn to the left unless we basically forced it to.
CDS (EI in Maine) came out to evaluate him. They just told me the same thing. He needed PT and possibly OT. Last week we went to his first PT session. The therapist told us that it's just to early to diagnose him. She said that if he does have CP that it's going to be a mild case because other than the things I mentioned, he is not behind. He was ready for solids, uses his voice, makes eye contact, giggles, and is very cuddly.
I'm so worried, but the only thing we can do right now is try to be proactive by bringing him to PT and working with him at home. He's such a sweet boy and I can't help but think when I look at him "is he going to be a normal little boy, is he going to walk before he's 2?"
Nobody has any answers for us and I've been really sick to my stomach about it. Already people are asking why he looks like he is so young. He's much much smaller than Jules and isn't sitting up like her and we have to hold his head when we hold him.
To top it off, I have to go in for my 4th lap in the next few weeks and will probably have to get my right ovary taken out and have to convince the doctor that I don't want a hysterectomy yet. Not because we want more kids, but because I'm 29 and I don't want to go through menopause or hormonal treatments.
I'm so very thankful for these blessings, but I'm so stressed out and knew you ladies would understand. I needed to vent to people I know who have gone through similar things. There are a few off the board who know about this stuff, and they have been soooo helpful but, well, tonight, I just needed comfort.
Re: I miss you guys- need to get some stuff off my chest.
HUGS. Im sorry you have a lot to deal with. It is great that you are getting the help you need now. It will make things better down the road. DH and I have both worked a lot with adults with CP and they can lead completely normal lives. Please dont stress on it to much (I know easier said than done).
We are hear for you. You know you have friends and support and many many shoulders here if you need it.
Daria- we should talk, other than a few other people that I've told, I feel sort of isolated when it comes to this.
HUGS. It is so scary when you are worried about your kids.
Finn likely also has CP. We have not heard the official diagnosis yet, but I am pretty sure we will. We know that Finn's issues stem from his extreme prematurity and severe bleeding he had in his brain. He also appears to have a mild case that is affecting his left side. Cognitively and socially he is on target, it is fine/gross motor that is our major hurdle.
Starting services is the most important thing. We have seen HUGE advances in Finn since he has been home with therapy. I am now pretty confident he will walk....eventually. A lot of providers will not even give a CP diagnosis until age 2 b/c of all the rewiring the brain can do. It is amazing. I think some of our best therapy comes from big brother Liam (2.5). Having a big sister and twin sister will motivate him like nothing else
Its hard. THe whole not having a crystal ball thing. I am trying to be more in the moment but still feel like I just want to know how the story playes out...where will his abilities fall? I ccan only imagine everything is compounded for you as you have a constant comparison for Tuck in his sister. Just know he is still the same perfect baby as before you knew something was up.
Let me know if you need anything, or need to talk.
*hugs*
Amelia has been very delayed in her gross motor skills. It has been difficult to see other kids months younger than her meeting milestones she is no where close to. With her there isn't great worry that it is something much more serious.
The biggest thing I can offer you is to work with him at home constantly. Separation Anxiety made formal PT very difficult for us. But I found if I took the time (like hours one on one with her on the floor) working with her we could really make progress. It is hard to find the time with a toddler, I can't imagine having another infant as well. But I learned so many things from the therapist to do at home. And she has come a long way.
So as difficult as it is to find time one on one it does help. Do you have help with the other kids so you can focus on him?
I will say some prayers for you. Hang in there, I am sorry he is dealing with this.
I am also sorry about the gyn issues.
Hang in there Mama! You are a wonderful Mom!
I'm so sorry that you have the same likely diagnosis. It is heart wrenching comparing the two, you are right, and it's hard, because I can see that Tuck is already looking to try and keep up with his sister, but can't. FB request me if you'd like, I would love to talk with you. Christa Gardiner Nielsen.
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
We should! I can't even begin to tell you what the past few months have been like around here!
Oh Mama...I am so sorry that you and that sweet boy are going through this.
I pray that he is just being a little late bloomer...and that a little PT and OT does him a world of good!!
(((hugs)))
i am so sorry to hear about your concerns with tuck. i know i would be worried sick in your place, but it sounds like you are taking the right steps to get him help. i hope that he makes quick progress.
and we're always here for you for support. come unload on us anytime!
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
Oh hon, I don't really know quite what to say, but my thoughts are with all you guys. You're a great "mumma" who's fought to the bone to get those kids (I know! I was THERE! lol) and if Tucker is going to need some help, he's in the right family to get it.
Big hugs, Mumma Tiger.
So glad E and J are doing so well! That's great! Your kiddos are to adorable!
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this stress. While it is for a different dx, I totally get the waiting to find out. DD was too young for so long even though we knew something was up. I also understand the questions, we get them from kids and adults (different questions of course - oh, she's really shy...no, she just does not comprehend nor can she talk and kids asked why she does/does not do a lot of what she does). I know it's hard and I don't know anything I can say to make you feel better but, you are a great mom for noticing these things and getting on top of it asap. I hope Tuck does not have the added stress of CP but, if he does he has an amazing mom who will fight for him. I will be keeping Tuck, you and your dh in my thoughts and prays. I know this is though mama. (((HUGS)))
You girls are all so sweet. Now I remember why I was on every.single.night. before the twins were born. I feel better knowing that there are other girls on here that I can talk to about developmental delays.
We are going to fight as hard as we can for Tuck to have a normal life chasing after his sisters and teasing them, it may just take a little extra effort on our parts to do it.
Thank you so so so much for your responses.
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(((hugs)))
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're doing absolutely the best things for Tuck, so I don't really have any advice there. I did want to share that I have an aunt with a mild case of CP. She had some difficulty walking (but walked without any kind of assistance for many years - she's in her mid-forties now and uses a cane). She is completely typical otherwise - went to college, married my uncle, has two sons...unless you see her walk, you would never know she has CP.
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