unwanted advice from other mommies (long vent srry)

MyHusbandMyHero · July 2011

Ok.. so we havent been too vocal with anyone other than our immediate family about our fertility treatments. I have a lot of friends who are already mommies posting "advice" to my wall..

When we came out on FB, the first thing she puts on my post is "I suspected u were!" -- and Im like REALLY? because back in November we had a clear convo about how DH and I probably wont be able to have kids.

then today I made a comment on how my allergies were bothering me, and this girl put "Oh it will get worse as you grow." and I said "Well its the rain the bothers me blah blah" then she goes on to give me advice about what meds she THINKS I can take. I quickly said those arent on my approved med sheet but thanks anyway. THEN she says "Oh poor u. GL its totally worth it.. promise!" GRRRRRR!! ((THROAT PUNCH!))

I posted something on DHs wall the other day about the dinner I made, and she said "If you feel like cooking dinner at all these 9 months, I will be impressed." -- OKAY first off, I wasnt talking to u!

Okay.. maybe this is me on my b*tchy streak but I KNOW its worth it! Ive been through SO much to get here and I dont want her unwanted advice. Shes like 22 with 2 kids under 3 and had no issues getting pg. Good for her! I wouldnt wish this on anyone! UUGGHHHHH Im so annoyed..

Sorry for the kinda long vent.. I know Im hormonal Embarrassed

Temp616379875002458 · July 2011

Vent accepted and approved! The only people I really want advice from are my doc, his nurses and the people who have been through what I have been through - which includes IF! And even then - I should ask for this advice - it shouldn't be unsolicited!!

CluckyEV · July 2011

block her

pink100 · July 2011

Ha! Yea block her ass! This is exactly why I wont be posting on FB. I will be totally annoyed by comments like this. FB sucks LOL

snoangel79 · July 2011

She sounds lovely! Being out eventually on facebook scares me, I'd block her <:

BathingInBitter · July 2011

Unfortunately dear, it only gets worse. Sad I got a whole bunch of unsolicited advice because I posted something about cloth diapering. I wasn't even asking for advice, I found a t-shirt that had a cute saying on it so I posted the saying and the unwanted advice came flooding in....

AmyD583 · July 2011

CluckyEV:
block her

Yes

I've been getting that crap too. I hate when people insinuate that I can't possibly understand anything about being pregnant since this is my first time.

MyHusbandMyHero · July 2011

AmyD583:

CluckyEV:
block her

I've been getting that crap too. I hate when people insinuate that I can't possibly understand anything about being pregnant since this is my first time.

This exactly AmyD! UGH!

WhiteGarden · July 2011

We haven't been very open about our IF struggles either, and based on the unwanted advice we've received about starting a family so far, I'm pretty sure we'll be assaulted with all kinds of advice from people once I announce I'm pregnant (only very immediate family knows now). I'm really bracing for the "well, now your life is over" type of advice, which I KNOW is coming, especially from people who already have kids. I don't think I'll handle it especially well, especially because the advice seems to come the most from people who have no perspective on IF or on how lucky they are to have had children in the first place.

You always have to consider where the advice is coming from, too... I mean, based on my one friend's dramatic descriptions of pregnancy at 6 weeks, you'd have thought she was terminally ill or something. I'm nearly at 6 weeks and I feel great, so I'm less likely to take anything she says seriously.

andrea817 · August 2011

NewMrsW:
Vent accepted and approved! The only people I really want advice from are my doc, his nurses and the people who have been through what I have been through - which includes IF! And even then - I should ask for this advice - it shouldn't be unsolicited!!

All of this - word for word I've also been getting a lot of "you'll see", which is driving me insane. Like if someone asks how I'm feeling and I say "good", it's
"you'll see. Just wait until the 3rd tri when you're too big to move". Yeah, I get it - I'll figure it out as I go. I also loathe "you have to". Like, "when you bring the baby home, you have to put it in it's crib, right from day one. Don't let it sleep in your room or you'll never stop". Not that I'm never going to need advice, but if I want it, I'll ask.

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