sleep issues, please help *LONG* — The Bump
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sleep issues, please help *LONG*

Liam was always a good sleeper, until 6 months when his teeth started coming in.  He started with more late night wakings, only for a few minutes to nurse and be comforted then back to sleep.  I felt bad for him being in pain (it was a wailing cry, not just a whine) so I'd go to him. 

Then he teethed non-stop for for 5 months.   We seem to be in a break now, but between vacation and then my ILs in town, he slept with us a few times and got sort of used to being in bed with us, and also me nursing him while we lay down.  He would nurse all night and I'd fall asleep and wake up and he'd still be eating.  Like I'm a human paci.

So now I have to break him of this new want of his and the last two nights have been mis.er.a.ble.  Letting him CIO is killing me, I end up going to him.  I worry about him waking Evie but also, he's standing in his crib SCREAMING.  It just doesn't sound like the kind of cry where he's about to doze back off by himself. 

And I'm tired.  Exhausted.  I just want to go to him, nurse him, and get him to sleep so I can get back to sleep.    But in the meantime, I have every intention of weaning him in 29 days, so once that happens, I can't just nurse him in the middle of the night. 

Last night, I tried rocking him and giving him a sippy.   That really only ended with more screaming.

Please help. I'm so tired, I just burst into tears for no reason.  And three year olds don't get that, so here I go to run around playing hide and seek.  

Re: sleep issues, please help *LONG*

  • i feel for you - my boy is a pretty crap sleeper, loves the boob, and we are in the process of weaning. a lot of times i am so tired i resort to nursing just to get some damn sleep too. i have to enlist the hubby sometimes (not easy with his work schedule) because nursing seems to be less of a priority for him if dad goes in to help him get back to sleep. 
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  • Does he take a paci?
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  • We went through a period like that with Emma.  I'd keep the monitor right next to me and if I heard her start to wake up at ALL, I'd go in and pat her on the back.  She would often fall right back to sleep.  If she started crying, we did a modified Ferber where we'd go in and pat her and then leave for a few minutes (3?) and then go back in and do the same thing if she was still crying, extending the time each time.  Does that make sense?  
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  • maykatmaykat member

    I feel for you. We went through this with Aerin at the same age and I remember her brutal cries. We had to cry it out and it sucked but its' the only thing that worked.

    She has been waking up now every night for the past 2 months and we have been going in to her (just for a few minutes) but finally I had enough and had to cry it out (my foot is injured and it kills every time I walk on it at night).  She's been golden ever since.

  • imageyellowtulips80:
    Does he take a paci?

    Stupid nest ate my post. 

    I know it sounds insane but 11 or 12 mos is about the time that Gavin started taking a paci.  He used to just play with them and then one night I gave it to him in the crib when he was having one of these phases and it worked.  Of course you'll have to deal with getting rid of it later, but that part wasn't as bad as I had expected.  My only regret was letting him use it outside of the crib b/c I think it added to his speech delay.  Sophie was also a late paci taker.  She just started taking one around 5 or 6 mos and we only allow it in the crib.  Same goes for daycare.  As long as she has that paci in her hand she's ok.  But God forbid she loses it in the corner or drops it out of the crib!  Not sure if it will work, but it may be worth a try. 

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  • imageslwprincess:

    imageyellowtulips80:
    Does he take a paci?

    Stupid nest ate my post. 

    I know it sounds insane but 11 or 12 mos is about the time that Gavin started taking a paci.  He used to just play with them and then one night I gave it to him in the crib when he was having one of these phases and it worked.  Of course you'll have to deal with getting rid of it later, but that part wasn't as bad as I had expected.  My only regret was letting him use it outside of the crib b/c I think it added to his speech delay.  Sophie was also a late paci taker.  She just started taking one around 5 or 6 mos and we only allow it in the crib.  Same goes for daycare.  As long as she has that paci in her hand she's ok.  But God forbid she loses it in the corner or drops it out of the crib!  Not sure if it will work, but it may be worth a try. 

    I've tried. :/ 

  • Well, honestly once P FINALLY goes the (*#$%& to sleep, there ain't much that will wake her.  (Most nights she fights sleep like a gladiator with the playing and the I need this or that, etc...) So I say go for it on Liam with the CIO bc I don't think he will end up waking Evie after all.  And you invest in some earplugs.

    Read the toddler chapter in your favorite sleep method book if you have one and try the method to the letter for a couple weeks if you don't want to do CIO.  

  • both of my boys did this when the molars and eye teeth were coming in.  It was like a 2 week phase.  I also sat on the floor in the middle of his room with my back turned and he would calm down.  I would move slowly out of the room until things were calmer.  He seemed like he was more comfortable of just wanting me in the room with him.
  • imagesigkapbride:
    both of my boys did this when the molars and eye teeth were coming in.  It was like a 2 week phase.  I also sat on the floor in the middle of his room with my back turned and he would calm down.  I would move slowly out of the room until things were calmer.  He seemed like he was more comfortable of just wanting me in the room with him.

    I did this the other night.  It took forever.  But it did work.   Tonight we are going to try DH rocking him.  He certainly does.not.need to eat.   

  • Honestly, when we miss the ideal time for E's naps, she does the standing in the crib screaming thing, and we just let her.  I know what you mean about it sounding like a "different" cry, but I know for a fact she is fed, changed, tired, etc and really only pissed at being forced to nap. So we let her cry. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes it takes 45 minutes.  But we let her CIO and it always results in a nice long nap.  We do it when necessary for bedtime too.  All that being said, the only time any of this is necessary is when we miss her cues and are too late putting her down. 99% of the time we get it right and she goes right to sleep. But that other 1% of the time we let her CIO, which def pulls on my heart strings but I know it is the best thing for us at this point.  Sucks, but if we went to her at this point, I *know* she would quickly learn how to manipulate us, she is that clever and at that age.

    Good luck!!! 

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  • Michelle, I feel for you. Tongue Tied  I really don't have much to add, except if you decide to try the CIO method, you may want to get a sound machine (for you), like with ocean waves or rainfall.  It may help drown out some of the crying, and lessen your anxiety level.  

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  • Paci. Paci. Paci.  Colton would have lived on the book 24/7 if I let him.  Now we are breaking paci habits but it is not too bad.

    I would go in intervals and at certain times it has to be Dad...not you with the boobs.  He really doesn't need to eat but if you want to pick one time, like 3 am, that will be your time to go in and nurse.  Everything else has to be Nico.

    Colton would get up at 1.  Rick would go sooth him.  Then the next three nights, we would not go in until 1:20.  Then the next three nights not until 1:45...and keep increasing the time and days.  They get it.  It only took about three weeks and Colton slept thought the night. 

    Good luck!

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know exactly how that feels. We went through something similar with Derek at about 13 months and he also wouldn't take the paci. He would just stand there and scream and after a week of no sleep for us and not being able to function at work we finally did CIO. Everything else just wasn't working for us. As much as it pulled at my heart, he wasn't responding to anything else except for more food or to be held to go back to sleep. I know the first night I had to listen to my ipod and have DH listen for him because I was near tears just listening to him. It's not easy, but it was worth it for him to get back on a sleep schedule and not used to waking up for comfort. Like pp said, if he was fed, changed, and nothing else wrong with him, we let him cry and it took 2-3 days and he was sttn again.
    Derek 6.30.09 & Parker 4.1.11
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