Who would you believe? Need help!

monkeysmama62 · July 2011

OK. My best friend and I stopped talking in January because she kept lying to me. I asked my DH not to talk to her anymore because I didn't trust her. He still did. Twice. The first time he only told me because he got excited about something she had told him and when I asked him where he heard it from he admitted it was from her. The second time I found out from looking on his phone. He says she texts him all the time but she says he's the one who texts her. Who would you believe?

kimbo1216 · July 2011

I would think you would believe your husband. At least I would. If you really need proof, I suppose you could always ask to see his phone and follow the text thread.

monkeysmama62 · July 2011

kimbo1216:
I would think you would believe your husband. At least I would. If you really need proof, I suppose you could always ask to see his phone and follow the text thread.

I read the conversation but many texts had been deleted. So I don't know who started it.

SarahP15 · July 2011

heather0926:

kimbo1216:
I would think you would believe your husband. At least I would. If you really need proof, I suppose you could always ask to see his phone and follow the text thread.

I read the conversation but many texts had been deleted. So I don't know who started it.

Why would your husband be deleting *some* texts? That doesn't sound good to me. And the fact that he's going behind your back is shady too.

monkeysmama62 · July 2011

SarahP15:
heather0926:

kimbo1216:
I would think you would believe your husband. At least I would. If you really need proof, I suppose you could always ask to see his phone and follow the text thread.

I read the conversation but many texts had been deleted. So I don't know who started it.

Why would your husband be deleting *some* texts? That doesn't sound good to me. And the fact that he's going behind your back is shady too.

This is why I don't know who to trust. Yes she has a history of lying to me but she would have absolutely no reason to lie to me about him. As for him he lied about her knowing how hurt I would be.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · July 2011

If it were me (not saying this is the right thing) I would check his phone often with out telling him. You'll find the truth.

monkeysmama62 · July 2011

Gwyneddlesliegrace:
If it were me (not saying this is the right thing) I would check his phone often with out telling him. You'll find the truth.

Sadly enough I already do this. That's how I found out about the second time.

cookierlr1 · July 2011

The fact that you feel the need to check his phone in the first place kinda answers your question. Besides who cares who started it, if you asked him not to talk to her the only text you should see is him turning down the conversation. Unless they were good friends before you came along...

monkeysmama62 · July 2011

cookierlr1:
The fact that you feel the need to check his phone in the first place kinda answers your question. Besides who cares who started it, if you asked him not to talk to her the only text you should see is him turning down the conversation. Unless they were good friends before you came along...

No they only became friends because of me. He use to hate her but I asked him to give her a chance for me and this is what happens.

kpaivel · July 2011

cookierlr1:
The fact that you feel the need to check his phone in the first place kinda answers your question. Besides who cares who started it, if you asked him not to talk to her the only text you should see is him turning down the conversation. Unless they were good friends before you came along...

monkeysmama62 · July 2011

kpaivel:
cookierlr1:
The fact that you feel the need to check his phone in the first place kinda answers your question. Besides who cares who started it, if you asked him not to talk to her the only text you should see is him turning down the conversation. Unless they were good friends before you came along...

I told him that when I read it. His response was he knew he shouldn't have responded but he wanted to see if he could get away with it. Which I think hurts worse.

MustanGTbaby13 · July 2011

heather0926:
kpaivel:
cookierlr1:
The fact that you feel the need to check his phone in the first place kinda answers your question. Besides who cares who started it, if you asked him not to talk to her the only text you should see is him turning down the conversation. Unless they were good friends before you came along...
I told him that when I read it. His response was he knew he shouldn't have responded but he wanted to see if he could get away with it. Which I think hurts worse.

what is he in friggin high school?

monkeysmama62 · August 2011

MustanGTbaby13:
heather0926:
kpaivel:
cookierlr1:
The fact that you feel the need to check his phone in the first place kinda answers your question. Besides who cares who started it, if you asked him not to talk to her the only text you should see is him turning down the conversation. Unless they were good friends before you came along...
I told him that when I read it. His response was he knew he shouldn't have responded but he wanted to see if he could get away with it. Which I think hurts worse.
what is he in friggin high school?

Sadly no. He'll be 23 in December.

erinlovesdavid · August 2011

Based on your responses, I think the bigger issue is the trust (or lack thereof) between you and your H. If I were you, I would insist on some marriage counseling as a prerequisite for you staying with him. Otherwise, I would be out the door. YH is being seriously shady, and you don't need to deal with that kind of nonsense.

cvl105 · August 2011

heather0926:
MustanGTbaby13:
heather0926:
kpaivel:
cookierlr1:
The fact that you feel the need to check his phone in the first place kinda answers your question. Besides who cares who started it, if you asked him not to talk to her the only text you should see is him turning down the conversation. Unless they were good friends before you came along...
I told him that when I read it. His response was he knew he shouldn't have responded but he wanted to see if he could get away with it. Which I think hurts worse.
what is he in friggin high school?
Sadly no. He'll be 23 in December.

You both sound immature. I think it's weird they text often. I can understand if they were trying to plan something for you...but otherwise I see no reason for them to talk. Check the phone charges online. You can see texts....not the actual message, but to who they were sent at what time...I think so at least.

11kacey · August 2011

It is 3:30 in the morning so forgive my bluntness, but I see two options:

Your husband is being a douche OR this is his passive aggressive response to what he believes is your controlling behavior. I believe in no way that he is doing anything acceptable, but 23 is pretty young.. do you frequently tell him what he can and cannot do.. or does he THINK you are always telling him what he can and cannot do?

Anyway, in my mind he could be simply reacting to you telling him he can't talk to someone (which I have never done with my husband.. at all.. and he has never done with me either), OR he is a douche and knows that this woman hurt you and does not care and wants to pursue a friendship (or maybe more) with her.

You said that he wanted to see if he "could get away with it" which makes me lean more towards the option that he feels like you are controlling him.. but like I said it is three am and I am only seeing black and white right now.. so take my post with a grain of salt..

LollyBug18 · August 2011

11kacey:

It is 3:30 in the morning so forgive my bluntness, but I see two options:

Your husband is being a douche OR this is his passive aggressive response to what he believes is your controlling behavior. I believe in no way that he is doing anything acceptable, but 23 is pretty young.. do you frequently tell him what he can and cannot do.. or does he THINK you are always telling him what he can and cannot do?

Anyway, in my mind he could be simply reacting to you telling him he can't talk to someone (which I have never done with my husband.. at all.. and he has never done with me either), OR he is a douche and knows that this woman hurt you and does not care and wants to pursue a friendship (or maybe more) with her.

You said that he wanted to see if he "could get away with it" which makes me lean more towards the option that he feels like you are controlling him.. but like I said it is three am and I am only seeing black and white right now.. so take my post with a grain of salt..

This was my first thought. Men don't generally respond well to being told what they can and can't do, especially by their wife. Hope you guys can get down to the bottom of this for the sake of your LO!

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