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December 2011 Moms
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NBR Vent

cdymondcdymond member
in December 2011 Moms
Okay I don't usually vent on here, but I'm annoyed and my husband is acting like I'm nuts. We are going to visit his family next week, which is about a 10 hour drive for us. We're using about his last vacation week before the baby comes to visit his family, which is not my first choice but it's important to him. So his brother called and said the first day we're there they want to have a guys trip to a water park about an hour away from their house, no women invited. I know that guys have "Guys nights" all the time, but I think since we live 10 hours away, when we come in to visit I'm not sure it's appropriate to schedule a guys only entire day. I feel really excluded. It's not like I can't find anything else to do, I just think it's kind of rude for them to make plans for him on our visit, and for them to exclude me when I'm coming to visit too. Am I overreacting here? 
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Re: NBR Vent

  • rubyjem00rubyjem00 member
    Honestly, I think that you are overreacting. It sounds like you are going to be there for a week. For just one day, he is going to go out and spend time with his brother and other guy family members. I get that you feel excluded but you have already admitted that you can find other things to do. I would get worked up about his guys' day - plan a girls' day for the women in the family and enjoy yourself.
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  • cdymondcdymond member
    Yeah maybe. I'm just tired of this happening every time. His family places a huge emphasis on men and women being separate. When we hang out with his married cousins, the guys just congregate and it's like we women aren't even there to them. It's bad enough that I'm excluded when his friends come over and they all get hammered and ignore the women, but every time we go in there's another huge ordeal cause they always want to make plans to hang out "guys only" too. I don't understand why they're so opposed to women being around all the time. If they choose to hang out all together and exclude their own wives on a regular basis, that's their business. But every time we come to visit they do it, and I end up excluded from my own vacation. It really makes me resent my husband for letting it happen.
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  • kwinkle1980kwinkle1980 member
    I think that is totally rude. I would be really irritated and sad that I could not go to the water park. I hate it when families do exclusive things like this...why not include everybody?

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  • heuyheuy member

    imagecdymond:
    Yeah maybe. I'm just tired of this happening every time. His family places a huge emphasis on men and women being separate. When we hang out with his married cousins, the guys just congregate and it's like we women aren't even there to them.

    I feel your pain with the segregation. I'm not much for the catty ladies on my in-laws' side and I purposely hang with the guys during holidays to avoid them. 

    If I was in your position, I'd go shopping (if you can) and maybe even by myself! :) 

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  • rubyjem00rubyjem00 member

    imagecdymond:
    Yeah maybe. I'm just tired of this happening every time. His family places a huge emphasis on men and women being separate. When we hang out with his married cousins, the guys just congregate and it's like we women aren't even there to them. It's bad enough that I'm excluded when his friends come over and they all get hammered and ignore the women, but every time we go in there's another huge ordeal cause they always want to make plans to hang out "guys only" too. I don't understand why they're so opposed to women being around all the time. If they choose to hang out all together and exclude their own wives on a regular basis, that's their business. But every time we come to visit they do it, and I end up excluded from my own vacation. It really makes me resent my husband for letting it happen.

    It sounds like there is a bigger problem here then. If it were just one time, then yes, I would say that you were overreacting. But if this is a consistent thing, the best thing for you to do is to sit down and have a long conversation with your husband and let him know exactly how this type of behavior makes you feel. Maybe the guys could have one day during your vacation and then you make plans for you and your DH for the rest of the time, taking into consideration other family members.

    Good luck.

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