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Really tough day

ZZsmommyZZsmommy
in Pregnant after a Loss

A year ago, I got the BFP that resulted in my miscarriage the day my dad passed away.  I have been HIGHLY emotional recently (I'm  thinking it's pregnancy hormones, but maybe it's related to the 1 year anniversary of BFP day, too).  Add that to the pregnancy complications I've been having, I've been quite a mess.  It feels strange, to be such a mess about this anniversary though when I am only 6 weeks away from having this baby.  I guess as much as I want him and am grateful to have him, there is a part of me that misses her, and wishes she were here with me.  I can't have them both, and that is so hard.

 

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Re: Really tough day

  • jen629jen629 member
    {{HUGS}}
    Hold On ....Michael Buble
    MTHFR 2 copies of C677t mutation homozygous 2/2010
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    Baby A born via c-section 1/10/12 @38w3d
    BFP #1 11/4/09 m/c 4w3d baby crab
    BFP #2 12/4/09 m/c 9w3d baby lion
    BFP #3 7/1/10 m/c 4w1d baby fish
    BFP #4 5/8/11
    BFP #5 8/17/12 10dpo beta 7
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  • MrsAtchMrsAtch member
    My first loss was in 2007 and it's not something you ever really get over- regardless of whether you are pregnant again or not. You aren't alone, so don't feel bad about being emotional. I'm thinking of you and hoping you're holding up okay. (HUGS)
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
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  • LoriJ11LoriJ11
    Big hugs. I know it is hard and of course you want them both... you will never forget her.
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  • opalloveropallover
    I am so sorry. It is totally ok to grieve your baby angel and still be excited about your impending labor! *hugs*
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  • JayandTay09JayandTay09
    Sending you lots of hugs and strength to get through a tough day....
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  • shoefreak85shoefreak85
    ((hugs)) I'm thinking about you today!
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    "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
    BFP #1 7/4/2010--Natural M/C 8/4/2010
    BFP #2 4/25/2011 Please stick, baby!! EDD 1/1/2012
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  • GPicklesGPickles member
    ((big hugs))  today and in the upcoming weeks.  I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. 
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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    Hugs
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

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     Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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  • martinimommamartinimomma member
    ((Hugs)).  That's a lot to deal with.  ((More Hugs))

    image 

    BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 2/2011
    Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
    Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013

    Motherhood is not for wimps

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  • magic867magic867
    I agree with MrsAtch - i had a miscarriage in 2008 and still think about it  - annivesary of conceiving, when the baby would have been born and the day I lost the baby....i don't know if i will ever stop thinking about it....my heart goes out to you!!! take it easy  and do something nice for yourself...
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  • MsPegeesMsPegees
    ((hugs)) you are dealing with a lot. Hope this day goes quickly for you and you start to feel better.
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  • EricaK28EricaK28 member
    Huge hugs.
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  • VeilSdeGTOVeilSdeGTO member
    I'm sorry.  ((hugs))
    My Chart

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    BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
    BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
    BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
    BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
    BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
    BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
    BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
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  • TeacherVickyTeacherVicky member
    I'm so sorry. ((Big hugs))
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  • itsmeginitsmegin

    I'm so sorry, you've had such a difficult time this entire pregnancy, no wonder you're emotional with all the anniversaries coming at once.

    Of course you always miss the baby you lost and wish you could have both, I think we all have that feeling. It's a crazy thing to have to deal with.

    ((((HUGS))))

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  • clausekaclauseka member
    I'm sorry that you're having to deal with the weight of the world right now. I'm so happy for you that it's so close to delivery though.  Hang in there and take time for you.  ((Hugs to You))
    TTC in May 2009.
    M/C July 2009.
    BFP #2 6/1/11(1st cycle on Clomid)
    Norah Lynn was born on 2/3/2012
    TTC again January 2014


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  • klovesa69klovesa69
    i know exactly how you feel, its bitter sweet. good luck to you , all those hormones will go back to normal soon enough :)
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  • Eris-AlexisEris-Alexis

    I'm so sorry sweetie.  These milestones are always so hard and lead to such conflicting emotions.  I completely understand wanting your angel baby and your new LO. 

    ((Big HUGS))

    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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