This made me cry
Especially this:
I haven?t been asked this question since that day when my son was just days old. But if someone ever asks me again, ?Can?t you have kids of your own?? I know how I will answer. I will look at them, beaming with pride, and say, ?Yes, I do have a child of my own. As you can see, I have a beautiful son. People build their families in all different ways. But their children are their own no matter how they come together.?
Tears. Just tears. If only people could really understand. If only those who are so hung up on the unseen genetics or the pregnancy thing could understand. I've been told a lot "of course you say you wouldn't change anything now, adoption worked out for you". If everyone only knew. I pray for the day when it is seen as more of the miracle that it is, one that rivals pregnancy, instead of something that is unnatural, weird, or worthy of some kind of pity. I think the whole "you just can't understand till you're there" thing applies more to being a mother through this miracle than anything else.
Re: This made me cry
Amen! People just don't get it... it's as natural as anything I know!
Your comments remind me of an interesting encounter I had recently. I was running errands w/a tired baby. We were leaving Target. I had MJ in a baby carrier on my chest. My hands were full, and I was feeling hassled.
All of a sudden I heard a voice say, "Your daughter is beautiful. Did you go to China?"
In a split second I rolled my eyes and answered, "She's Korean and she was born here in CA. Thanks." I was annoyed but I tried not to sound annoyed. And then as I turned towards the woman, I realized she was Caucasian and had a teen age daughter with her who was Asian.
The mom proceeded to tell me her daughter was 15 and she adopted her from China when she was three. Her daughter was so sweet and kind.
As we parted, the mom said to me "you are one lucky lady".
At that moment, tears welled in my eyes. Not just because I felt lucky but because this woman "got it". She knew I WAS THE LUCKY ONE... we didn't "save" my daughter. She was perfect without us but we were lucky to have her! I just wanted to reach out and hug this stranger for acknowledging how fortunate I am to have my daughter in my life. She's everything and we are blessed beyond words.
So often, when I meet people who want to talk to me about adoption, they will say "she is so lucky to have been adopted". They have it all wrong... we are the lucky ones and we know it!
Love and so agree. One thing that will get me madder than HELL is if someone says/eludes to we "saved him" or those who adopt are so wonderful to take in the "poor and unwanted". I seriously go off when I hear anything close to this. While sure, he may have tons of opportunities that he wouldn't have had, he is not the lucky one. We are. 100%. I always tell people that he is the one that saved us. It is so wonderful to meet people who really understand, although it doesn't happen often.
Silliest's story reminded me of something that happened to me about a month ago. I was at the eye doctor's, and he started out with his usual questions about my life and how that might affect my eyesight. "Do you work?" "Do you use a computer for a lot of hours each day?" "Do you have any children?"
Huh?
Oh well, maybe running around with kids means I don't just watch TV and play on the computer all night, too, or something. So I answer, but since I see this guy usually once a year (although I skipped last year because we were in Peru for the adoption and it slipped our minds to reschedule), I explain that last year we adopted a 7 year-old from Peru. That way he wouldn't think I have an infant or toddler at home, since last time I was there I must have told him I don't have any children.
He responded with, "Oh. That must have filled a very special need."
Now my guard was instantly up. "Uh, well, we are the blessed ones to have him."
He then took a step back and explained that he had adopted his two sons, and so what he meant by his comment is that he understood that we didn't take the traditional path by adopting an older child internationally. We began talking, and he told me that his sons, which he adopted as infants domestically, are now both in their 20s. I explained that we just wanted to give a kid who might not otherwise get the opportunity a chance at a loving family. We talked about the transition year, and it came out that we adopted M even knowing he had a failed adoption and needed heart surgery. He offered lots of supportive words.
Then he told me the truly remarkable: he has actually also adopted two girls in Jerusalem, but the government there won't let them leave the country. He knew this before adopting them, but did so anyway. He pays for their care, makes several trips to visit them a year, and just threw the elder one a huge, lavish wedding, complete with all the trimmings. I broke my heart and totally changed my view of this man all at the same time. Can you imagine loving a child so far away, and only being able to support them like that?
Wow that is so amazing. Children born out of pure love.
My blog: Making Me Mom
aww, thinking about it makes me cry too!!
People don't get it. Someday, I will be so happy to say "this is MY child".
Married my amazing husband May 22, 2010
Became Step-Mom to 2 boys.
Husband had vasectomy in 2004 during first marriage.
Adoption Is Our Path!
Application sent March 29, 2011 First Meeting with CW: April 25, 2011 Final Visit and home visit: August 16, 2011
September, 2011 - told we are ready to be considered by birth parents. Officially WAITING!
Spring of 2012, we start to work with a Consultant and apply with a few agencies around the US
June 2012 - we are MATCHED
July 25, 2012 - Our SON was born in Arizona
August 8th, 2012 - we flew home with our baby
Awaiting Finalization
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