Someone please reassure me that the courts favor mothers...

Re: Someone please reassure me that the courts favor mothers...

• hollyg1920 member

  July 2011

  former single mom lurking...

  Overall I think the courts typically rule in the mother's favor

  I do not know your story so I will not make any assumptions but are you hoping your  X will not get joint custody and if so...why? 

  If he is a wonderful father then why shouldn't he have equal time?  It is just a question....so please do not think I am taking a side...i do think stability is important to a child...but there are visitation agreements that can be made that allow equal time and allow for stability in the child's life

  If he is a good father..be thankful...many of us have 'men' who fathered our child(ren) who are not good fathers and did not want to be involved
  

  
  

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• crystalt426 member

  July 2011

  I am with the previous poster. As a former single mom who lurks as well..

  My court experience lately has been siding with the child and what is best, in our case the father. More and more courts are leaning towards 50/50 custody. While that may not be completely possible with the distance, many men are getting more time. With LO being so young, now is a great time for LO to establish a routine of going back and forth. The older they are, the harder it is. The court usually takes into consideration who wanted the move when determining if distance plays a part. You will both have to share the cost of transportation, usually in the form of meeting halfway. I don't think that the father should get penalized because he works every day, just like I don't think that a mother should be penalized for that either. Providing is a wonderful thing.  
  

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• hollinor member

  July 2011

  I wish the courts would favor the CHILD.  I had all of my child custody/support and divorce done in Hawaii because that's where I was living at the time.  I'll never forget the woman at the court house telling me that they are only required to keep the child at poverty level.  That pissed me off!  Granted, if the father makes more, the child will get more.  But he can take some crappy job, or have no job at all, and his only responsibility is to keep that child at poverty level.  Disgusting.  My twin's dad thought if he didn't get a job (he got kicked out of the Army), he wouldn't have to pay.  Wrong!  I got a lawyer and we went to the court with the information of what my ex had the "potential" to make.  So basically we went in there with the income information of what an E-5 in the Army makes with the COLA allowance the Army gives for BAH & BAS in Hawaii.  When he found that out he went and got some crappy job so that the child support level would be lower.  *Shakes head*

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• angelame1979

  July 2011

  Courts lean in what's in the best interest of teh child.  If you have always been the primary caretaker then that's probably what would happen, but why would you want him to have less time?  Your son deserves to have his father around as much as possible and you should work together to come up with an arrangement that works for all parties.  If he works then he probably won't get to have him during the week, but if he wants to see him one night a week after work for a few hours then try to work that in the schedule.  If you can be amicable it's going to be a lot easier...it's not about who gets more time than the other.  I am not a single parent but I know a lot of them.  I already told my husband that if we ever divorced we are living down the street from each other because I want our kids to have access to both of us whenever they want to go to the same school and not have to worry about having missing there friends at their primary house when they are at the OP house which is hard when they get holder.  GL  It is not such a battle if you can be civil about the whole process and will go a lot quicker.

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