Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Rach21
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Weepers of the World Unite!
Rach21
member
What's so "inappropriate" about crying as an emotional response to something? I cry at sad books, songs, movies, commercials, greeting cards, you name it. DH laughs at me when I get misty, but in a good-natured "I love my wife" kind of way. Others feel like crying is an overreaction and needs to be squelched once the tears start flowing. My ex before DH thought crying = manipulation.
Granted, some things are ridiculous to cry about (like the Seinfeld episode where the chick cried over dropping a hot dog) but we've all had THOSE days where something trivial just opened the flood-gates. Is it really a sign of weakness or a sign that we can give ourselves the good-old cathartic cleanse every once in awhile?
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Re: Weepers of the World Unite!
I don't think there's anything wrong with crying AT ALL. I'm like you - I cry as an emotional response to books, movies, songs, etc. Hell, I cried at a dance routine on SYTYCD the other day because it just moved me so much. And I have to admit - I find myself crying even more now that I have DS. It's not that I'm sad, it's that I just FEEL so much more now that he's in my life. It's a well of emotion I didn't think I even had.
Crying is a natural emotional response, and is quite cathartic. I always feel so much better after a good cry - and I think nature designed it that way.
DH never cries. Ever. Not even when his dad died. I think NOT crying in some situations is much more "inappropriate" than crying. I find it strange and usettling that in the 11 years I've been with my husband, he has never cried (and no, he didn't do it while I wasn't there/looking/home either).
So let it out, ladies.
The only time my DH has ever cried was when I said something utterly stupid. He's been working at the same place for 7 years, has put in tons of applications, and hates his job. He was telling me how he feels (which is rare. I should have just shut my mouth and basked in the sharing of his feelings) and he said he felt like people looked down on him for managing a pizza place. I said, "Well, maybe it's your attitude that needs to change because there is no shame in managing a pizza place." He then explained, without looking at me so I wouldn't see him cry, that he goes to work and works hard (no one would ever know that he hates his job if you just saw him in action) but it feels like he's dying inside because not only is he not doing what he went to school for, but he's afraid our DS would grow up and think he was a failure. I have never regretted my words more and to this day when I think about that conversation and how much I cut him, I
It seems like your comment came from a really good place - and I agree, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with managing a pizza place. There's a lot of people in this world that would consider that a great success, in fact.
But of course, you had no idea the emotional baggage that hid behind your husband's statement...I mean, how could you? It's not like most men share all their feelings. I honestly see what you said as just trying to help.
But yeah, I know what you mean. I made a comment to DH one time about how I would give anything to be a SAHM with DS. I had no idea that he already blamed himself for me having to work. He used to make A LOT of money....and once he became disabled, he had to stop working and I became the only worker in our family. So I hurt his feelings, and I felt really, really bad.