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TTC After a Loss
New to TTCAL
Good morning everyone,
My name is Holly and yesterday I had a D&C due to a blighted ovum found at 8wks, 3days. This was our first pregnancy, and needless to say, I am devastated. I am trying very hard to stay positive, but its hard. Last night I was at dinner with my parents and my husband, and was telling my husband that we could start trying again as soon as I got my period. My mom chose that time to tell me that I had no business trying again until I lost a lot of weight (I'm overweight, but not obese or anything). I don't get how she doesn't understand that the only thing that will make me feel happy again is becoming pregnant again. Needless to say, last night was not good.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New to TTCAL
Welcome and I am so sorry for your loss. I had my d&c yesterday too. I am also heavier than I should be. Two months before getting pregnant I had started taking Zumba classes to try to get back into better shape. I found out during my pregnancy I may have a blood sugar issue. My doctor told us to wait two cycles to ttc again, so I'm taking this time to continue trying to lose weight again and figuring out if there's an issue with my blood sugar so that I'm more healthy when we try again. I am approaching it as an opportunity to keep laying the groundwork for next time. Was this your first pregnancy? I feel better prepared for what to expect next time around.
I'm sorry for your loss
That truely stinks that your mom chose this time to nag you about losing weight. While it CAN help, she has no business bringing that up, especially the day of your D&C!!!
People can be so insensitive. it drives me insane. you would think family would be the best support, but sometimes their comments can hurt the most.
again, I am sorry for your loss
this is a great group, and I hope you find some comfort here.
PAL/PGAL Welcome
My TTC Chart
BFP #1 12/13/08 - mc 12/26/08
BFP #2 12/2/09 - emergency surgery for ectopic 12/5/09
<a href="http://s24.photobucket.com/albums/c13/mmperea/Decorated images/?action=view
I am so sorry for your loss. And I am sorry you have people that are insensitive around you. Others just Do NOT understand at all. You are like me - a new pregnancy will help you feel better. Some don't want to try for awhile. It just depends on how we heal. Praying for you.
Danielle
I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my first. I am sorry for the comment your mother said to you. Suprisingly, this isn't the first time I've heard about the people who are closest hurting us the most. My own mother made an insensitive comment and I was shocked. Welcome to the board.
BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12
Hi Holly,
I had never had surgery before either, so the d&c yesterday was my first. Although it was crappy circumstances, I couldn't have asked for a better experience. Mine was at the hospital and all of the nurses were so kind. They made me very comfortable and I was knocked out too for the procedure so I don't remember anything between getting to the operating room and waking up in recovery. I have been taking ibuprofen and haven't had any pain other than a splitting headache today. I also have stopped bleeding so far.
Every doctor seems to have different guidelines for how long to wait. I lost twins, so my doctor wants to make sure I'm healed up and also give time to figure out my blood sugar.
Holly, I'm so sorry for your loss
And I'm even sorrier (is that a word?) that your mom is being an idiot. What is it with moms having bad reactions to things like this? My mom had yelled at me while I was pg because I told (other than immediate family) 4 girlfriends I was pg. One of the first thing she says post-m/c is, "Well, lesson learned: maybe you won't tell everyone you are pg next time." Like me telling people caused me to have a m/c?! Are you f'ing kidding? Long story short, the only people who will know I am pg next time are my DH, sister, and hopefully all of you ladies (i.e. the only people who were supportive, caring, and not frickin' a$$hats when I had a m/c).
I know you will find so much comfort here. Welcome and hang in there! ((Hugs)) to you!
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
BFP 7/6/11 Natural m/c 7/20/11 @ 6w2d
BFP 9/25/11 Grow baby grow!
Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11
I'm so sorry for your loss... i dont understand why that comment would be appropriate no matter what the sitaution was... im sorry she made you feel bad... and there is no direct link to being skinny vs overweight and getting pregnant... i know just as many skinny people that have m/cs as overweight people that do!
Dont let her get you down!
Welcome to the board. I am so sorry for your loss!
This board is full of supportive women. I hope you are able to find comfort here.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words. My mom showed up at my door today and apologized, so thank goodness for that because I was not doing well.
This "blighted ovum" stuff just sucks. Its just a mean trick that makes you feel pregnant?? How unfair is that that it even exists? Ugh.