I guess I don't understand
Ok I need to vent a little. I have an 8 year old step son and his mom has a 2 yrd old with her new husband. I get a little annoyed because she caters to my Step son's every need. She still carries him around and makes the 2 yr old walk basically picks him over the little one. When she was pregant with the 2 yr old she had him way early and almost died giving birth. Now she says the 2 yr old is like a hemroid and her and my step son kind of joke saying he is annoying.
MY ss came over the other day and said his brother got in trouble for biting him before my ss pushed him because he had his toy. The 2 yr old got in trouble and my ss got nothing. I know this isn't my business I just thought it was a little odd.
I guess my deal is I have had 3 miscarriages and she had no problem with any of the two she has had and now she complains about the youngest and here my husband and I are having troubles even being able to keep it.
Re: I guess I don't understand
Unfortunately, you can not do anything about how she chooses to raise her 2 year old unless you really believe that he is being abused.
The only thing you can do in the mean time is to try an impress on the 8 year old whenever you can that it's not right to treat his baby brother that way. You might be surprised by the impact you have on the situation. Try to get him to sympathize with his little brother. If you do it carefully without accusing or trying to point the finger directly at his mother and you just focus on his actions and his words and how he can better treat his brother.
For example:
"SS, do you really think it's nice to push your brother?"
"Yes, I know he bites, but you know, 2 year olds tend to go thru a biting stage. Next time, try not to be so mean and just ask him to stop. Maybe next time you could distract him with another favorite toy of his, or give him something of yours that you know he likes and you don't mind him playing with."
"Wow SS, that sounds kind of mean of you to call your little brother that name. Do you really not like him? Why not? He's only two. Your his big brother. He just wants to be like you. Maybe you could try to be nice to him instead of being annoyed because it's a pretty cool thing that he looks up to you like that."
See what I mean? Play on his sympathies. Leave his mom out of the discussion and re-direct it away from her when he mentions her. Try to teach him what HE can do as a big brother to better the situation.
That is exactly what Id did talking to him about biting his brother.
I guess it just discourages me she acts like she is better than everyone and complaining about her son and how annoying he is when she almost died and I can't even have one.
Since you mention the bolded in your OP and your response, I think it needs addressing. Unfortunately, the fact that she can have babies and you can't have nothing to do with each other. I understand that it adds to frustration, but you need to separate the 2.
You said she almost died giving birth--that's a pretty big problem IMO.
Just like your miscarriages affect you and how you feel, almost dying in labor surely affects how she feels. Since you have no control over what happens in her house, I think you should try not to judge or worry.
Don't get me wrong--it sounds like she coddles the 8-yo FAR too much. And it sounds like she could use some therapy...