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Toddlers: 24 Months+
would this upset you....
We keep a stash of money in a safe in our house. Not a whole lot but a couple thousand saved up in case of whatever....emergency, vacation, etc. Anyway my DH's family owns 3 businesses....a photography studio, a furniture store and now a restaurant. Well business has been slow so my DH took $1,000 out of the safe without telling me to use for studio to make payroll this week. I noticed things were misplaced in room with safe and asked what he was doing there. He then told me about money. He said he was going to tell me later. Back in Feb he took $1,500 for same reason. But at that time he asked me first.
I got so upset and I am furious. He hasn't been paid in weeks and we are struggling on my salary alone. We have been saving for a new house for the last year or two so we haven't been touching that money in safe with new house in mind. Am I overreacting??
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Re: would this upset you....
I would have been upset. He should have discussed it with you because its your money too and these financial decisions affect you too.
IMO it may be more constructive to use the "what are we going to do about this" approach with patience and an open mind than the "why the f*ck did you do that" approach with fire eyes and projectiles
GL!
First of all, yes, I'd be upset too.
But... considering he did ask you the last time he did something similar, and so the not-telling-you thing is a first offense (so to speak), I'd try to let it go.
Sounds like he knows you're upset, he messed up, 'nuf said.
I do think once you calm down you need to talk to him about what's going on. Get more details about how the business is doing, why did he feel taking your (as in both of you) personal money was the best decision at the time, etc.
And then set actual rules for if either of you needs to raid the safe in the future.
GL!
yes, I'd be bothered.
But, my bigger concern is, why is he involved in 3 businesses that he needs to loan money to them to meet payroll? Are other people in his family also throwing in their personal funds to make ends meet on the businesses?
Yes and no.
Presumably your DH has some ownership in the businesses, in which case he will recoup that money sooner or later. So the 'no' part of it is if the money is sitting there doing nothing and will be repaid in a timely manner, then why not.
However, if the business are failing to make payroll (twice within 6 months) there are obviously serious issues on that front.
If it is just a temporary cash flow issue and the money is to be repaid, then he should totally pass it by you first. However, if he is artificially propping the businesses with your personal funds then he should under no circumstances use that money. If a business cannot survive on its own revenue, it is not a business, it's a hobby. Think about it this way: would a bank loan the business the money/offer a line of credit to cover (which frankly the business should have anyway). If not, then you shouldn't either.
Not overreacting at all. The amount is worrisome, but even a lesser amount should be cleared. We keep emergency money in the house and I really think of it like that- an emergency. For example, I used some the other day to pay a locksmith when our door knob broke and left me unable to get out of our front door. To me, this is exactly the kind of situation in which I want to have cash in the house. I would probably have gone ballistic if I went to pay the locksmith and realized DH had taken all of our emergency cash without asking me/telling me first.
But to another issue- if you're saving that money for a house (not just an "emergency-in-the-house-fund"), I would probably put that into some kind of savings or investment vehicle in which you'll get at least a little bit of interest.