And the hits keep on coming...

punnkdork · July 2011

Last week, I had my first bout of pregnancy related heartburn. This is my first pregnancy so I wasnt sure what I could take so I just suffered through until I could call my doctor the next day. About 9:30pm I felt good enough that I thought I would be able to lay down and go to sleep. My phone rings and it's my ex. I dont answer, he leaves a voicemail. I listen to it and remember thinking to myself that he sounded weird.

About ten minutes later I get a few rapid fire text messages. I consider ignoring them but get back up to see who they were from. They are from my ex's step sister in law saying that my ex was an ass and asking if I was ok. I was confused but she went on to explain that my ex had posted some nasty things about me on Facebook. She goes on to tell me what exactly was said which included making fun of a medical condition, calling me a *** and complaining that I am not giving the baby his last name. I sent him a text saying saying "I cant believe you" and then within a couple of minutes the FB message was deleted. I go to bed.

The next day, about mid-morning I get a message on FB from another friend saying she saw what my ex wrote and asked if I was ok. Thinking it was the message from the previous night I said that I was but was glad that the ex deleted it so quickly. She informs me that she just read it and it was 60+ comments long. I ask her to send it to me in full and she does.

This time my ex and his sister team up to go after me. I was accused of not letting him go to doctor appointments, not informing him of what is going on with the pregnancy, not picking up after my dogs when they have an accident, not cleaning house, laying around watching tv instead of working (I work from home), being spiteful about the baby's last name because I hate my father and on and on.

He of course had a few other people commenting and giving him advice on what to do which included: breaking down my front door and just taking the baby, filing for custody as soon as the baby arrived, going to the u/s appointment to sit there until I showed up, talking about the baby not even being his. One of the people commenting was brazen enough to friend request me. I didnt add this person because I had no idea who it was but after seeing the messages I was able to put it all together.

I was humiliated. I spent the rest of the afternoon crying.

The next day, I wake up pissed. I decide to go down to the police station and see if there is anything I can do about this harassment. I talk to an officer and let him read the seven page printout of the FB messages, plus all the texts I have documented, plus another printout of earlier things he has posted about me on FB. He tells me that he isnt threatening me per se and it isnt harassment if what he is saying isnt directed to me. Great. He does call my ex and basically tells him to stop posting stuff about me on FB and to not contact me again.

The officer and I talk for a long time and it comes up that when I kicked my ex out of my house he threw a dog house at my car - breaking the dog house. He asked if I called the police. I say no. So he decides to file a report on the incident anyways. My ex wont get into trouble for it as I have already thrown away the dog house BUT now he can include all the texts and FB posts in the report. I guess to officially document what has been going on. So thats that, I guess.

And then through all this mess I also find out that my ex has a kid. I had heard this from various people over the course of our relationship but my ex always denied it. Strongly denied it - with tears and a long sob story. But the night he blasts me on FB he admits he has one kid and another on the way. I wish I could say I am shocked but after everything - not so much. He hasnt had anything to do with this child who is around 7 or 8 years old - financially or emotionally. My ex is a disgusting pig.

I'm sorry but I just need a place to vent. He is making my life miserable. I have never had someone gunning for me like this and I am not sure how to handle it. I dont care about public opinion - most people who know my ex know that he lies and those who know me know what he is saying is untrue. But its embarrassing nonetheless. And it fvcking pisses me off.

I obviously need to get in contact with a lawyer soon. I dont even know where to go from here...

jmepurple · July 2011

Document everything! And call a lawyer asap! He can complain all he wants about you not letting him know anything. But until that baby arrives....it is your body, your medical records there fore he has no rights. Until paternity is established again, he has no rights. He can pisss and moan all he wants. All it is going to do is make him look childish in court. Until there is a formal custody agreement, I would not let him nor his family any where near the baby. You have to protect yourself and your child. He could just walk away with the baby and there would be nothing you could do about it because there was no custody agreement. Stop communications with him and his family. You do not need to talk to them what so ever. Block their numbers through your cell phone provider if you need to. But there is no need for you to have any communication with them especially now that you know she is as much of a crap talking jerk as he is. Good luck with everything.

Unknown · July 2011

This content has been removed.

punnkdork · July 2011

I have kept most communication through text or email for documentation purposes. My ex is and has been lying about absolutely everything thus far. Not only have I kept him informed about doctor appointments (he hasnt shown up) but I update him after the doctor appointments. I have my a/s in a couple of weeks and up until he did this he was invited to go. He obviously knows about the appointment because he told everyone on his FB when the appointment was. The douchebag cant even keep up with his own lies. Sigh.

I know that I can put his name (and his family) on a list of people not allowed to visit me while I am in the hospital. Also, if I am understanding properly, I am not obligated to put his name down on the birth certificate. Until paternity has been legally established (which he would have to initiate), he would have no rights to the baby and couldnt just bust in and take him/her. I'm not trying to be a b!tch but I am not going to take these threats/initimidation tactics lightly. I hope a judge would be understanding about me distancing myself from him and his family through this as well.

I would block his number but I have a feeling he will try to contact me again at some point - he has no self control. I figure, give him enough rope and let him hang himself.

As I was writing this the police officer I talked to just showed up at my house to check on me. He said that he was filing a report with the district attorney and my ex might be charged/arrested. He also wanted another copy of the FB posting from the day we broke up and he threw the dog house.

punnkdork · July 2011

beccaga16:

Is he your friends on FB? If so then defriend him! If you are trying to monitor for harrassing posts then block him from your wall at least.

You have done all you can right now. Keep everything and get a lawyer!

Nope - when we broke up I deleted him. However, we have a lot of mutual friends who send me information when it pertains to me.

Pharout · July 2011

My ex is similar. Posting stuff on FB calling me a C*** and Bi***, telling people to pray for my soul, and that I am stupid, he's sorry our child as to deal with my dumb a**, etc... Oh and the main one that he later took off...that I should be glad he doesn't believe in violence against women.....

I am documenting everything. My Lawyer is looking into seeing how the local courts are reacting to FB posts and e-mails.

GL on your end...Document everything keep a computer file, and/or paper file.

andrearobertsonyeah · July 2011

Your ex sounds eerily similar to mine. The compulsive lying, ganging up on others with his family and just the overall immaturity.

After he and his family tried to pay me ($50,000+) to have an abortion and sign non-disclosure papers, I got out of there asap and put 2,000 miles between us. I would have liked to have him involved, but the damage he did cannot be repaired. The best thing is to keep moving forward and think of how much better life is without him around and causing the mass levels of stress for me and for the baby.

I've started seeing a therapist who takes my insurance copay for our sessions and she also teaches parenting classes. I think the best course of action is to find healthy ways to rise above a bad experience/experiences and prepare myself for how to positively handle the questions I know my child will ask when he/she is older about their deadbeat father.

JewlzK · July 2011

Your ex sounds like mine almost exactly. We only dated 3 months and after I found out I was pregnant we broke up about 2 weeks after that. For the first couple of months of my pregnancy he made my life a living hell. Calling and texting and emailing threating emails the whole thing. He wanted to come to every doctor's appointment etc. I told him it was my body and didn't want him there. So he went to a lawyer thinking he could do something to make me let him come. He had no such luck. My doctor assured me that he had no right to come to the appointments or even the hospital if I didn't want. So I pretty much started ignoring him, defriended him on facebook. He eventually gave up and left me alone for the most part until the end of my pregnancy. I come to find out later that he had hacked into my email and facebook accounts so he could keep tabs on me. When I had my daughter I did call him and let him know. He came running to the hospital to see her and ran his mouth the whole time he was there about how he was going to take her and this and that. The next week I got 2 texts from him and haven't heard from him since, she will be 3 months on Sat. He is not on the birth certificate, in WI my state if you aren't married they won't put the father on the bc unless you establish paternity. And until that is done he has no legal rights for visitation or anything. I agree with what everyone else is saying document document everything. I also looked up my ex's criminal record and found he has a felony and a DUI so if he ever does try for visitation I have everything I need to show he is not a fit parent. Take care of yourself and your baby and do everything you can to protect the 2 of you!!!!

pcrock92 · July 2011

I didn't read any of the PP so sorry if I'm repeating things!

This guy obviously has a lot of issues.. he doesn't even claim his first child but now he all of a sudden wants to be a part of your baby's life? Block him on facebook, go to your cell phone provider and change block his phone number(s) or change your number. It's just putting you through more stress and trauma than you've already been through. Hopefully this guy will leave you alone. You'll be a great mother, and you're such a strong woman! Good luck and God bless!

punnkdork · July 2011

Thank you all for sharing and for the advice. It sucks that we have or are going through such similiar situations but it's nice to have others to commiserate with.

I just cant believe that there are so many guys out there that treat the mother of their children with such disrespect. It's pretty damn pathetic.

kaytiroo · August 2011

So I'm not completely in the same situation. However, I can empathize because you sound well rounded and sane. About the guys that suck, why are they great until they are not? It's like an all or nothing deal. The guy I was seeing was perfect. Well you know, near perfect. And now he's hurtful and rude. I don't get it. Why waste so much energy on being so hurtful and destructive? And where was this horrible attitude when we were dating? I didn't see it coming.

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