2+ Moms ?

Mrs.Wright07 · July 2011

I've started trying to make plans for what to do with Madison when I go into labor (better late than never right?), but I'm having a hard time.

With Mads I was induced, so everything was planned and we had plenty of time and went to the hospital in the middle of the day etc.

I'd somehow managed to convince myself that's how things were going to be this time. However, I know that's likely not going to be the case.

My questions are:

1 - If you had someone stay with DC #1, did you have them meet you at your place? Drop DC at their place? Take DC to the hospital and have them meet you there?

2 - If you went into labor in the middle of the night, did you wake up DC #1 to tell them that you were leaving or did you just leave?

I'm afraid if I go into labor in the middle of the night and we have someone come to stay with her, she'll be really confused when she wakes up, but at the same time, I don't want to wake her up and then leave.

Yikes! Sorry for my rambling. There's just so much more to think about this time around.

NorcalLinds · July 2011

If possible I would leave Mads in her routine, have the person come to you. That way she is comfortable, even if you guys are not there. If you go into labor in the middle of the night, I would just leave and not wake her up. She might not go back down very easy and you wouldn't want the person responsible for her to have to deal with a upset/crying baby in the middle of the night.

I think its normal to feel nervous and scared about what to do with DC#1. I had a lot of loose "plans" many people offered for me to call them anytime of the day/night if I went into labor. It bothered me a lot that I wouldn't "know" and the plan wasn't set. But as I got closer and closer to my delivery date I kept telling myself, worst case scenario, we will take L with us to the hospital and someone can come get him there.

As it turned out, I went into labor in the hospital while I was being monitored for a fall. Go figure! Couldn't have planned for that one.

tri_bride05 · July 2011

Mrs.Wright07:

My questions are:

1 - If you had someone stay with DC #1, did you have them meet you at your place? Drop DC at their place? Take DC to the hospital and have them meet you there?

My mom came. I called her when contractions started getting regular (6 am) and she came to our house about an hour later. I had the baby by mid-afternoon and DH went home at bedtime and spent the night with DC#1 - we really wanted to keep things as normal as possible for him.

2 - If you went into labor in the middle of the night, did you wake up DC #1 to tell them that you were leaving or did you just leave?

This was a fear of mine as well, but ended up a non-issue since I went into labor in the morning. However, I did talk to DC #1 about it a couple weeks before my due date. We let him know that I'd be having the baby soon and that grandma would be taking care of him. We also mentioned that she might pick him up at school if I was having the baby (told his school as well) and that she might be there when he woke in the morning. He spends a lot of time with Grandma so I would not have woken him up had I gone to the hospital in the middle of the night.

I was really more worried about DC#1 than anything else when my second pregnancy was nearing the end.

tri-reader · July 2011

First off I should clarify that my labors are long so I wasn't worried that I'd have to leave at a drop of a hat. If it came to that our neighbors were on alert just in case.

1 - If you had someone stay with DC #1, did you have them meet you at your place? Met at our place. I labored at home for 12 hours before I called my IL's to come up, gave them time to get here and me to give them instructions etc before I left for hospital.

2 - If you went into labor in the middle of the night, did you wake up DC #1 to tell them that you were leaving or did you just leave? If this time around it happens in the middle of the night I would just leave. Let them sleep.

KellyMRocks · July 2011

1 - If you had someone stay with DC #1, did you have them meet you at your place? Drop DC at their place? Take DC to the hospital and have them meet you there?My sister lives with us so she stayed with him during the night (I left at 11pm, he was asleep), then my aunt came to stay with him when my sister had to go to school. 2 - If you went into labor in the middle of the night, did you wake up DC #1 to tell them that you were leaving or did you just leave?We let him sleep. But, we talked a LOT about what was going to happen, who was going to stay him before it happened. He was almost 4 at the time, BTW.

SweetieP · July 2011

My situation is a little different because my closest relative lives almost 2 hours away. The plan was that I'd call them as soon as contractions started so that they could start packing and come up. And then just keep in contact with them as contractions got stronger/closer together (I was in labor with Ryan for about 24 hours so I assumed I had enough time).

My contractions started at 3:00 a.m. I timed them until about 3:45 and they were consistently about 5 minutes apart but not more than 30 secs in length. I called them at 3:45 and told them that they should get up and start coming up here. By 5:15, I was in so much pain and just really trying to remain calm. I showered at that point and the contractions were enough to double me over. By 6:00, I was on the floor and screaming through each contraction - which were every 3 minutes (max). The finally got there at 6:15 (OMG), and it took me 2-3 contractions just to make it down the stairs and to the car.

My dad stayed with Ryan while my mom and DH went to the hospital with me. Thank the Lord that my screams didn't wake up my son (yay for his humidifer on full blast). No one said goodbye to him....but he also knew that when it was time for the baby to come out, that he might wake up one morning to just having Papa there to take care of him.

And everyday for about 3 weeks, he'd ask me in the morning if today was the day.

(Oh - and for what it's worth - We got to the hospital at 6:38 and Natalie was born at 6:44.)

Good luck!

RevJG · July 2011

I had a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks and I made it to that date so all my planning was a non issue. My mom flew in from out of state a few days before my scheduled date and she stayed with DD. My DH had planned to go home every night and sleep there, but it was a total disaster (I desperately needed help to even pick up the baby after the surgery and the nurses totally sucked at responding as soon as I needed them). I was really worried about how DD would deal with just being with my mom (she knows and adores her but my mom lives 2,000 miles away so it isn't like she sees her on a daily basis).

If I had gone into labor before my mom got there, DD's nanny was on call (ie, sleeping with her phone on her pillow-ha ha). If it had happened in the middle of the night the nanny would have come over and we would not have woken DD up. She would have been stoked to discover the nanny in the morning.

DD really surprised me by being very mellow and adaptable about the whole thing. I stressed a LOT about it for nothing.

AvaLikeLava · July 2011

I knew I would be having an unplanned c-section (i.e. wait to go into labor on my own, but NOT labor, and report to OR asap). My mom would take care of G while we were in the hospital for the week. BUT my mom lives in LA, so had to calculate for travel time.

We planned that in all instances, G would be at home, and his bridge-gap care (until my mom arrived) would come to the house.

As it turned out, my water broke very early in the am. We sent G to daycare, my mom began her drive out. One of G's daycare teachers brought him home and stayed with him until my mom arrived.

If I had needed to go in, in the middle of the night we would've left w/o waking him. All the people that were on the list to care for him, he knows well, so I wasn't worried about him being too uncomfortable.

Mrs.Wright07 · July 2011

Thanks everyone. I'll make sure we talk to Mads lots about what's going to happen.

And on that note, does anyone have a recommendation for a good book about becoming a big sister?

My.ABC.Life · July 2011

SweetieP:

My situation is a little different because my closest relative lives almost 2 hours away. The plan was that I'd call them as soon as contractions started so that they could start packing and come up. And then just keep in contact with them as contractions got stronger/closer together (I was in labor with Ryan for about 24 hours so I assumed I had enough time).

My contractions started at 3:00 a.m. I timed them until about 3:45 and they were consistently about 5 minutes apart but not more than 30 secs in length. I called them at 3:45 and told them that they should get up and start coming up here. By 5:15, I was in so much pain and just really trying to remain calm. I showered at that point and the contractions were enough to double me over. By 6:00, I was on the floor and screaming through each contraction - which were every 3 minutes (max). The finally got there at 6:15 (OMG), and it took me 2-3 contractions just to make it down the stairs and to the car.

My dad stayed with Ryan while my mom and DH went to the hospital with me. Thank the Lord that my screams didn't wake up my son (yay for his humidifer on full blast). No one said goodbye to him....but he also knew that when it was time for the baby to come out, that he might wake up one morning to just having Papa there to take care of him.

And everyday for about 3 weeks, he'd ask me in the morning if today was the day.

(Oh - and for what it's worth - We got to the hospital at 6:38 and Natalie was born at 6:44.)

Good luck!

Aw, that part made me tear up!! So cute!! Can't wait for my DS ot be a big brother!

SweetieP · July 2011

Mrs.Wright07:
Thanks everyone. I'll make sure we talk to Mads lots about what's going to happen.
And on that note, does anyone have a recommendation for a good book about becoming a big sister?

We have several including the berenstein bears one. I got several used ones that worked for us. Seems like each of the ones we had talked about a different part of being a big brother (sister). The berenstein bears one talked about outgrowing his bed and needing a new one (not really relevant to us but it was a good read and Ryan liked it)...one book talked about adding a baby to the family and what it might be like (and that mommy and daddy would always love you) and the third was more about what the baby was going to be like (crying, eating, sleeping, no playing, etc....and how the baby would grow but how he'd have to be patient...and how he could help teach the baby new things...and help feed/change/etc the baby.

I'd probably just go down to the bookstore and read through the books that they have.

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